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Love in 90 Days: The Essential Guide to…

Love in 90 Days: The Essential Guide to Finding Your Own True Love

by Diana Kirschner

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Take my advice -- don't go out there looking for love without reading Diana Kirschner's LOVE IN 90 DAYS. This book is more than sentimental, seasonal fluff -- a LOT more! I had expected a rehash of the usual advice for finding a partner. You know, join clubs, volunteer, be open to dating your next-door neighbor's third cousin's son, get a dog. I was surprised to find that though Kirschner has a fun and accessible writing style, she takes her subject very seriously.

In fact, you should be prepared to take a good hard look at yourself as early on there's a discussion of deadly dating patterns. Kirschner explains 13 patterns and helps you to identify which ones you might be stuck in. Readers are asked to do a lot of self-assessment throughout this entire book, but particularly in the first few sections. Of course, most self-help books have sections of writing exercises at the end of each chapter, and this one is no exception. But it certainly makes sense to figure out exactly what you're looking for in a partner and why you haven't been able to find the right guy so far.

Did I say "find the right guy"? Kirschner has aimed LOVE IN 90 DAYS specifically at women, and she covers situations from a female perspective. I think guys could certainly benefit from some of the advice in this book, but with terminology such as the Dud/Stud Test, they might be more comfortable looking elsewhere. Kirschner does point out that to be a worthy contender, a guy should have some aptitude for self-reflection and personal growth.

One of my favorite ideas proposed in LOVE IN 90 DAYS is Kirschner's advice to date three guys at once early in the program. At first the concept sounds a bit tawdry, but the emphasis here is on dating, not a physical relationship. Part of Kirschner's reasoning here is to keep women from falling too hard too fast and becoming caught up in a "singular focus." By dating three guys at once, you can allow yourself the opportunity to really compare and contrast - and that will help you determine what attributes are most important to you in a partner.

Another thing I liked about this book is Kirschner's style of writing. Reading along, I had the sense of being advised by an older and wiser sister or cousin. While there are clinical and academic references at the back of the book, the text reads like a friendly chat. And that's nice, especially when "Dr. Diana" suggests online dating! Don't worry, she'll guide you through it every step of the way from picking a site to picking a partner.

I liked LOVE IN 90 DAYS a lot. Any lady out there who is looking for love should take the time to check out this book -- and follow the advice! ( )
  MissMermaid118 | Sep 15, 2011 |
This review was written for LibraryThing Early Reviewers.
This is one of those so-so books that doesn't really add anything new to current romance advice--There are tons of books out there on the same topic and some are far better. That said, it does offer helpful ideas and it's not really offensive. It's just there among the other books.

I'm not really looking for anything permanent or "true" love, but I was looking to meet new potential boyfriends so I could date around and get some ideas as to what I want at this point in my life. I had no interest in men for several years after separating from an abusive ex-husband, but I decided that this would be the year I'd get out and really date again. And that's really the most essential message of this book--you have to WANT to get out there and try. Kirschner's tips advocate a very proactive attitude to finding love rather than a laid back, "wait and see" attitude.

So with my own goals in mind, I tried some of Kirschner's ideas. Apparently my new open mind and decision to meet someone this year helped. In the spring, I went to an event for a club in which I am a member, and at one point, realized that four men were sitting at a table with me, vying for my attention. True, it is a club dominated by men, but more importantly, it is a club in which I am extremely interested. You can't just go out and try to find a guy in a place that that doesn't reflect your values; you have to look in places that would attract the kind of man you want to meet.

I had more dates this year than I've had in any year since high school and I enjoyed some exciting, but short term relationships. All because I simply decided that this was the year I was going to go out and date! I didn't find true love, and the idea of going husband shopping doesn't appeal to me, but I have no doubt that a similar attitude applied to those goals can be effective.

So to finalize, Kirschner offers good ideas that can work; however, there are many other similar books on the market and some of the others are better. ( )
  MaryWysong | Dec 12, 2010 |
This review was written for LibraryThing Early Reviewers.
Pretty basic. Common sense for people who are already outgoing. Don't see how it will work in just 90 days, but I guess the title is just to get your attention.
  bohemiangirl35 | Oct 11, 2010 |
This review was written for LibraryThing Early Reviewers.
When this book showed up, my 30 year old single daughter snatched it up and sequestered herself with it. It's been more than 90 days, and she hasn't found Love yet. It has given her some good tips to try. One that sounded dishonest to me was to sign up for an online matching service as a member of the opposite sex to see what the "competition" does differently.
  loveradiator | Apr 25, 2010 |
This review was written for LibraryThing Early Reviewers.
This book was way too basic and promises more than it can deliver. I think any book that "guarantees" love is setting itself up for failure, and this one fits right into the group. ( )
  amaryann21 | Apr 21, 2010 |
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"In this fun, savvy, and grounded book, Dr. Diana Kirschner tells women how to ditch their single days and find the potential man of their dreams in just 90 days."--Provided by the publisher.

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