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Making Children Mind Without Losing Yours by…

Making Children Mind Without Losing Yours

by Kevin Leman, Kevin Leman

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This is one of my favorite parent-help books. Kevin Lehman makes raising children easy and gives you a few simple steps to follow. Lehman hits the nail on the head, giving parents confidence in discipling children. ( )
  LindaMorris | Mar 29, 2011 |
My daughter is at that age, the terrible twos, and the temper tantrums have kicked up. She has always been such a mellow and bright-natured girl, so this has been a challenge for us. I decided it was time to seek out some help in the discipline area. My mom gave me this book some time ago, so I took it off my shelf, dusted it off, and checked to see whether Leman's parenting philosophy on discipline would jibe with my own. Fortunately, it did.

He calls his system Reality Discipline, which is just the term he invented to describe a system of accountability and consequences, based on children psychology and faith. In essence, he asks parents to try and stay calm, and respond to misbehavior with the consequences that the situation mandates. For instance, if a child intentionally breaks a toy, don't yell and scream. Simply have them help clean up the mess and explain that the money for replacing that toy comes out of their allowance, since we have to pay for what we break. If a child is having a temper tantrum, take them to another room, and tell them that they have a choice to make a fuss but not to bother your time with it. Don't give them an audience. In all situations, use prayer and faith to guide these decisions. He also has his opinions on spanking, which exactly coincide with mine; spanking is an option, but it should be used as a last resort for important situations, such as a child putting herself or others in a dangerous situation.

The book is divided in two parts, the first explains his system and the reasoning supporting it, and the second addresses specific disciplinary scenarios that parents have addressed to him and how to apply Reality Discipline to those problems. Each part is liberally sprinkled with examples from his own family and from his clients. I really agree with his philosophy. He warns parents away from authoritarianism and permissiveness, and paints the picture of an authoritarian parents. This is something that I have endorsed since I studied child psychology. I firmly support natural consequences for misbehavior, and I am right in line with his points on spanking and time outs. The best part of this book was reading about specific applications to discipline problems, because I may have my general ideas about parenting, but taking those and using them in daily life is much more difficult. This book has already supplied me with great ideas, and will continue to be a useful resource for me in the future. ( )
  nmhale | Feb 17, 2011 |
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Leman, Kevinmain authorall editionsconfirmed
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Amazon.com Amazon.com Review (ISBN 0800731050, Paperback)

As the title indicates, Making Children Mind Without Losing Yours is a book with a friendly, lighthearted approach. Author Kevin Leman (The New Birth Order Book) speaks directly from his experiences as a father of five and a practicing psychologist. While you won't find specific studies or statistics here, you will find straightforward, practical suggestions that often get right to the heart of troubling situations.

Leman's technique, which he refers to as "reality discipline" is based on a particular passage from the Bible, and his book is liberally sprinkled with his religious beliefs. These references will make this book a particular favorite for some readers; his stance that parents' authority comes directly from God is a fundamental principle of his text, and some parents may prefer a less evangelistic approach. That said, it's hard to disagree with suggestions such as "train yourself to be a good listener" and "give your children direct eye contact." Nearly every suggestion is coupled with a real-life example of the behavior in discussion, making for an easy read, and every chapter ends with questions labeled "to review and apply" as well as a short section of concepts to put into practice. The section dealing with divorce suggests you make a list of the chapter's suggestions you find difficult and create a plan to implement them. Leman assumes that anyone reading this book can find the time to create such plans themselves, and doesn't provide his readers with any step-by-step charts. If you're not up to creating your own action plans, you may prefer a more detailed form of help than this book offers. --Jill Lightner

(retrieved from Amazon Thu, 12 Mar 2015 18:07:31 -0400)

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Describes the seven principles of reality discipline, gives questions at the end of each chapter, offers a discussion guide, and shares real-life examples of Dr. Kevin Leman's techniques.

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