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Buying Dad: One Woman's Search for the…

Buying Dad: One Woman's Search for the Perfect Sperm Donor

by Harlyn Aizley

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Snarky, self-deprecating memoir about the author's attempts to get pregnant. Harlyn ("Harlie") Aizley details the whole experience, from the tick-tock of her biological clock at her 38th birthday through the exhausting process of donor selection, at-home artificial insemination, interuterine treatments and the dreaded moments of getting her period. While Harlie and her girlfriend, Faith, struggle on the path to motherhood, Aizley's mother is battling ovarian cancer, adding further urgency to their quest.

Ignore the misleading title — Aizley isn't embarking on the path to motherhood alone; she's accompanied by her girlfriend, Faith. Maybe the author's internalized homophobia, which occasionally rears its head, is to blame; maybe it's the homophobic context. (Aizley is horrified to realize, for example, that many fertility clinics deny treatment to "single women," a term that is conveniently applied to coupled lesbians.) Or maybe it just makes for a catchier title.

In any case, her homophobia is made less offensive by the fact she is well aware of it, incorporating it into her self-deprecating shtick. Her writing is engaging, funny, and multi-layered; she mixes the tragic with the comedic, offering a readable memoir peppered with late '90s and early '00s references. (The book was published in 2003.)

For a glimpse into Harlie and Faith's life after the book ends, check out Faith's essay in the anthology Aizley edited, [b:Confessions of the Other Mother.|87637|Confessions of the Other Mother Nonbiological Lesbian Moms Tell All!|Harlyn Aizley|https://d.gr-assets.com/books/1320467320s/87637.jpg|84601]
  csoki637 | Nov 27, 2016 |
It's rather odd how people give away so much information unknowingly. Reading Aizley's book, it's no suprise she and Soloway split up. Consistantly, she thinks of this process as her own entirely, and does not include her partner. It is not, after all, subtitled "Two Women's Search for the Perfect Sperm Donor," which, in fact, is telling. ( )
  werechick | Jul 11, 2007 |
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