When comedian/writer Carole Leifer [Curb Your Enthusiasm, Seinfeld] turned 50, she decided to write it down and share it in a book. I’m a good 15 years younger than her, so I could relate to some things and other things I’m not quite there yet. I don’t have children. I’m not gay but I have gay friends. I’m not Jewish but spend a lot of time in Brookline, Mass. I’m a vegetarian. I’m a feminist and an animal rights activist. I’m liberal. The point is a good comedian and writer will bring you into her world. Leifer succeeds at times and at other times, I just thought she was treading water or re-visiting old jokes, familiar territory i.e. “I think you can stop, I’ve heard this one before.”

Leifer addresses: hiding your age; cars as “political statements”/ any statements; how she found out she was gay at age 40; her love of animals; body changes as one ages; her breast cancer scare; feminism; things men should know; fake breasts; Judaism; her father; New York; being comfortable; doctors; therapists; class reunions; and many other topics.

She delves deepest into her relationship with her father. Although he worked as an optometrist, she explains that her father had always wanted to be a comedian. Leifer had been taking adult b’nai mitzvah classes when he died. She still carries around a list of jokes he carried in his wallet. At another point, she addresses when her doctor thought a lump in her breast might be cancerous. She had just started dating Lori and the panic merely strengthened the fledgling relationship. Finally there are the normal trials and tribulations of being part of a couple. Leifer became a vegan, yet Lori continues to eat meat. Leifer wants to be buried in New York, while Lori wants them to be buried together in her family plot in California. Leifer adds some comedic moments to these serious elements of her life and there are some hits and some misses as with any comedy routine.

I knew Leifer did stand-up and wrote for Seinfeld and dated Jerry way back in the day. Other than that I didn’t know much about her. I’ve learned a few things from this book but still do not have a strong grasp of her persona. When You Lie about Your Age, The Terrorists Win is not particularly momentous. It is a fast-paced, light read. ( )

April

I really liked this book -- it SO helped me in my quest to turn 40 without having a mini-breakdown. Leifer's writing style is just like her standup - funny, pithy, and makes you question your current beliefs, attitudes and practices. It's a lovely memoir and an inspiration to women in particular. Leifer writes about everything from becoming a lesbian at 40, adopting a son when her baby maker was already closed for business, vegetarianism, her father, and women's rights. The main points I took away from this book were: it's never to late to change/learn new things, life really is about the journey, and love your family and friends. ( )

I typically do not read this genre, and I was concerned that I wasn't in the correct age bracket to truly enjoy the book. It was presented to me that the book is about coming to terms with yourself, coming into your own, and becoming the person you are meant to be. Since turning thirty a few years ago, I am all about coming to terms with myself and coming into my own, so I took the plunge.

I wasn't disappointed. While I might not have been able to relate to some of the stories Ms. Leifer mentioned, her main message is for all ages. No matter what age we are, life is going to continue to throw us curve balls, but that is what makes life interesting. We can either sit in a corner and hide or we can adapt and grow. More importantly, we are never too old to continue to grow and learn.

Even more vital, Ms. Leifer's opinions about growing old gracefully are refreshing in this era of plastic surgery and fighting any hint of age on our face. While I still struggle with the idea of death, she did give me food for thought that every wrinkle is a testament to our journey through life, and we shouldn't be ashamed of that. And to erase those wrinkles (through Botox or face lifts) is not being true to ourselves. It's a message that I wish more in society would adopt.

In general, Ms. Leifer's novel was enjoyable. Her list of forty things she knows at age fifty cracked me up to no end. I seriously laughed out loud with that one. At other times, she was quite poignant about the twists and turns her life has taken. In all, she does give food for thought. It's a quick read that I would recommend to anyone interested in a bit of self-discovery. ( )