Final Crisis

Such an incoherent book - almost, seems like name-dropping all DC character is the mish-mash of plot. Even after book is over, chaos has not cleared in my mind. First few 'stories' were so vague, that couldn't go on. Even though it is a library book, it was lying around without being read. Won't recommend it to anybody, perhaps the vaguest work from Grant Morrison. ( )

...what the &*(# was that?!?

I've enjoyed Grant Morrison's work in the past, but Final Crisis feels like an experiment gone wrong. It's incoherent and lacks even one memorable scene. Call me stupid (you won't be the first), but I couldn't make any real sense of it at all. Reading it felt like work, but there was no payoff. All it did was make me feel that the entire superhero genre is tired and outmoded.

Basically, Grant seemed to feel it necessary to try to amp up the tired old "heroes save the universe" plot into "HEROES save the MULTIVERSE!!!!!!", but ended up creating a confusing mess. Maybe it's time to stop trying to save the universe, and move towards a storyline a little less full of s---. Something that relates a bit more to the human condition.

I mean...it seems to me that Final Crisis is a good example of a real problem with the comics industry, or at least with the Big Two. The stories just don't have any connection to the real world any more. It's just the same old stuPENDOUS, tiTANIC WORLD-SAVING!!! And seriously who gives a f--- any more?

The fantastic is integral to superhero comics, just as sugar is integral to ice cream. But a comic book that consists of nothing BUT the fantastic, with the same old fantastic plot that has been done to death a million times over, is like ice cream made of nothing but sugar.

It'll rot your teeth. And the only people who'll like it are those with very simple tastes. Since TV serves the simple-tastes market cheaper and better than comics can*, this isn't an approach that bodes well for the future of comics. And frankly, Grant Morrison is capable of better.

If there's nothing that connects a story to the reader, if there's no actual human element in the story, only rabid fanboys with undiscriminating tastes will buy your books. And where's the future in that? That's not an audience that's going to grow. It's not like fanboys have a high reproduction rate! And I should know - I was one.

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* See "Minimum Wage and the Prices of Comics" - http://www.vonallan.com/2011/08/minimum-wage-and-prices-of-comics.html ( )

I don't know why I even bought this in the first place, as I tend to have a low opinion of most of the big "events" in comic books, but Final Crisis managed to surpass any and all expectations I might have had for how terrible a graphic novel could actually be.

For one thing, the story is nearly incomprehensible. Perhaps, if I'd read all the dozen or so tie-in novels as well, the story would have made more sense, but if you're going to collect a story in a single book, you should at least have to collect a complete story. And, I suspect, even reading the other tie-ins wouldn't have helped with the artistic and narrative failures to be found within this one single volume.

Frankly, the book doesn't even seem to understand itself. The death of Martian Manhunter, which should have been a pretty big deal, is passed over so quickly it could easily escape an inattentive reader's notice. Not only is Martian Manhunter a more important character to the DC universe than scores of minor characters who take up so much of the narrative, but the whole point of killing off a major character at the beginning of the story is to show just how high the stakes actually are. Instead, Morrison seems to kill him off with barely a shrug. The death of Batman, at least, gets a bit more attention, but is robbed of all its potential narrative power by the fact that it's so clearly advertised on the cover of the book.

On the other end of the spectrum, there's the resurrection of Barry Allen, who seems to have been brought back to life for no particularly good reason at all. Obviously, it goes beyond cliche to point out that death in comic books is as survivable a condition as the common cold, but it should still have some sort of value. If you're going to undo it, make it count for something. But Barry accomplishes nothing that couldn't have been accomplished by any of the other Flashes (a fact underscored by the fact that he basically spends the entire story with Wally, alternately chasing something or being chased by someone else), and the mystery of his return is all but ignored and plays no part in the narrative.

The art is mediocre at best, with the exception of some of the cover art. Wonder Woman's mask is a shocking image, but one that is never given the kind of focus it deserves. ( )

What first comes to mind when I think of Final Crisis is how much I would like my $30 back, followed quickly by a general sense of disappointment at how a graphic novel with such excellent artwork could have such a awful, disjointed storyline. It's unclear whether this novel is trying to be too smart for its own good (and failing miserably), is incomplete (were there more issues?), or is just incompetently written. Bereft of meaningful transitions to let the reader know that things were moving on, I was left bewildered and by the end of the "story" still had no solid idea what the hell had happened. ( )

Oh, Grant Morrison. What happened to you? You're like (as an old Scrabble adversary once told me after a long-time-no-see and a terrible beating) an old boyfriend who you see at the bar and he's totally lost it, drunk, wheezing, and using his tucked-in t-shirt in an unsuccessful bid to rein in his sagging belly. Only with you, there's also third-rate flashes of what once made you great (the scene with Barry whatsisguy and "Flash Fact" is priceless), like, superslowmotion self-cannibalization, like you have only your past ideas to eat and winter is setting in ("Super Young Team" is cute, but that can't be your whole joke about Japanese superheroes--not in 2009. A single page of New X-Men would have had seven times the psychedelic futurism). And you also seem inexplicably bitter. Has the magick deserted you since you decided to crank out predictable shit to line your nest? I hope not, but I hope so. ( )