Honestly dearest, you're dead (edition 2008)

Rating: 3* of five

The Book Report: The book description says:
“A Safe Place for Dying, the first in Jack Fredrickson’s highly acclaimed Dek Elstrom mystery series, was nominated for the Shamus Award for Best First Novel. Now, Chicago P.I. Dek Elstrom is back in an electrifying new mystery.

A lawyer calls Dek with a fast, seven-hundred dollar proposition. A dead client named Dek to execute her will. No matter that Dek didn’t know the woman. No matter, too, that the woman’s estate was only worth a few hundred. Happens all the time, the lawyer said.

To Dek Elstrom, broke and huddling in a cold stone turret in the middle of February, the sound of seven hundred falling down his chimney is louder than his voice of reason. He agrees, heads up to a hamlet ten miles north of nowhere. But instead of finding an easy-to-close estate, he finds blood and the markers of a shattered life. And something worse: links to the darkest part of his own past. He races to chase down leads to the killer, and his own ghost…before the dead woman is killed again.”

My Review: I began with laughs, continued with chuckles, snickers, and smirks, then trailed off into arched eyebrows, muttered instructions, exasperated ejaculations, and ended in irked silence.

That is NOT the trajectory an author or a reader wants. This reader planned a vituperative dissection of the failings of the book as he went along his ever-less-merry way, honing a few choice witticisms to a rusty, blunt jaggedness.

Why? Why was I, the reader most tolerant and understanding, the beau ideal of sweet-temperedness and kindly generosity...stop making those horrible sounds, people will think you're choking...suddenly transformed into a whole nestful of hornets in a really bad mood? Because, dammit, I was HAD. Things were set up in the first pages of the mystery that weren't delivered on, and things ANY IDIOT not even a P.I., with more than a week's work experience anyway, would think to ask went unasked, and then, please dear goddesses let me type this without screaming in fury again, THEN I will have you know, the writer uses FLIPPIN' FLASHBACKS to tell us the sad sad tale of Longago, and holy maloley does that bring this shitwagon to a sloshing, urpsome halt in its mysterious progress.

Leave aside that I knew who the killer was around p5. I expect that. I been treadin' this footpath longer than mosta y'all been alive. A mysterian who can surprise or, even better, confound me gets five stars and whole freakin' operas of praise. So no, I don't expect to need to work too hard. I don't read mysteries for the puzzle-solving pleasure, but for the orderliness, the justice that is done, and the way the story is told.

But COME ON!!! This sleuth, Dek Elstrom, is given a build-up as a wildly successful investigator, and he fails to ask ANY BACKGROUND QUESTIONS ABOUT HIS CONTACTS?! Oh. Please. I don't care that he's given a fee up front (which, later, becomes another sticking point and a large logical lapse). Any, and I mean any, investigator would look at his sources pretty carefully.

In the normal course of events, then, this review would be a flame job out of literary, well, failure to launch shall we euphemize. It isn't, well not too much of one, for one reason and one reason only: Dek says, when served hot tea in a daisy-patterned cup, is asked, “How does your tea taste?” (There's a reason for that specific locution, but it's a little spoilery, so go with me here.) “Like a funeral home smells,” replies Dek.

Yes. Exactly. One entire star restored for putting your finger on the nub of something I've wanted to find words for for a long time.

Would I recommend the series, of which this is volume 2, with a third volume (Hunting Sweetie Rose)out this year? Not so much. The writing, apart from the genius moment above, is amusing, and consistently easy on the eyes; the plot is for poo; the net effect is ~meh~ minus, but some days that's okay. It's not a flee flee for your lives dear goddesses what are you still doing here run away kind of a book. It's not a sit here right here dammit and read this and love it kind of a book. It's just a barely adequate midlist means of wiling away a few hours. And as I've said, that can be enough for anyone some days.

I guess today was one of mine. ( )

I was introduced to this author and book when it was excerpted on www.dearreader.com. It's beginning was breezy, and I was looking for a mystery that was fast and fun. Honestly, Dearest, You're Dead has humor, and is thoroughly enjoyable but it was rather more serious than the title indicates.. Dek Elstrom is a down and out private eye, barely subsisting after a lot of hard luck. He's called from his turrent home (wherein lies a story) in a Chicago suburb to Michigan to be executor of a modest will for a modest price ($700) but he's pretty desperate. The story that unfolds is poignant, if occasionally predictable, and involves murders of course. I like the writer's style --Fredrickson is compared to Robert B. Parker (who died yesterday; I'm glad to find someone else writing in even vaguely similar style), with its buddies theme, lots of dialogue and some good repartee, its scruffy but ethical detective, his complicated on-again-off-again marriage, and deep dipping into his past...past love and past guilt. The book is really more about Dek than crime. I found it a thoroughly enjoyable read, and will check out the next installment for sure. ( )

I’ve got three books for your summer reading pleasure. They are made for either lying on the hammock in the back yard or on a towel at the beach. The first one is Royal Flush by Rhys Bowen. It is the amusing story of Lady Georgiana (Georgie), thirty-fourth in line for the throne of England. It is set in the early 19th century when Mrs. Simpson and the Prince of Wales were scandalizing society with their affair. Being thirty-fourth in line to the throne and the sister of a land-poor Earl and his penny-pinching wife who tells her that they can’t afford to continue supporting her, Georgie finds herself in London, living alone (unheard of for a young lady of society) in the family home. Quickly tiring of fending for herself and existing on tea and biscuits, she goes in search of a job. There isn’t much opportunity for a lady trained only in the social skills, so she decides to make a niche for herself using those very talents. She has an opportunity to observe that there were many visiting businessmen alone in London and was sure that she could earn a living by offering her services as an intelligent, educated escort. Was it her fault that people misinterpreted her ad? Scotland Yard uses this as an excuse to get her involved in the investigation of a possible plot to kill the heirs to the throne. Her job is to go to Scotland with the Prince’s court and ascertain whether or not this could be an insider plot. Could her on-again, off-again male friend Darcy be involved? Who could possibly benefit from eliminating all of the heirs? It’s a conundrum that Georgie must solve before anyone is killed.
The second book is Knock Out by Catherine Coulter. This is a continuation of her FBI series with husband and wife team Savich and Sherlock. If your description of a really good book includes words like “eerie” or “weird” or “spooky,” and you are really interested in the supernatural, then this book is for you. Savich gets a call in the middle of night--not a “phone” call, but a “psychic” call. A young girl comes to him in his mind and they carry on a conversation. Yep, they have a psychic conversation. The girl is afraid and needs his help, but the connection fades as she tires, and he doesn’t get enough information to help her. While Savich is waiting to hear from her again, he and Sherlock are working on another case involving a crazed, serial-killing sixteen year old girl and her accomplice. Catherine Coulter has created another great novel with two plot lines, each with its exciting climax.
The third book, Honestly Dearest, You’re Dead by Jack Fredrickson is for those who enjoy reading about familiar places. It takes place in southwest lower Michigan, Chicago, and Iowa. Fredrickson vividly describes the area of West Haven (hmm, wonder where that might be), the drive to Iowa on I-80, and gives mention to Grand Rapids and Kalamazoo. Dek Elstrom, disgraced private detective, receives a call from a lawyer in West Haven informing him that a murdered woman has named him as the executor of her will. Dek has no idea who this woman is or why she chose him for the job, but he soon gets involved in finding out what happened to her. Finding out who killed her is fun, but seeing how he resolves it is even more fun.
These are three possibilities for the mystery lover. The best part is you don’t have to choose. You can get all of them for free right here at the library. Good reading! Reviewed by Sherry, Three Rivers Public Library.

Thus Dek Elstrom mystery still finds our down and out private eye living in and renovating his turret, while trying to outlast the Rivertown city hall on the zoning restrictions matter. Dek is called, out of the blue, by a lawyer in Michigan. He's been named executor of a will for a woman he's never heard of, one Louise Thomas. He heads to MI with thoughts of the $700 he'll make, where he discovers on site that Louise just hasn't died, but was murdered. The discovery of an old Underwood typewriter at the cabin brings up memories of the old days and winds up being a integral part of solving the mystery. ( )

I wanted to like this, but it was not a page turner. I rarely do this, but I jumped to the last chapter to find out the end. Even then, I didn't care. ( )