This is a true story, the story of one woman's experiences. Julie Metz's husband died suddenly in his forties and Julie overnight became a single mother with a young daughter to bring up. It is then that things go from bad to worse as Julie discovers that her husband had been involved in affairs with a string of women, one of them a good friend of hers. This discovery caused her to search beneath and find out more about the husband she thought she knew and the other women he had relationships with all of whom she contacted to find out their side of the story. And once she has come to terms with all that has happened the book is the story of her search for a new identity and new meaning in life but no longer a search for perfection. ( )

Geez Louise. When I read the blurb of this book (it's a memoir of a woman who, after her husband's sudden death, discovers that he was a serial cheater), I thought, "Huh. She has a six year old daughter, who will one day read this book. Not very nice for little Liza. Odd choice for Mommy to make." But it was on sale, 20% off, and it exercised a horrid fascination for me, so I bought it. And read it.

In this book, Julie Metz logs, in great detail: her fights with her husband. Her sexual adventures (including sex with a married man) before marrying Henry. Henry's affairs, including graphic email exchanges. Her shrieking rants to the Other Women. Her (pretty yucky) sexual relationships after Henry dies, all unhidden from her confused and grieving daughter. Her ugly attitude toward the small daughter of Henry's longest-running affair (formerly her daughter's best friend). Her deeply selfish and self-indulgent mothering choices, including sharing her daughter's bed whenever she had no sexual partner. And last, but by no means least, her spiteful and patronizing attitude toward friends who (unbelievably) supported her through this ordeal. Julie Metz is loyal to no one but Julie Metz.

You know what? I'm gonna say it: I JUDGE HER. In my considered opinion, Julie got the husband she deserved, because she is not a good person. But the book is sort of creepily fascinating, in the same way tabloids are - and I feel about the same amount of embarrassment for having bought it that I would have felt for buying National Enquirer. ( )

Found myself quite irritated with this book but not quite able to explain why. Metz discovered all her husband's affairs after he died, and proceeded to contact all the women (nuts, in my opinion). Then she told her little daughter she could no longer play with her best friend, the daughter of one of the women (cruel, in my opinion). Then she proceeded to have a series of affairs herself, which she described in boring detail (way too much information). Then she tells her daughter about her father's affairs! I was skimming by the end. ( )

Friends, reviewing a book does not mean you have to give the entire story 'away'. Some of you go into way too much detail leaving the potential reader with no reason to even bother. This is too much like Cliff's Notes!

Julie Metz's "Perfection" is a memoir of the time in her life immediately after her husband Henry's death. A few months after being rocked by Henry's sudden death, Julie discovers something even more earth shattering--that Henry had carried out a number of affairs, including a long term affair with one of Julie's friends. As Julie unravels the secrets surrounding Henry's infidelity, she must come to terms with what this means for the lives of her and her daughter and decide how she will go on living.

This book is catharsis as memoir. The emotions in this memoir are raw, rich, and at times, painful to read. Metz does not hide any of herself from her reader, and you can see the characteristic 12 steps of grief as she recovers from the dual blows of losing her husband and then losing his memory. I found her emotional response moving, but only to a point, and then the memoir seems to shift into self pity. As the self pity begins, I just wanted to shake Metz and tell her to look at all of the good things she has in her life. Ultimately she realizes this herself and moves on, which gives the memoir an uplifting, you-can-overcome tone at its end.

I thought this was one of the more interesting memoirs I've read. I would caution readers that this is an emotional work and it may be too much for you if you are sensitive about the subject matter. ( )