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The Happiest Toddler on the Block: The New Way to Stop the Daily Battle of Wills and Raise a Secure and Well-Behaved One by Harvey Karp
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The Happiest Toddler on the Block: The New Way to Stop the Daily Battle of…

by Harvey Karp

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Karp's follow-up to The Happiest Baby on the Block offers very practical advice to parents for dealing with the toddler years of 1 to 4 years old. I think it's an even better book partly because it avoids the "infomercial style" of writing and is a more practical manual. The basic gist of the book is that when a child starts to throw a tantrum the parent should acknowledge what is upsetting by repeating back it back ("the fast food rule") and to use a simple vocabulary of words called "toddlerese" that toddlers will understand most when they are upset. This book doesn't have all the answers, for example, what to say to your son when you have no idea what is making him upset. Overall though I found it a book with useful advice and practically organized. ( )
  Othemts | Nov 5, 2009 |
Tactics to reduce tantrums and improve toddler behavior. Not all winners (I tried, I just can't "growl" at my child) but enough good ones to make this book worthwhile. ( )
  justjill | Oct 13, 2009 |
If I followed the directives in this book people would think I was crazy. "Cookie! Cookie! Baby wants a cookie! You can't have a cookie. You can have a carrot." Stupid stuff like that. If I heard a woman in the Safeway talking like that I'd think she'd lost her nut.

And suggesting that we clap loudly and growl? Are you kidding me? ( )
  fleagirl | Jun 28, 2009 |
Review of The Happiest Baby on the Block and The Happiest Toddler on the Block.

Karp "discovered" the toddler approach. He "discovered" the infant calming reflex. Oh please! He named things (rocking babies, swaddling, saying shush; talking to toddlers on their level) and made a brand. I might note that his claims to have "discovered" what has been known and practiced by most of the world for most of human history eerily echo the claims of many other "discoverers" of lands and knowledge possessed only by natives, women, and other non-important people.

Oh, and also? In Happiest Toddler his whole premise is based on the idea that "toddlers are little cavepeople", and he has articulated it by assigning stages of human evolution to stages of infancy. This, he tells us, is based on the scientific principle that "ontogeny recapitulates phylogeny" -- apparently, his genius was to see that toddlers are still developing! So they are ontologizing too! or something. Anyway Haeckel's recapitulation theory is wrong. It seems intuitive to people first learning about development and/or evolution, but it was refuted numerous times in the 20th century. One would have hoped that in the years Karp claims to have spent researching anthropology, biology, and so forth, he would have come across some of the literature actually discussing why it was wrong, and why educational vogues based on these ideas a hundred years ago are also wrong.

And his artfully posed author picture kills me.

Never mind. If you can get beyond the lame theorizing, and the pompous gasbaggery (carefully disguised in a patronizingly playful tone), and the painful politics of white male professionals claiming to have "discovered" historical parenting techniques -- if you can get past all that, then there are some nuggets in the books. For the most part these nuggets can be garnered by skimming through the book in half an hour. The videos are more useful, as they show actual parent-child interactions.

In summary: Check out of the library; do not buy. ( )
1 vote lquilter | Jun 5, 2009 |
Wasn’t crazy about it. Seemed very manipulative. ( )
1 vote sarahtar | Aug 18, 2006 |
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Amazon.com Product Description (ISBN 0553802569, Hardcover)

Toddlers can drive you bonkers…so adorable and fun one minute…so stubborn and demanding the next! Yet, as unbelievable as it sounds, there is a way to turn the daily stream of “nos” and “don’ts” into “yeses” and hugs…if you know how to speak your toddler’s language. In one of the most useful advances in parenting techniques of the past twenty-five years, Dr. Karp reveals that toddlers, with their immature brains and stormy outbursts, should be thought of not as pint-size people but as pintsize…cavemen. Having noticed that the usual techniques often failed to calm crying toddlers, Dr. Karp discovered that the key to effective communication was to speak to them in their own primitive language. When he did, suddenly he was able to soothe their outbursts almost every time! This amazing success led him to the realization that children between the ages of one and four go through four stages of “evolutionary” growth, each linked to the development of the brain, and each echoing a step in prehistoric humankind’s journey to civilization:• The “Charming Chimp-Child” (12 to 18 months): Wobbles around on two legs, grabs everything in reach, plays a nonstop game of “monkey see monkey do.”• The “Knee-High Neanderthal” (18 to 24 months): Strong-willed, fun-loving, messy, with a vocabulary of about thirty words, the favorites being “no” and “mine.”• The “Clever Caveman” (24 to 36 months): Just beginning to learn how to share, make friends, take turns, and use the potty.• The “Versatile Villager” (36 to 48 months): Loves to tell stories, sing songs and dance, while trying hard to behave.To speak to these children, Dr. Karp has developed two extraordinarily effective techniques:1) The “fast food” rule — restating what your child has said to make sure you got it right;2) The four-step rule — using gesture, repetition, simplicity, and tone to help your irate Stone-Ager be happy again.Once you’ve mastered “toddler-ese,” you will be ready to apply behavioral techniques specific to each stage of your child’s development, such as teaching patience and calm, doing time-outs (and time-ins), praise through “gossiping,” and many other strategies. Then all the major challenges of the toddler years — including separation anxiety, sibling rivalry, toilet training, night fears, sleep problems, picky eating, biting and hitting, medicine taking — can be handled in a way that will make your toddler feel understood. The result: fewer tantrums, less yelling, and, best of all, more happy, loving time for you and your child.

(retrieved from Amazon Thu, 07 Jan 2010 15:13:19 -0500)

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