A journalist/lesbian becomes a man for a year to see what it's like to be a man, and what men are like when women aren't around (pretty scary sometimes). The chapters where men and women are most different were the most interesting, e.g. when she went to strip clubs (pretty horrifying and misogynistic) and dated women. At the end it got to her, and she became psychologically screwed up as a result (I actually read this book because I saw her latest book, about being in a mental hospital, in the library and decided I'd read about what screwed her up first). All in all, except for the few chapters that fell a bit flat, like the monastery and sales job chapters, this was a fascinating frightening tour through the male psyche. No wonder she cracked. ( )

Chose this for my bookgroup a while back. I was intrigued but worried how the group would react to it. It was interesting and everyone thought the same but the overall concensus was that the vulgarity of it detracted from a great story. It was an interesting exercise in the human condition but Norah Vincent took it down to a level it did not need to go. I thought it was a brave endeavour and was so interested in reading this book but I lost track of it because of all the foul language that just was not necessary. ( )

Norah Vincent lived for 1 1/2 years the life of a man. In a drag costume she joined an all male bowling club, went to work in a high pressure sales job, dated women and even participated in a men's self-help group.

In "Self-Made Man" she shares what she discovered about the other sex while working under cover. This book was an entertaining and quick read although the insights gained weren't as deep as one could have hoped for.

However, Vincent manges to disprove her own thesis that men have easier and better lives all around. In the end the female reader will at least gain some understanding and sympathy for the male life experience. ( )

A fascinating story, if one approaches it as more of a travelogue. I don't agree with her broad generalizations of "women" or "feminine" versus "men" and "masculine," but her comparison between her as female and her as male, both in her perceptions and how she was perceived, made for a very interesting read. In the end, I feel I learned more about the author's view of herself and how she vies the different genders than I did about "manhood" or its many permutations. ( )

I first heard about Self-Made Man: One Woman’s Year Disguised as a Man by Norah Vincent via the xckd blag, and finding the concept intriguing I had to pick up a copy when I saw it available at CyberRead.

Norah Vincent decides to live as a man for more than a year. As Ned, she partakes in various male experiences like bonding with a bowling team, visiting strip clubs, going on dates, joining a men’s group, taking a sales job in a Glengarry Glen Ross-esque environment, and even joins a monastery for several weeks.

The book is a well-written and extremely engrossing account of her search for what it means to be a man. Though I don’t think Vincent could in any way truly become a man, I do think certain gender differences became more acutely visible to her, precisely because she isn’t male. A man couldn’t write Self-Made Man any more than a woman could write a book called Self-Made Woman.

Something that struck me about the book is how very brave Vincent was to do some of the things she did. She put herself in a wide variety of situations where she was completely out of her depth and which could have turned ugly fast had she been unlucky. Not only did she have the guts to get into those situations, and the skill to navigate them successfully, she also has the ability of eloquently describing how she felt at the time.

After reading Self-Made Man I realised just how tough life can be when you’re male, and was left with a profound sense of empathy towards men. If you are at all interested in how men and women think and interact with each other I suggest reading Self-Made Man, hopefully you’ll enjoy it as much as I did. I just wish Norah Vincent had more/better pictures of Ned available on her website. After reading so much about him I would have appreciated seeing him properly. ( )

I read this one after the book about mental institutions, even though this one was written first and its research, I think, was the motivator for the depression that lead to the psychiatry book. Certainly a lot of very male stereotypes are discussed in this book. I like to think of myself as at least a decently intuitive person, and just don't see those qualities in most of the guys I know. At least not to such a degree anyway. Though I guess this is the authors primary point :) -- that men behave differently around women than other men. Nonetheless, the book did make me think, especially about which of my behaviors are heavily influenced by being female. Made me want to act so damn acquiescent and flexible a heck of a lot less, for one. :) ( )

I understand the impetus behind Ms. Vincent's experiment--when I was 20 I used to be really curious about what men said and did when women weren't around. But I got over it. I think because I found out that I liked them better when they were behaving in a civilized manner as functional adult people. This aspect of male behavior degenerates considerably in the absence of women. ( )

http://tamaranth.blogspot.com/2009/02... ( )

I strolled past Self-Made Man on the bargain table at Border's for more than a month, wondering whether it would be intriguing or simply the vitriol of an angry woman. I am glad -- no, grateful -- that I finally picked it up. Norah Vincent, who is neither a transvestite nor transgendered, wants to know what's like to be man. With the help of a voice coach, a make-up artist, and a muscle-building work-out routine, she spends 18 months living as her alter-ego Ned. The results of her experience are a far better guide to the opposite sex than trite drivel like Men Are from Mars, Women Are from Venus.

Each chapter explores a facet of her male life: joining a men's bowling league, working, strip clubs, dating, living in a monastery and joining a men's support group. She enters each of these venues expecting to find a privileged world where men wield power, ridicule homosexuals and make racist jokes. Instead, the truth turns out to be much more complex. Of her dating experience, she writes:

"Women were very hard to please. They wanted me to be in control, big and strong both in spirit and in body, but also tender and vulnerable at the same time, subservient to their whims and bunny-soft...As much as these women wanted an in-control man, they wanted a man who was vulnerable to them, a man who would...open his doors, someone expressive, intuitive, attuned. This I was in spades, and I always got points for it, but feeling the pressure to be that other world-bestriding colossus at the same time made me feel very sympathetic toward heterosexual men...A man is expected to be modern, to treat women as equals in every respect, [but] he is often still expected to be traditional at the same time, to treat a lady like a lady, to lead the way and pick up the check."

Perhaps these things are common sense, but it was the first time I heard them articulated in such a clear-headed way. Part of what makes the book so fascinating is that the writer is a lesbian who is often called "butch" or "masculine." But, as a man, she is often perceived as "fag" by both male and female audiences. This is probably why she excels at considering each chapter from both a male and female perspective, and although some chapters are less insightful than others, the book made me reflect carefully on what I expect from the men in my life. I recommend this book to people of both sexes, both single and in relationships. Everyone could learn something from it. ( )

The book describes the author's experiences disguising herself as a man and living, working, and playing among men, as well as dating women. I found it particularly interesting that the author, a feminist lesbian, gained insight into and even sometimes felt, misogyny. I would recommend the book to women wanting to get an inside view from a perspective they can identify with of how men behave with each other and view women. ( )

http://gretchens-world.blogspot.com/2... ( )

An effective antidote for penis envy - Vincent makes it clear that her first prayer in the morning is thanking God for making her a woman, but then it probably always was so this is kind of a journey from A to A. It should be noted that she did her experiment in living as a man without testosterone, which is said by some TG people I have read to be transformative, and without formative socialization as a male. None of this is to take away from the book - she's a great observer and writer (the repetition quotient is higher than I would like but still lower than most contemporary nonfiction) and I would read her again on just about anything. And like David Foster Wallace, whom I'm reading at the same time, she really worries how she's treating the people she reports on, which is refreshing, a sort of exposed-wiring approach to the ethics of reported nonfiction. (Oct 2008)

Norah Vincent is a writer who decided to leave her job at a nationally syndicated newspaper to conduct her own sociological experiment on gender relations. The subject? Herself. She received voice coaching, make-up lessons and other training to learn how to look and act like a man. With her outward appearance transformed, Vincent embarked upon a journey throughout the different facets of manhood. She made friends, dated, worked, bonded and partied, all in a male guise. She dared to reside in a monastery, frequented crude strip bars and even joined a men's support group. Self-Made Man chronicles her experiences, relationships, and most importantly, her insights into the male psyche from a female perspective. The book offers a unique taste of what it is like to be a man and the contradictory messages men receive from women. Vincent explores the challenges that men face when they are expected to be brave and strong but are criticized for lacking sensitivity and emotional depth.
Vincent has written an interesting and thought-provoking novel. I can honestly say that I learned a lot from the book and as the reader discovers, so does Vincent herself. My only problem with the book is the way it is fragmented into different sections with little fluidity between the chapters, which causes a fair amount of repetition. I do recommend this book but beware of the choppy writing style. ( )

This book offended me in so many different ways. To begin with, her "study" was filled with so many flaws. I have a BA in Cultural Anthropology, and this is a good lesson in how not to do a social study. The most troubling part of it for me was the deception involved, especially when it came to dating. She didn't just go on a single date with a women, she let them get emotionally attached to her before she broke the news that she was actually a woman. Did she even take the emotional well-being of the women into consideration? The dating world for adults is hard enough. I had to stop reading when she decided to try to go to a monastery. At this point her study was beyond unethical and so flawed, that I didn't want to waste any more time. Besides that, it was making me so angry, I had to put it down for my own well-being.

If you decide to read this, just keep one thing in mind. These are not facts based on a real study. These are her opinions and her perceptions based on an unethical and flawed experiment. Keep in mind who she is; a white female lesbian, middle-classed (and yes, this does matter). All of her perceptions are seen through her eyes, not through the unbiased view of a completely neutral party. ( )

Norah Vincent spends about 18 months disguised as a man and this book is an "immersion journalism" account of that experience. As "Ned", the author joins a bowling league, dates women, spends time in a monastery and in a men's self-help group. Her insights are not, for the most part, earth shattering, but this first-person account brings a deeper understanding at a personal level than academic studies could ever portray. Especially interesting, I thought, was the price Norah utimately played for living a lie -- a "nervous breakdown" requiring psychiatric care.

Very honest book which provides a unique perspective on cultural expectations of both men and women. ( )

The author belabors every point in the book. How often and in how many ways do we need to hear about how degrading lap dances are? ( )

Not really realizing it, I delved into two gender books simultaneously. Halfway through Middlesex, I picked up Self-Made Man and learned more about gender and identity in the last two weeks than I had anticipated. Actually, Self-Made Man made the experiences of Middlesex's Calliope/Cal more real.

That aside, Self-Made Man is a real-life story about a woman who decides to disguise herself as a man for eighteen months in order to see life from the other side of the gender fence. What she found is that the grass is not always greener on the other side.

She joined a bowling league, dated women, went to strip clubs, stayed in a monastery, worked in sales, and joined a men's self-help group. Sometimes she eventually revealed herself, and sometimes she didn't. What surprised her the most through the journey was also the most refreshing: it is much more difficult to be a man than she thought it would be. In the end, her divided self had a breakdown, falling in under the weight of having two identities that could not easily coexist in only one human.

With eye-opening insights and lots of silent nods of agreement concerning the reconciliation of the perspectives of the sexes, Vincent was able to offer so much more to gender discussions and male insight than she ever expected. Rather than an easy existence, she found the male mind to be torn between primal desires and comfortable love, between emotional expressiveness and fulfilling society's expectations.

To exemplify, I quote her regarding the damage that "manhood" can evoke:

"In that sense my experience wasn't unique. Being a guy was just like that much of the time, a series of unrealistic, limiting, infuriating and depressing expectations constantly coming over the wire, and you just a dummy trying to act on the instructions. White manhood in America isn't the standard anymore by which women and all other minorities are being measured and found wanting, or at least it doesn't feel that way from the inside. It's just another set of marching orders, another stereotype to inhabit."

Vincent concludes that men and women may just be living in parallel worlds, alike in emotions but not allowed to express them in similar ways, each unable to be a complete person without social stigma; and men may be at a greater disadvantage because so much is expected of them - in their words, expressions, behaviors, reactions - that they must vigilantly suppress the very things that could lead to their healing.

She offers a unique, if not entirely authentic, perspective on manhood that is both honest and sympathetic. Maybe most men would not have written about this topic, but perhaps it took an outsider to see it so plainly and provocatively.

The following review came out of a request for my opinion after I posted it to my yearly reading challenge... I am just copying and pasting from there.

Self-Made Man was a pretty interesting book in many ways.

Personally, my favourite chapter was the chapter where "Ned" joined the bowling team and learned how adult males interacted with each other as well as with kids (there was a boy that often came to the bowling alley with them.) I found that to be very informative.

I'm a ftm who was additionally raised, effectively, without a Dad or any other male role models. I missed out on a lot of male-bonding, etc and have always felt like an outsider. I have spent the past several years trying to figure out why men did certain things. Recently, I had this experience with an older gentleman who really got me upset, but I still didn't know why he acted like that to me. The next day I started that book.

When I read that friendship chapter, his attitude made sense. It wasn't his fault that he was being "mean" to me because he wasn't. It was my lack of appropriate male socialization in childhood and he was trying to treat me like a son.

Norah never lets you forget that she identifies as a woman and that this is just a social experiment. I still think this is a very worthwhile book to consider reading especially if you know someone who might identify as gender-queer or ftm. ( )

This is an Amazon Kindle ebook, it is 4278 locations long.

Norah Vincent is a female journalist who lived as a man for 18 months and documented the experience. You can think of it as a kind of anthropological field study. She had a number of 'all male' experiences such as, joining a bowling league, a monastery and a men's support group. She also dated a number of women, and then came out to some of them.

The author provides a very keen insight into the male experience, and describes it in a way that only an outsider could. I think the book will be enlightening for both men and women. I thoroughly enjoyed it. ( )

Good book ( )

Interesting read and an account of how men behave that accepts that our behaviour is not about being womenlite. I was involved in men's consciousness raising groups back in the 70's when it was all the rage to say that all men were the enemy. It also linked to anti-discriminatory awareness that basically said if white middle class heterosexual male then shoot yourself now. I thought that was rubbish then as it ignores that you can acknowledge the need to change behaviour and then fight for change. She also sees this as nonsense and sees men as they are- flawed humans trying their best. And given the deceit and betrayal she has to go through, I think the men come out well

But it makes the usual mistake in these cases of assuming that USA working/middle class behaviour norms are universal behaviour norms. Think how the behaviour would have been like if say Italians or southern Asian. Most surveys say that north Europeans/Americans come out as the lowest level of verbal/physical contact between men ( )

One night, at the urging of a friend and because of her own curiosity, lesbian journalist Norah Vincent went out on the town in drag. She found it to be an enlightening and liberating experience. It was that night that inspired this book in which she passes as a "Ned" for eighteen months. Self-Made Man divides Ned's journey into eight chapters in mostly chronological order.

The first chapter, Getting Started, is just that. All the work that Vincent had to do to prepare: new hair cut, beard, weight-lifting. It also serves as a general introduction to the book and explains what the reader should, and shouldn't, expect to get out of it. She is very clear that this is her own personal experience and doesn't hold any illusions that her book will explain everything about every man (or woman, for that matter).

The real experiment takes place in chapters 2-7. In the chapters Friendship, Sex, and Love, Ned joins a men's bowling-league, frequents rather seedy strip-clubs, and dates women. The chapters Life, Work and Self follow Ned as he spends a retreat at a monastery, works as a door-to-door salesman, and participates in the Men's Movement. Vincent is honest about her feelings and doesn't hesitate to point out when her preconceived notions are proven false. She deliberately went for the extremes in searching out experiences for Ned, and tried to find situations that are normally closed to women (which of course limited her choices to some extent).

There's not too much happy here, either for Norah or the men she meets. In fact, she actually had to end her experiment earlier than she anticipated due to mental health concerns brought on by her passing as Ned. The last chapter, Journey's End describes this, her recovery, and what she ultimately learned from the experience. Although I read it for my book club, I've been meaning to read Self-Made Man for awhile now. I'm glad I did, even if it wasn't exactly what I was expecting.

Experiments in Reading ( )

Very enlightening. Seems like a passe premise, but has a lot of new and interesting things to say about social realities of men and women. ( )

My husband was the one to tell me about this book, after he'd read an article about the author's experiment in Time magazine. It has some amazing and valuable insight in how both sexes think, act, and react in our social world. I came away from the book feeling like my eyes were more open about how men feel/act/think, but more informed about my own sex as well. ( )

Having experimented with passing as a man myself, I started reading this book mainly for ideas about how to be better at it. However, what I found most valuable was Vincent's reportage on the current state of the gender wars from a sort-of-male perspective. One reviewer has already commented on the the problems feminists have dealing with men. I think Vincent provides a lot of first person insight into this issue. One caveat, this is truly one person's take on her experiences. There are more insightful books out there for people interested in things like what the men's movement is like and what life in a monestary is like. ( )