I was in therapy this summer briefly, but long enough for my therapist to recommend this book. I read through it and several times spotted some things that I do sometimes, but I can't say it was life changing. Mostly it reminded me that I need to be honest about my feelings and I need to set clear boundaries and stick to them. ( )

An incredibly helpful book, if used and not just read through, in restructuring relationships of all kinds into positive and healthy ones. Not so complicated as we might expect! ( )

Very good. Her book allowed me to apply some of her methods into practice for my household. I recommend this book to those who wish to work on their relationships with their love ones. ( )

This was a life-changing book for me. I randomly bought it from a used bookstore and it sat on my shelf for 1.5 years before I finally began reading it. I'd never heard of it before, and I really wasn't expecting much.

I was shocked to find how realistic and helpful this book was. Although I've been exposed to a ton of material on cognitive therapy, I have never seen such clarity in any of them. This is not just a book about anger ... it's a book about how to live. Sounds strange? Perhaps, but I'm not quite sure how else to describe it.

Unfortunately, the title does not do the book justice, and may scare away many who could potentially benefit from the concepts explored. This is certainly not a book only for women or only for those who have "issues" with anger.

Of course, merely reading the book will not change your life. One must actually incorporate the techniques into his/her life, and that's a slow and difficult process. Even if you're not ready for that change, skim through the book ... keep it in mind ...

I recommend this book to absolutely everyone. ( )

I came to read this book as someone who has a profound mistrust of anything, even vaguely, labelled as a 'self-help manual'. Having worked in a bookshop during the 1990's, when a great many books were published to apparently "help" men and women part with money to feel better about themselves, I was quite happy to fall into a cynical view on the validity of such writings.

In the case of this particular book I recant some of my diehard cynicism. If you have ever found yourself in a position where a disagreement or argument has seemingly come out of a previously amicable discussion, or you are entrenched in repeating the same argument over and over with someone you love, then this book could just be of help.

It's written in an easily understandable, case history, style and includes the basic principles of talking-based therapy (i.e. couples or family issues with a therapist/counsellor).

One of the few drawbacks is that for a U.K. reader unfamilar or resistant to this particular school of U.S therapy it can play into stereotypes. The written style doesn't translate well into what most people, in my experience, would naturally and easily say aloud. Verbally it would come across as artificial or insincere.

With that in mind: the book does explore very well the dynamics of how women, in a very generalised sense, relate to their own feelings of anger and how they demonstrate that to the people around them. It does indeed have an important point to make early on - which is anger does not have to be a frightening force to be contained in at every point. Some people might laugh at the thought that women in the 21st Century would cling to the idea that all feelings of anger are "bad" or "wrong", but depending on your background and experiences that can very much be the case.

That said it doesn't advocate letting the full force of anger out on any unsuspecting person in your vicinity. Instead the focus is on recognising when you are angry about something, finding what the root cause of that is and what you can do to be constructive and in control of it.

It isn't a quick fix, it won't set every relationship to rights and it doesn't mean that you can ignore a serious problem that would be better helped by going to seek professional guidance. But if you do think that you require another perspective because of a repetition that you can't seem to break, or that you want to understand what you think you are going through then reading 'The Dance of Anger' could help make a difference in the long term. ( )

Very helpful in seeing how I function in my relationships and in figuring out what is triggering my anger. Wish I'd read it sooner. I'm thinking I might have to buy this book. ( )

Lots of good stuff, but also lots of generalizing about "we women" that I could have done without. However, if you read it as gender neutral, all the advice seems to be spot on. ( )

A really good (though sometimes cheesy) look at relationships and how to change some of the patterns we find ourselves in within those relationships. Highly recommended. ( )

This is a great book for helping to unlock the reasons we hold onto anger, an emotion which is so, so damaging to our health and relationships. ( )

good on over-functioning and under-functioning and triangulating ( )

I have referred many people to this book over the years to help learn about basic systems theory. Most helpful. ( )