God of War

Oh, Kratos, what have they done to you? After all the hours I have spent playing your video games, and replaying your video games, and eagerly anticipating future video games, I feel as though I know you. While your methods were questionable, your pursuits were always honorable ones, your entreaty reasonable. Plus your blind fury, unquenchable blood thirst, uncontrollable rage, and your blatant disregard for anything barring your path made for very satisfying gameplay.

So what happened? What did they do? They created this haphazard novelization of your quest to slay the god of war, Ares; which stiffly recounts the events of the first video game. The major events are there; the battle with the hydra, the ruin of Athens, the search for Cronos, the Temple of Pandora, all that. They even added some extra goings on, Athena's reasoning for favoring you, why various gods decide to bless you with their powers, and other explanations for the events in the game. That's all fine and good, but...but it's not YOU.

You do not whisper prayers to the gods before a battle, you defy them. You do not rescue Greek soldiers, you're a Spartan. You're a machine, an uncaring one with only one goal, one reason for existing. That is you, and the Kratos found in these pages is not the Kratos I know. Where is the anger? Where is the defiant, insolent, bullheaded Spartan I know and love? He is not here.

What purpose, then, does this book serve? It would be an atrocity for someone to experience the God of War story for the first time through it, and those who have played the game will surely be disappointed. So why? It is nothing but a ruse, a way to cash in on the name of our favorite tragic hero, and a poor one at that. I heartily recommend avoiding the book unless you are desperate for a fresh dose of Kratos...and even then, I'd encourage resisting the craving. ( )