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Battle of the Network Zombies
by Mark Henry
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In Seattle's undead circles, populated by werewolves, devils, and rampaging yetis, Amanda Feral is one of the beautiful zombies. But to maintain her stylish rep, Amanda needs cash. The quickest way: appear on the reality show, American Minions, hosted by lecherous wood nymph Johnny Birch. Soon, Amanda moves in to "Minions Mansion," crowded with immortal fame whores. But even the 24/7 video cameras can't catch everything... When Johnny is found incinerated, Amanda channels her inner Miss Marple (minus the fugly cardigans) to find the culprit. Was it Hairy Sue, the white trash stripper yeti? Tanesha, the glamorous trannie werewolf? Angie, the Filipino vampire with a detachable head? Unveiling the killer in a heart-stopping finale won't just save the show from cancellation, it might just keep Amanda alive-or as close as a ghoul can get...