Think Twice (2010)

The biggest mystery in this book is not one of who-did-what or will-that-someone-get-her-comeuppance? The biggest mystery is one of IQ. How could so many purportedly intelligent or capable or trained minds have been so impossibly dumb?

*****WARNING: DANGER, WILL ROBINSON, PLOT SPOILERS APLENTY AHEAD*****

Brilliant and successful lawyer, “Bennie,” has a body to die for — and an an identical evil twin, Alice. Both women are so driven — Bennie in a “good” way and Alice in an “evil” way — that neither one has developed any close friendships with members of either gender. But Bennie has at least managed to accumulate $3 million in liquid assets. Apparently, evil doesn’t pay as well, since Alice has only got a few thousand from a sideline selling illegal drugs, a Toyota instead of a Lexus, and a gangster trying to kill her.

As the book opens, Alice has decided to solve her problems by burying Bennie alive, stealing her identity, and making off with all that cash that Bennie has so cleverly left lying around. Bennie walks right into a ruffie because even after having gotten Alice off a murder rap that involved her selling recreational drugs with a cop, Bennie is utterly clueless about the depths of her sister’s depravity.

Fortunately for Bennie, however, Alice doesn’t kill her. Bothered by the thought of seeing her “own face on a dead body,” Alice instead compassionately chooses to bury Bennie alive in a wooden box — I guess so that she can be bothered by the image of her own face gasping her last while trying to claw her way out of a coffin. It takes Bennie only three days, a _deus ex machina_ in the form of massive haying equipment, and a retarded wolf to escape from the box.

Meanwhile, Alice has appropriated Bennie’s car, house, password list, boyfriend, and business. She immediately begins schlepping Bennie’s moola into a Bahama-based bank, and develops a closer relationship with one of Bennie's legal minions than Bennie has ever managed.

Oh, did I mention Bennie’s dog, Bear? Bear is a “huge” dog who is subdued by a few kicks from Alice and a nudge down the cellar stairs. Alice arranges to have Bear put to sleep, but Bennie’s boyfriend-who-got-away-but-who’s-conveniently-back-now instead arranges for the dog to have risky surgery, which ultimately saves this utterly worthless watch dog.

You know, while reading this book, I spun a half dozen plots-that-never-existed about how various people in Bennie’s life suspected that something was up, only to realize that apparently, no, they were all absolutely as dumb as lumber.

The only one to suspect was a supposedly wildly successful junior member of the law firm whose business image involved dressing like Ronald McDonald and dying her hair to match. Are we surprised that no one listens to her? I’m haunted by the image of Ronald McDonald serving as my defense attorney.

Did I mention the frightening uber-witch from Italy? The fake super-strega with a British accent, Armani dresses, and designs on a junior law partner’s deaf and dumpy father? Did I mention that _she_ is the real hero of this story? The only one who can (magically, I guess) tell the difference between a psychopath and a tin-plated saint? The only one who can (magically, I guess) figure out where, geographically, this will all end up and show up just in time to keep our heroine from murdering her deserving evil twin?

Once Bennie is induced to abandon her I-guess-I’m-as-evil-as-you-are pose, she immediately morphs back into Wonder Woman, and all is forgiven as she resumes the reins of her empire.

Oh, and whatever happens to Alice? Given Bennie’s epiphany, Alice becomes so unimportant that the author never even bothers to wrap up that loose end. Saying that “she’s as good as dead already,” is apparently more than enough resolution for those of us who wade through to the end.

Here’s the one good thing I can say about this book — and it is actually a very good thing — I started the book last night and stayed up all night to finish it. So, it does grab and hold one’s attention, even if much of that attention is devoted to spinning alternate plots or marveling at the Munchkin-like size of the cast’s communal IQ.

To be fair to the author, she obviously spent some mental effort on backstory and motivations. It’s just that she either missed or ignored the huge amount of stupidity required to get this plot to work.

For reasons of full disclosure, please note that I won this book in a Goodreads giveaway. ( )

Absolutely a grabber, this book is!! Ms. Scottoline has written a heartwrenching, mind gripping, thriller in "Think Twice"-a story that is realistic about twins who are as different as night and day-but are they really that different? Only the reader will be able to tell. The story keeps you interested without letting you down at all. The ending was interesting, but is there a "sequel" in the works? Could very well be!! ( )

Wow, great read. Just goes to show people that family isn't always the one who will save you. Another great book from Lisa Scottoline ( )

I love Lisa Scottoline! ( )

A friend lent me this book to read and I really enjoyed it. Could quite possiably see how this could happen in real life if you have a twin. Fast reading because of the short chapters. ( )