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She Looks Just Like You: A Memoir of…

She Looks Just Like You: A Memoir of (Nonbiological Lesbian) Motherhood

by Amie Klempnauer Miller

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This book provides an interesting perspective on lesbian motherhood: that of the non-biological mother, which I've never read about before. The author's style is a bit inconsistent; sometimes I find it really engaging, but sometimes it feels rather dry, and there were times when I found myself skimming passages.

Ms. Klempnauer Miller is very honest about her journey into motherhood. After struggling with infertility, it is her partner who becomes pregnant (on the first try, no less), so she feels like something of an outsider. She discusses her fears (if she'll feel like a "second" or inferior mother, if she'll be able to love the child as if she had given birth to her, etc, etc) and her relationship woes (parenthood changes many things) with refreshing candor, giving voice to feelings and thoughts that I'm sure she's not alone in experiencing.

It's definitely an interesting read, and I would recommend this book. ( )
1 vote schatzi | Nov 10, 2010 |
I enjoyed this memoir quite a bit. Amie Klempnauer Miller writes with honesty and tenderness about her relationship with her partner, Jane, their decision to have a baby, and the arrival and infancy of their daughter, Hannah. For me, this book was a lovely affirmation that families can come in all shapes and sizes, and the relationship between the three of them is beautifully depicted. Sometimes the writing can be a bit dry and overly analytical, but it really is a good read. Recommended not just for LGBT individuals and allies, but also for those who are looking to expand their understanding of what makes a family and be more open and accepting of loving, nontraditional families. Three and a half stars. ( )
1 vote allthesedarnbooks | Jun 25, 2010 |
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Amazon.com Product Description (ISBN 0807004693, Hardcover)

After ten years of talking about children, two years of trying (and failing) to conceive, and one shot of donor sperm for her partner, Amie Miller was about to become a mother. Or something like that.

Over the next nine months, as her partner became the biological mom-to-be, Miller became . . . what? Mommy's little helper? A faux dad?

As a midwestern, station wagon-driving, stay-at-home mom—and as a nonbiological lesbian mother—Miller both defines and defies the norm. Like new parents everywhere, she wrestled with the anxieties and challenges of first-time parenthood-including neurotic convictions that her child was chronically ill and the muddled confusion of sleeplessness. But unlike most mothers, she experienced pregnancy and birth only vicariously. Unlike biological parents, she had to stand before a judge to adopt her own daughter. And unlike most straight parents, she wondered how to respond when strangers gushed, "I bet Daddy's proud," or "She has your eyes."

Miller began searching for a role that would fit her experience, somewhere in the unexplored zone between mother and father, gay and straight. Sometimes she felt like a dad in drag, other times like a lesbian June Cleaver. Through it all, she and her partner became something new—even as the presence of a baby rattled the bones of their eighteen-year relationship.

Part love story, part comedy, part quest, Miller's candid and often humorous memoir is a much-needed cultural roadmap to what it means to become a parent, even when the usual categories do not fit.

(retrieved from Amazon Thu, 12 Mar 2015 18:00:45 -0400)

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Amie Miller chronicles her experiences as a nonbiological lesbian mother, discussing the challenges and anxieties she faced as her life partner got pregnant, carried their child, and delivered and sharing how she is defying the traditional rules of motherhood.… (more)

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Beacon Press

An edition of this book was published by Beacon Press.

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