Melissa Rosenberg

C (Indifferent).

Vampires and werewolves prepare for a battle.

This movie completely misses the character arcs of the book, to the point where I had to write a new synopsis because What The Book Is About didn't happen here. What's left is teenagers whining about their feelings for no compelling reason. Typical Hollywood get-every-scene-on-screen-in-some-form-and-call-it-good approach to book adaptations - no style, no emotion, and no self awareness.

(Mar. 2025)

This film adaptation stays relatively close to the book - so much so that it captures the book's inept handling of real relationships and its dragging plot. After getting a paper cut on her 18th birthday, and nearly getting killed by Jasper Cullen in reaction, Bella finds herself dumped by her vampire lover, Edward Cullen. For months, Bella becomes a shell of herself, only "waking up" when she renews her friendship with her childhood friend, Jacob Black. Together, they go on crazy, show more adrenaline-inducing jaunts that help her imagine Edward is still watching over her. However, when Bella discovers that Jacob is a werewolf, a mortal enemy of vampires, her relationship with Jacob and Edward is called into question. This is further compounded when Alice, Edwards future-seeing sister, sees Bella cliff-diving, which Edward misinterprets as Bella offing herself. Edward goes to the powerful Volturi to beg for them to kill him too, but in the end, Bella saves him, but at a price - she must become a vampire too, or the Volturi will kill her for knowing too many of the vampires' secrets. Aside from a few practical changes to the original story, the movie stays true to Meyer's original plot. The movie drags, and the actors sound forced in their relationships with one another - which is probably due to the forced feeling of the relationships in the novel. The special effects, settings, and props look better than the first movie. However, the blockbuster nature of the movie, popularity of the books, and the sugared-down love depicted in it are sure draws for teens. show less

A private eye has super powers.

There isn't enough story for more than three or four episodes. Most of the season is spent running in circles, repeating variations on the same plot points. And the ending has no payoff to justify the time spent getting there; it could just as easily have happened in episode three as in episode thirteen. And it's usually too dark to be fun. All that aside, it's a very well-made show. And the character has a lot of potential to be great - for instance, if they'd show more put her in a context where she's more of a contrast, rather than just surrounding her with more misery.

Concept: B
Story: C
Characters: B
Dialog: B
Pacing: D
Cinematography: C
Special effects/design: C
Acting: B
Music: C

Enjoyment: C plus

GPA: 2.3/4 show less

C+ (Okay).

A vampire's girlfriend gets dumped.

I mean, obviously don't go into this looking for Cinema. It's a soap opera.

(Feb. 2025)