Lewis Howes

By his own acknowledgement, Lewis Howes used to be 'egotistical' and a 'dumb jock'. Younger indeed, he claims having fully bought into the view that a man is first and foremost supposed to 'work hard, be tough, win at all costs, be aggressive, don't be emotional', a view which, obviously, has a strong propensity to lead to sadness, loneliness, addiction and depression (most of which he also experienced -hence this eureka moment of a book). I don't really know about that, because I didn't show more know him before reading this.

He is a professional athlete, and an entrepreneur and podcaster on success and how to be successful. As such, I am tempted to be warry and label this as specifically American (which I am not) and so relevant to non-Americans only to a certain extend. I am a white male too (and of the exact same age as he is, incidentally) yet, in Europe, where I grew up, we don't attach so much importance on physical prowess and sports, we don't have a 'jock' culture among our teens, and athleticism is not a feature to define manhood. I am aware of the toxic masculinity (the sexism, the homophobia, the bullying and other nasty behaviours found in locker rooms) pertaining to sports in Europe too (soccer especially) but not being an athlete and not belonging to a team doesn't make you less of a man. Another cultural difference was the emphasis on material gains. Again, where I grew up we don't judge people based on their wealth as much as in the USA, simply because in Europe we're not as consumerist, materialistic and obsessed with money as much as Americans are. It's not that the job you do or your social status doesn't matter (prejudices based on social classes exist, with white collars sneering at blue collars as much as blue collars sneer at white collars...) but these are not gendered issues -no one truly cares about what type of car you drive, or how many bathrooms you have, because we don't judge people by what they own.

Are such cultural differences an issue, though? Kind of, because these ('the Athlete Mask' and 'the Material Mask') were two features of toxic masculinity that he focuses on to reject them, but which never affected me. Will it be of any concern to you? This will depend on your cultural background, I guess...

Having said that, the other features he targets surely are on point. The bunting of emotions, sex, aggression, and, even, coping mechanisms such as humour (yes!), Lewis Howes dedicate a chapter to each trait, nuancing or debunking them by illustrating his point through his own personal experiences, and, interviewing relevant male personalities to get their views. As such, it can be a tat annoying, since he met all these personalities through his podcast (The School of Greatness) the whole end up reading like a subliminal advert for said podcast. It's relevant, but the pattern is repetitive, and, the fact this is structured like a self-help book doesn't help either. I, for example, had issues with the bullet points ending each chapters, smacking of cheap pop therapies which I personally find both corny and patronising (all these 'remember, you are a gift, and there is so much to celebrate about you', followed by common sense tips to women dealing with such trait in their man... please!).

All in all, 'The Mask of Masculinity' is a fair book. It relies on the personal experience of the author, which many men, I am sure, will relate to. In any case, and as far as I am concerned, when this wasn't the case it was more due to our differences in cultural backgrounds than stereotypes of any sort on his part. The male personalities he chose to interview are also relevant, and there's a lot to learn from their perspectives. Personally, I found the chapter about sex and how men are socialised to handle sexuality particularly engrossing, as many a clichés are blown apart, which is highly healthy! I recommend it for young men as much as for women. His constant referring to his podcast is surely annoying, as after a while it feels like self-promotion, but let's be forgiving -after all, it makes sense since this book is mostly based on such encounters. His self-help approach to conclude each chapter annoyed me a bit, but it doesn't undermines his point in any way, so I am willing to overlook it. In the end, then, here's a interesting book, simple to read, straightforward, showing us men that many traits we associate with what a man should be are not only self-destructive and destructive, but just make us toxic jerks. Here's a necessary reckoning: dude, please, drop whatever mask hold you back; it will make you a better person. show less

Basic good self help advice. How to be focused and improve your life through goal setting, positive habits, meditation, mentors etc. I've read it all before, but every now and then I need a quality reminder and this book fit the bill.

"Në një botë ku mbizotëron stërmundimi, stresi dhe ankthi, libri "Mendësia e madhështisë"

do t'u vijë në ndihmë lexuesve të lidhen me qëllimin e jetës, të gjejnë forcën e brendshme dhe të përdorin dhuntitë që kanë për të përmirësuar veten dhe bashkësinë ku jetojnë."

Lewis Howes is immensely successful and immensely remarkable human being who has his own podcast on the world wide web in which he interviews other immensely successful and immensely remarkable human beings, and asks them how, when, and where, they've managed to hit the target and reach the highest level of success imaginable. I was so happy to hear from a close friend of mine that he has written a book and put it on the shelves for the entire world to read, and I couldn't wait to see show more further into this man's thoughts and into this man's mind, because his posture and his confidence are what I myself am trying to uncover and discover, and what I am striving for. show less