Lisa Nikolidakis

This was tough. I seem to be drawn to memoirs by people with shitty parents lately so when I read the synopsis for this I was deep into it 15 minutes later and finished pretty fast.

It always feels weird rating/reviewing a memoir, as any criticism makes me feel like I'm personally attacking the author but luckily I don't have to for Nikolodakis. She writes beautifully and her story made my stomach churn, sometimes from disgust at what was happening to her, sometimes from recognition of that men's entitlement in my own surroundings.

My one gripe while reading was the description led me to think more would be revealed about her fathers's past and the Greece trip would be less drinking and more digging into the family history but maybe that's just me. In any case Lisa is a better person than me because I definitely would have told the truth about how the father died, but me being slightly annoyed about the lack of pettiness was quickly rectified by George and I feel like the little girl I desperately wanted to be safe from the beginning was left in good hands of the rest of her family.0… (more)

Fathers can sometimes present themselves to their children as a tyrannical lot, especially in abusive situations. Young ones can feel trapped in circumstances because they cannot escape their family, yet their circumstances are oppressive to their own personal growth. Coming to peace with their situation and themselves can consume years of early adulthood. Nikolidakis’ story embodies this storyline, yet as a thirty-something, a trip to Greece, her ancestral home, brought her a sense of peace and love that she never found in her American home.

Nikolidakis unfortunately experienced the worst sort of patriarchal family structure: abuse and oppression. Eventually, even her father’s death in unspeakable circumstances would haunt her the rest of her life. Yet she found a way – somehow – to overcome it. Over subsequent years, she has earned a PhD and become an English professor. Understanding how she transitioned from a vulnerable girl into a strong woman birthed the writing of this tale. In the end, a trip to Greece and specifically Crete, to her father’s hometown, brought her the beginnings of the closure that she craves.

Nikolidakis’ determination and perseverance can serve as an inspiration to younger girls in particular, but they can potentially inspire anyone who admires inner strength. The writing is engaging, though a bit dark. Readers have to be ready to engage with some of the worst that humanity has to offer. Yet this memoir ends in hope and concomitant healing.

I’m not sure that I’d recommend this book to anyone and everyone because it is so heavy. Readers looking forward to a light escape will not find that here. Nonetheless, people who like to deal with the harder edges around human nature can find much to appreciate. This is a story of being redeemed from a bad childhood, and that redemption is found in the third and final part. Navigating through the weeds of the first two parts is indeed difficult. Stories like this can remind me of how good I have it, despite any hardships that I might face.… (more)