Pajtim Statovci

The title 'Crossing' can refer to a crossing of gender or a crossing of countries. The author explores what it means to assume a certain gender or be an immigrant. In both cases, there is the struggle to be accepted and valued. In Bujar's case, he changes gender depending on what gets him acceptance. He even capitalizes on it in the singing program, thinking that it would get him to the final round. But he fails, which goes to show that substance matters. He cruelly borrows the identity of his girlfriend, Tanja, when participating in the singing program and abandons her when he fails to make the final. In doing so, he caused her suicide. We find out at the end of the book that this is not the first death he caused. Readers must have been wondering where Ajim is and we find out towards the end that Bujar accidentally pushed him into the waters (spoiler!). Bujar is not a very likable character but this is still an immensely readable book, providing rare insights into Albania and touching a sensitive topic.… (more)

This is the third of four books that I am reading for the FutureLearn course 'How to read a Novel' run by Edinburgh University alongside their James Tait Black Prize. It is not a book I would have picked up and read left to my own devices.

In 1995, Arsim a 22 year old Albanian, recently married, meets Miloš, a student doctor and a Serb, in a cafe and as the book says, their lives are never the same. Their love must be hidden, homosexuality is not tolerated, and so they repair to Miloš's small apartment where their it becomes a passionate and all-consuming affair. But timing is everything and Arsim's wife Ajshe becomes pregnant and war breaks out. The affair is cut short with Arsim and family leaving the country and Miloš joining up and fighting. The book then tells of the after effects of this desire and war and the long tail of trauma left in its wake. There is no going to therapy and moving on in this story. It must be lived through and this means that Arsim makes poor judgements about his activities and is imprisoned and returned to his home country and Miloš is interred in an institution like we used to see on TV where there is no stimulation for the children or adults who lie around on cots all day.

Wrapping around this story is Bolla, a mythical beast from Albania, who is the result of a union between a snake and God's daughter as payment for the snake leaving paradise. One day a year Bolla is allowed out of its cave, into the light where it plays, causes destruction and enjoys the sun, and then it slinks back for the rest of the year into darkness.

I really hated Arsim and his behaviours. In exile, he beat his wife and children and had sex with a child. He berated his wife constantly, she who was loyal and dutiful, who cooked and cleaned and raised his children and he never once thought about her, only himself and his desires. In a way, Ajshe was like Bolla in that she rarely saw the sunlight of their relationship.

"Bolla," said the Devil and allowed the sun to shine in through the mouth of the cave, to light his creation.

Then the girl felt sunlight for the first time, and it was beautiful.
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This is probably how Ajshe felt once Arsim had signed the divorce papers.

Arsim also 'rescues' Miloš from the institution full of thoughts about recovering their relationship only to find that Miloš is beyond his help and so he abandons him in his room he has rented and moves on to other rented accomodation. The rescue, I think, is one of the most selfish decisions Arsim makes, having no consideration as to how Miloš might be and how much care he might need. All he wants is his lover back.

Time moves on and so do things for Arsim. He goes back to university and finishes his course and gets a story published but for Miloš there is no moving on. He stays as he is, sitting out on the road, begging.

Miloš's story is told through a journal - it took me a while to realise it was Miloš's journal - and at the end he sees Bolla not as the destructive beast but someone who has one day of freedom, free to enjoy the daylight and others before going back into hiding for the rest of the year. It made me cry.

This is a story of desire, trauma, the after effects of trauma and asks us whether someone can go too far to be forgiven. The timing of this book with the war between Russia and Ukraine makes this not just a book about Kosovo and its people but a book about war in general. I shudder to think of this story being repeated for all of those people.… (more)

En lue kovinkaan paljon puhtaasti kaunokirjallista kirjallisuutta, joten en oikein osaa sitä myöskään arvioida. Tämä kirja on minulle jotain neljän ja viiden tähden väliltä.

Kuuntelin kirjan äänikirjana, minkä luulen osaltaan vaikuttaneen kokemukseeni. Etenkin alussa oli vähän haastavaa hahmottaa kuka oli kertojana milläkin aikajanalla, enkä noin muutenkaan yleensä ole suurin epäkronologisten tarinoiden ystävä. Lisäksi yleensä tarvitsen kirjassa ainakin yhden hahmon josta pidän, mikä on vähän haastavaa Bollan kohdalla.

Voikin siis sanoa, että jos jotain, on tämä kirja tunnetasolla haastava. Tiedän Kosovon sodasta vähän, vaikka etäisesti muistankin lapsuudesta viittauksia tilanteeseen (ja luonnollisesti lopulliset rauhanneuvottelut). Sodan varjo ja sen jättämät jäljet ovat ahdistavaa ja karua luettavaa ja tuovat ihmisyyden rumimman puolen lähelle. Hahmojen käytös ja ajatusmaailma myös hyvin heijastavat sitä, mitä sota ja sodan ympäröimänä eläminen ihmiselle tekee.

Kirjan suurin vaikutus on siinä, mitä kaikkea olisi voinut olla.

Vaikuttava kirja.… (more)

Growing up in the eighties in Albania is hard enough, but with the death of his father, Bujar's family spins apart. Bujar's best friend, Amir, has always known what he wanted and now he proposes that the two of them set out for Italy, where they will surely prosper and live their dreams. But reaching Italy isn't the solution it first seemed, and as he moves from country to country, he finds that being an Albanian migrant is a hinderance. He tries living as a man in Spain and as a woman in Germany, each time with disastrous results. New York is difficult, but maybe Finland will be more welcoming?

This is a novel that explores what being an outsider feels like, whether that of being a foreigner from an undesirable country or someone whose gender and sexuality fall outside of what is accepted, and is even criminalized in some places. The protagonist has to constantly reinvent himself, hoping with each move that he will finally find the acceptance he longs for. I found this novel to be thought-provoking and challenging.… (more)