Cynthia Zayn

Well, this book sums u what characteristics narcissistic lovers convey. My husband was diagnosed with this by our marriage counselor, but my husband (soon to be ex) would not receive this information. He is always right and the whole world is wrong. So he just isn't able to have insight or empathy.

That said, having several sections of stories of relationships with narcissistic partners was interesting but took up too much of the book.

Finally, what to do when you have such a relationship. Essentially nothing. It's impossible to get the narcissist to see himself in a true sense. A partner cannot make them see this. In my experience, no one, not even the world world can help them see this. Relationships are expendable.… (more)

Is your man (or woman) moody (like, Jekyll and Hyde moody) for no apparent reason?

Does he fly into a rage when you ask him simple questions?

Does he treat you badly and then disappear for days, only to reappear and act like nothing happened?

Does he (or she) say unbelievably hurtful things to you for no reason and when you tell him so, he says "you're overreacting" or "you're too emotional"?

Does he only keep his word when it applies to something he wants to do?

Do you feel confused, chaotic, and drained from being with him?

Chances are your man (or woman) is suffering from narcissistic personality disorder (NPD), a bona fide psychiatric disorder characterized in the American Psychiatric Association's bible, the DSM-IV. But don't take my word for it. Read Narcissistic Lovers by Cynthia Zayn and Kevin Dibble and see for yourself how your man compares to the many characteristics and examples in the book.

Narcissistic Lovers saved me from months of recovery after I was drained and discarded by an NPD after a 6-month involvement. I would say 6-month "relationship", but Zayn makes it very clear that one does not have a "relationship" with an NPD; it isn't possible. Ironically, the NPD even told me once that he wasn't trying to have a relationship with anybody (meaning me at the time). Of course, neither of us realized at the time that he was incapable of having a relationship with anyone anyway.

I read half a dozen self-help books on relationships before I finally came across Narcissistic Lovers. On every page I read the uncanny accuracy with which this book described my ex-boyfriend--the things he did and said, his habits and behaviors. It was as though the authors had eavesdropped on us. In Narcissistic Lovers, I found the truth and it set me free indeed.

It amazes me to see that even in the psychopathy of personality disorders, human beings are still creatures of habit. As nuts as the narcissist's behavior is, it is consistent from one narcissist to the next, whether the narcissist is male or female, regardless of economic, social, racial, or educational backgrounds. This is good news for those of us who have fallen victim to these predators; without consistency, their behavior couldn't be classified and we'd never know what hit us.

I highly recommend this book to anyone who was drained by a lover who did his evil and then simply waltzed off, leaving you to sweep up the dust of your desiccated self-esteem. Read this book, replenish, recover, and know that what ails the NPD wasn't your fault, although he no doubt blamed everything on you whenever you voiced any discontent.

Most books on narcissism focus on the narcissistic parent. If you were romantically involved with a narcissist, this book speaks directly to your pain. Make it your bible for recovery from the NPD and move on with your life. It should be recommended reading for anyone who dates these days, as narcissism is rampant in our culture and only appears to be getting worse. Get educated and protect yourself from these real-life vampires. Narcissistic Lovers also gives online support resources and a bibliography of books that address how to deal with your (perhaps) propensity for NPDs. Even if you trust your instincts and drop these losers the first time they harm you, you may find it fascinating (as I did) to learn about narcissism and the various other personality disorders that are on the rise.… (more)