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Illusions: The Adventures of a Reluctant Messiah by Richard Bach

Learning Tarot Reversals by Joan Bunning

Catching Fire by Suzanne Collins

Nicomachean Ethics by Aristotle

Surviving Schizophrenia, 6th Edition: A Family Manual by E. Fuller Torrey

The Unchangeable Spots of Leopards: A Novel by Kristopher Jansma

The Shack: Where Tragedy Confronts Eternity by William P. Young

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Member: smallself

CollectionsPaper Library (29), Nook (94), iPhone (2), Mostly before 1700 (31), Mostly 1700-1830 (5), Mostly 1830-1910 (18), Mostly 1910-1975 (20), Mostly after 1975 (59), Female lead (35), Male lead (98), Global (15), Africa (2), Asia/Pacific (10), North America/Australasia (64), Europe/Middle East (42), Islam (1), Shaman Way (1), Eastern Way (9), Postchristian/Eclectic Left (20), Judeo-Christian Left (9), Spiritual Center (8), Religious Right (4), Secular Left (6), Secular Center-Left (24), Secular Center (41), Secular Center-Right (7), Secular Right (3), Race/Gender I (white men) (77), Race/Gender II (white women) (33), Race/Gender III (colored men) (17), Race/Gender IV (colored women) (6), Chronology I (Pre-Victorian) (13), Chronology II (Victorian) (16), Chronology III (Post-Victorian) (22), Chronology IV (Contemporary) (82), Not owned (nook available) (8), Read Online (2), Secular (81), Spiritual (52), All collections (133)

Reviews103 reviews

Tagsnonfiction (75), ‘fiction’ (58), spiritual nonfiction (41), secular fiction (35), secular nonfiction (34), Western spirituality (21), elder lit (19), psychology (17), younger lit (16), true story (13) — see all tags

MediaBook (133), Paper Book (37), Ebook (95)

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About meWelcome to my book.

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The part cannot be understood without reference to the whole.

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“Prestige is good!”
“Prestige is Bad!!!”

“Ignore them.”

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The breadth of my reading is my attempt to engage with the world of ideas as a whole; my mostly audio affirmations trainings are my own personal ideas in practical form; my paid work is my life’s work in concrete and put into practice.

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Let me be more watchful over my faults, more willing to live in obscurity.

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Here on smallself I am authentically me.

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I’m actually very critical.

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“All that I want
Is to wake up fine
Tell me that I’m alright
That I ain’t gonna die.

All that I want
Is a hole in the ground
You can tell me when it’s alright
For me to come out.”

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I’m a good person of anxious turn of mind.

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I’m about as centrist as you can be, while still being a little weird, and not a Christian.

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I have been all things unholy.

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‘ “Ah, my father,” said the lady, “how happy you are, to love nothing on earth!”
“You are mistaken,” answered the monk; “I love all those who are in sorrow or suffering.” ‘

~ from “Legends and Romances of Brittany”

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I give over trying to Solve my contradictions.

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“When I counted up my demons
I found there was one for every day
But with the good ones on my shoulder
I drove the other ones away.”

There’s a lot of muck in us, but it doesn’t have to destroy you.

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The more I care about what this crazy world thinks of me, the less peace I have.

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Oftentimes details don’t really interest me. I like the big picture.

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I go to extremes, and into fantasies.

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It’s easy not to like things; it doesn’t demand much of you.

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Every random person should approve of me.

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“No matter how many other fish in the sea, it would be so empty without me.”

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“I want to feel your joy; I want to feel your pain.”

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“I chide society.” Emerson

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One of these days I’ll be able to explain everything without condemnation, no matter how little merit the thing may have.

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I try to replace the long angry reviews with short, calm ones—even if I know I’m “right” in all technicalities. [Actually I have to prune reviews for just general content reasons too.]

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I can always change it later—I could abandon my whole profile if I thought my opinions were consistently immature— but if I had said anything else, I wouldn’t have been honest.

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For me social media enables a process of self-observation; that’s my philosophy. And I think I’ve finally got over my juvenile delinquent habit of getting into arguments with people, so....

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I don’t like to argue, I’ve just never been good at small talk.

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I weep over my sins.

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I “do not seek to be undespised”.

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I was lost and now am found; I was dead, and now am alive.

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Classic Aquarius. More specifically: February 10 [Aquarius 3], 1989 (29), at 9:30 AM, in Princeton, NJ.

.... And let me tell you: life’s not easy for an Aquarius. “What are you, a weirdo or something?”

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Whenever I’m in pain, I know that’s the small self.

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‘“I can never make out what you mean by a prig,” said Rosamund.
“A fellow who wants to show that he has opinions.” [said Fred].
“Why, my dear, doctors must have opinions,” said Mrs. Vincy. “What are they there for else?”
“Yes, mother, the opinions they are paid for. But a prig is a fellow who is always making you a present of his opinions.”’

~ from “Middlemarch”

[“I know the answer, and I’m about to tell you”: don’t you hate that guy?]

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I like the skull for its universality. But I am a very serious person. Even when I did music and sitcoms, I analyzed them very seriously. I think the average person watches a sitcom and says, Wow, he’s just stupid. Like, the end. I look at it and say, No, there’s a reason why he did that.

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It’s been said before that the person who needs the least to have the attentions of people is the best off. But I posted things before when I was making much less sense than I do now, so now’s not the time to stop.... This is the full story.

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I like to read and I like to write, so I do both a lot, although sometimes I intentionally don’t read or put off reading something, or don’t write something if it’s just a random comment and not part of a larger question. At least compared to how I used to be. The scope of ‘me and my story’ doesn’t need to be maximized, especially since the little fragments accumulate over time anyway. The least I can do is not write down every little thing that’s “interesting”, no matter how uninstructive it might be.

About my librarySelf-negating prophecy:

This is the home of my separate self, my small self (*) which is separate from you, and cut off from the universe.

Self-fulfilling prophecy:

“I will see the earth as my body, and the air as my breath.”

(“Therefore, send not to know for whom the bell tolls. It tolls for thee.”)

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(*) The reason I use this phrase as my profile name is because I debated whether to create this page at all, fearing that it would be like creating a sort of ego mask for myself; later I decided to do this with this possibility in my awareness: thus the name.

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If I want to forget about a book, I delete it.

(I try to be inclusive of whatever I can, but I also try not to accumulate lots of angry reviews.)

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“Each young and ardent person writes a diary, in which, when the hours of prayer and penitence arrive, he inscribes his soul. The pages thus written are, to him, burning and fragrant: he reads them on his knees by midnight and by the morning star; he sets them with his tears; they are sacred.... After some time has elapsed, he begins to wish to admit his friend to this hallowed experience, and with hesitation, yet with firmness, exposes the pages to his eye. Will they not burn his eyes? The friend coldly turns them over, and passes from writing to conversation, with easy transition, which strikes the other party with astonishment and vexation. He cannot suspect the writing itself. Days and nights of fervid life, of communion with angels of darkness and of light, have engraved their shadowy characters on that tear-stained book. He suspects the intelligence or the heart of his friend. Is there then no friend? He cannot yet credit that one may have impressive experience, and yet may not know how to put his private fact into literature; and perhaps the discovery that wisdom has other tongues and ministers than we, that though we should hold our peace, the truth would not the less be spoken, might check injuriously the flames of our zeal.” Emerson

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“Whatever things are true.... think on these things.”

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I only catalog books I like, (2) and I only review the books I like the best, (1) so it's not really a complete catalog of my opinions, still less of every book I've ever bought or started. Specifically, it also only includes books I was at least part of the way through reading on the date of the creation of this page. I’ve learned the hard way that trying to create an exhaustive life reading list is a sure ticket to grief, if not insanity. (“Oh, there’s that book I hated reading again! Un-read, un-read!”)

It does not include books that I have not started reading, even if I’ve already paid for them in full. ;)

(1) Actually I've decided that I might review some of these others, even though I will only rate the books I like the best.

(2) Certainly nothing that's merely boring. Some books are so objectionable that reading them is a sort of exercise.

[Almost any book can be read profitably, unless it’s not a book in some way. The great thing is that even with a good book, the essential element is the space, the not-reading.]

{I don’t really rate books poorly, although there are certainly ones done poorly, and sometimes I’ll delete a book if I decide that I don’t like it. There are exceptions though, when I do have something to say about a disappointing book.}

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Memoir is going with fiction. [Fiction & Story, basically.] I'm not even going to bother to be correct about it, as though they were two different things.

Memoir is a good example, because it’s basically like a novel that really happened, but actually I’m going to put a couple of different, technically “nonfiction”, categories in with “fiction”, if their central aim is to tell a story, as opposed to what I call nonfiction proper, which is to speak about some topic or another. So I'm now putting fiction in quotes to underline the broad way I use the word.

{I’ve half a mind to call it “narrative” and “nonnarrative”.}
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Also, I only call it “history” if it’s the work of a historian; “primary sources” or whatever you want to call them, (unless it’s an ancient historian), are works on politics or whatever they’re about.

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The politics section is also broad and largely sociological.

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The categories interpenetrate each other. [In fact, often the dip into philosophy in a novel, or the teaching story in nonfiction, is more memorable than the rest.]

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My library reflects the various things that I like, which are various, but also the things which are and are to be found, since I desire to love all the things that are.

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Even fiction isn’t like real life; in a novel you are constantly learning what society would conceal, what people would lie about.

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Favorite authorsNot set

Account typepublic, free

URLs /profile/smallself (profile)
/catalog/smallself (library)

Member sinceJul 13, 2017

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