Jesus is coming on May 21, 2011, so saith the bus bench

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Jesus is coming on May 21, 2011, so saith the bus bench

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Jul 30, 2010, 5:25am

Jul 30, 2010, 5:41am

This prediction was made by Harold Camping, the same hack who told people the Rapture was going to take place back in 1994. I don't get why people still pay attention to this guy.

Jul 30, 2010, 6:02am

"I'm sure people in Noah's days thought he was crazy," says Exley.

Probably so.

Edited: Jul 30, 2010, 9:32pm

Plus the world is ending a few months later. I wonder if he'll convert to whatever you call ancient Mayan religion when it really ends in 2012?

ETFix stuff.

Jul 30, 2010, 4:15pm

This guy thinks he's smarter than a dead Mayan?

I don't think so. Those guys were NEVER wrong.

Jul 30, 2010, 4:24pm

But of that day and hour knoweth no man, no, not the angels of heaven, but my Father only.

Jul 30, 2010, 4:43pm

Thanks dude, for picking the day AFTER my birthday. I'd hate for you to ruin it.

Jul 30, 2010, 4:50pm

>7 majkia: lmao! That'll be one hell of a party though! May I suggest lots of booze and strippers in biblical costumes?

Jul 31, 2010, 12:55am

#2: I don't get why people still pay attention to this guy.

Probably because escapism sells, which is basically what all this end of the world mumbo jumbo really is, an escape from the everyday worries of jobs and mortgages.

Jul 31, 2010, 1:19am

Why worry about this life when you're promised an eternity in heaven?

Edited: Jul 31, 2010, 3:37am

#10: I don't think the promise of positive reward is the only way to create a sense of impending escape. Just the idea of life as you know it changing, for better or worse, can be compelling enough. Even indulging in the sense of there being greater problems than your own constitutes a form of escapism.

Jul 31, 2010, 3:53am

I, for one, welcome our new benimbused and bearded overlord!

Anyway, once the Rapture comes and all the believers are ascended into Heaven, the beaches won't be so crowded and I'll be able to get a seat on the train to work.

I've got my eye on a church down the road. It's got a nice high ceiling and lots of natural light. It'll make me a good photography studio once the godbotherers have left.

Jul 31, 2010, 4:31am

>12 justjim: HAHA!


Here's my theory. This Marie Exley didn't actually pay for these ads with her own money. She's a front.

You see, the major alcohol companies know that there will be tons of parties, and thus huge alcohol sales, on December, 20, 2012. However, that's a Thursday and still quite some time away. Solution? Create some new end-of-the-world threat to encourage drinking, only this time, have the doomsday land on a weekend.

So, with May 20th being a Friday, people will drink and party lots. Then when the world doesn't end, they'll party and drink even more on Saturday night.

My second theory is that this lady is just nutter butters.

Jul 31, 2010, 4:39am

Well, if the alcohol companies are going to lose all those communion wine sales, they will need to do something to pick up the business. Kosher wine sales probably won't be affected though.

Jul 31, 2010, 7:15pm

>13 dodger: "My second theory is that this lady is just nutter butters."

Nutter Butters are my favorite store-boughten cookie, I'll have you know, and I don't like the implication that I've been eating creme de crazy-filled cookies, especially when I only have a few months left to indulge. Couldn't you pick on Oreos, or those disgusting Mallomars?

Aug 1, 2010, 2:49am

Sorry, bubbles. Um...maybe that lady is just fruit loops. Is that better?

I shall now await word from Fruit Loops lovers.

Aug 1, 2010, 5:23am

I'm fine with that. Just don't start talking shit on my Coco Puffs.

Edited: Aug 1, 2010, 9:17am

THIS is THE info source for pretty much all end-of-the-world predictions:

Click on "To infinity and Beyond" and scroll to the bottom.

Edited: Aug 1, 2010, 6:26pm

I just found myself fantasizing about the knock-on effects of one of these 'prophets' being struck by lightning. Is that evil of me?

Yes, I know - I'm damned.

Aug 2, 2010, 10:04am

I dunno, the picture in the link says it is the return of Chris. I don't know who Chris is, but he's gotta be better than Christ.

Aug 6, 2010, 4:50am

May 21, 2011, Hmmm?

I always thought that the game of life was to - excuse me - piss away everything you had in anticipation of checking out and ending up with $zero. I had some random guilt about that, however, because of my wife and kids. Now that they're checking out as well, no problem.

Now, where is the nearest Porsche dealer?

I've also been trying to slim down, but what the heck. Let's go for the chocolate doughnuts, too.

Aug 6, 2010, 5:18am

I'm not splurging all my money. If I can't take it with me, I ain't goin'.

Aug 6, 2010, 5:26am

Does this mean I can take up smoking again?

Edited: Aug 6, 2010, 7:10am


Just because god hates you, there is no reason for you to hate you as well.©

Edited: Aug 6, 2010, 6:19am

#24 Just because god hates you, there is no reason for you to hate you as well.

Wonderful line, jj. I'd love to pinch that, but I don't know where (offline) I could use it without getting flak!

Aug 6, 2010, 7:11am

Please note the edit to #24. Licensing opportunities are available.

Aug 6, 2010, 8:14am

yeah, but 'he who dies with the most toys wins!'

Aug 6, 2010, 8:59am

Will what happens on May 21 count as dying, though?

Aug 6, 2010, 9:59am

It's #21 again...

Now you're getting me worried. Are they (the estimators of the end) using the usual, garden variety calendar? They do mean check out time, don't they? They DO KNOW FOR SURE what they're posting on benches, don't they? They're not sneaking a fast ball by me, are they?

Or, am I going to find out that I have all these things, no money for gas for the Porsche and my wife and kids are ticked at me? What's new about that? And, I can still sit in the Porsche and eat stale chocolate donuts.

#23... So, sure, smoking is okay - big, fat cigars are even better. Lead footed driving is just fine; tickets, who cares! Stuffing your face is wonderful. Promiscuity ala a certain golfer is just great (no cell or other messages though, you may not make 5/21/11). Living for the moment is just the thing!

Disclaimer: This is not legal advice, nor advice on how to live your life. You are on your own. I am (obviously) not responsible.

Aug 7, 2010, 1:07am

If its Christ the Prick that Fundamentalists portray, God help us all. However, if its actually the Christ of the Bible and mainstream Christianity, I think a certain group is going to be in for a VERY rude awakening.

Aug 7, 2010, 1:22am

I think that it speaks to my frame of mind that I only have the standard quantities of marshmallows and other flame-based necessities to hand.

Edited: Aug 7, 2010, 1:41am

I'm reminded of when Gabbo was coming...

Aug 7, 2010, 3:18am

#30: If it's the Christ of the Bible then fig trees had better take cover!

Aug 8, 2010, 10:47am

Aug 9, 2010, 2:20am

>34 Sandydog1:

Ha! Yeah. Wow, it's been years since I've seen that movie.

Aug 9, 2010, 7:53am

So it's okay if I book next year's holiday but not a god idea to pay for it yet?

Aug 9, 2010, 4:24pm

This guy says that the Mayans and the bible agree on 21 Dec. 2012. Now what are we supposed to think?

Aug 9, 2010, 6:10pm

My calendar, on the other hand, runs out on December 31, 2010. I plan to buy another!

Aug 10, 2010, 2:48pm

Actually the world already ended last year when my calendar ran out. All this is just hallucination.

Aug 10, 2010, 3:25pm

Oh, I figure as long as I don't touch the calendar, time won't run out. I've still got April 2008 hanging up over here.

Aug 11, 2010, 6:18am

#39 Helcura, how do you know that everything before that wasn't all in your mind as well - and all of the world around you and all the people in it?

Has it crossed your mind that you may be God (ma'am)?

Aug 11, 2010, 3:45pm

I'm sure I'm not God because the world isn't the way I want it to be. For one thing there wouldn't be any invisible pink unicorns, only pink ones and invisible ones.

I do occasionally toy with both solipsism and with the idea that we are all one being (God) who lives each individual life and then moves on to another in some order that has nothing to do with time.

If you go the multiverse route, then I'm God somewhere every time I write a novel or a short story, creating an actual universe in which my characters are real. If there were true justice in the universe (and I hope there isn't), then all writers would be reincarnated as their own characters.