A Game: Thread7

"It would seem that you have no useful skill or talent whatsoever" he said. "Have you thought of going into teaching?"

//Whoops, we normally let a thread go 200 or so posts before we start a new one. Never mind, let's all have a go at this one.//

Night Watch?

Sorry, you said it was my turn. I thought that was how it worked. Many apologies. And no, not night watch!

Yes, it is your turn and you're doing fine. You just didn't need to start Thread7 quite so soon.

The next number has certain, how shall we say, problems.

I know that I noted this quote particularly, since I consult with the state Department of Education.

Mort?

Yep, Mort it is! And I work in a school, which is why I noted it!

Woohoo. *leaves edit box open to run to the shelves*

It was really quite a short trip but one that ____ knew she would always remember, generally around three o'clock in the morning after eating rich food.

Susan Sto Helit?

We're looking for the title, not the name that was so crudely excised. Which isn't Susan.

Anybody?

A guess to move things along: Feet of Clay?

I'm afraid that I can neither confirm nor deny! I'm away from home at the moment. Check back in about seven hours. Other guessers, please continue.

Or possibly Thief of Time? (I'm thinking Nanny, having been taken off on midwife duties …)

That sounds promising as well! I honestly can't remember. On my way home now so check back in around 90 mins.

You are a big tease.

No, no, no, no, no...yes! On the final, but longest, leg now.

Home again, home again, thingumy thing.

As it turns out it is neither Feet of Clay nor Thief of Time!

Stupid double post!

A blanked out name eh? So is it a character who lacks the ubiquity that would make this a challenge? Let's have a stab at The Amazing Maurice and his Educated Rodents.

Oops, sorry. I thought I replied to this post days ago. Not Maurice, amazing as he is.

I couldn't quite follow the logic of your ubiquity question. It is a 'famous' character's name that has been excised. I try to avoid names in the quotes that I give, but this one couldn't be avoided.

(from the OP of the first game thread (Jan 19 2009):- "One person will write a paragraph from any Discworld book (blanking out any names) and then others have to guess which book it is from." Things have changed, you guys are too good to get a whole paragraph!)

Mort?

No, not Mort, although there are some scary trips in there.

A Hat Full of Sky?

Some scary trips there as well, but Tiffany is not the missing name.

This scary trip is on a broomstick.

Well, I thought so, but the older witches are pulled into A Hat Full of Sky and while I didn't think it would be Tiffany, I thought they might be involved.

When I re-read #23, I realised that I hadn't actually ruled out A Hat Full of Sky! It isn't that book. There is an older witch and a younger person involved though.

Witches Abroad?

Equal Rites?

ronincats has it! Equal Rites it is. Well done.

"It was said to be a wonder of the world, except that very few people around here ever wondered much about anything and were barely aware of the world.

It cost one penny to cross, or one hundred gold pieces if you had a billygoat.*"

Fifth Elephant? It sounds a lot like the Lancre Border Police.

No, no elephants involved!

ETA, er, other than tangentially as in supporting the Discworld. But not Fifth Elephant.

Wyrd Sisters?

Or is it Lords and Ladies? When the wizards came to Lancre, and Ridcully had to muffle the Bursar from saying the B word?

No, lords and ladies are not the main point of this book.

The troll bridge in Monstrous Regiment!

You got it, pwaites!! Congratulations!

The missing footnote?
"* Trolls might not be quick thinkers but they didn't forget in a hurry either."

Your turn.

"Of course, just because we've heard a spine-chilling, blood-curdling scream of the sort to make your very marrow freeze in your bones doesn't automatically mean there's anything wrong."

I know I've read that one recently. Lords and Ladies?

Not it. :)

Night Watch?

Not a watch book.

Not Watch, so maybe Wizards? Hogfather?

Not Wizards either...

Hogfather? In the Tooth Fairy's tower?

No, but you are on the right track.

Hellooo! Where is everyone? Joanna? Jim? Mrs. Lee? Caty? Ed?

It sounds like it may be a DEATH book. Reaper Man?

Hmm, lots of screaming? Perhaps some singing with arms raised protectively overhead? Maskerade?

Yes it is a Death book, but not Reaper Man.

If it's a death book ... how about Soul Music?

You got it!

"You use words, and I'm told you do it well, but words are soft and can be pummelled into different meanings by a skilled tongue."

Going Postal?

No, not Going Postal.

Wyrd Sisters?

The Times in Monstrous Regiment?

Not Wyrd Sisters or Monstrous Regiment either.

An obvious guess, so probably not right, but: The Truth?

'Probably not right' is right: sorry, but the quote is not from The Truth.

Definitely sounds like someone dealing with De Worde or von Lipwig - how about Making Money?

Maybe somebody talking to Mr Saveloy in Interesting Times?

edrandrew has it: the remark is addressed to Moist von Lipwig in Making Money.

It had a streange unreal heaviness - to his hand it felt like a pound or so, but in his head it weighed thousands of very, very small tons.

Small Gods?

Clearly I must try harder for the obscure bits. Small Gods it was.

"Thunder rolled across Unseen University. Rain poured over its roofs and gurgled out of its gargoyles, although one or two of the more cunning ones had scuttled off to shelter among the maze of tiles."

Night Watch?

I always love the passages about the gargoyles, but as usual, I don't remember which specific books they are in. :) I have gargoyles in my garden which I watch closely after having read of them in Pratchett books. Several have disappeared. I suspect cheap craftsmanship and deliquescence, but am open to other ideas.

Not Night Watch, sorry.

How about Jingo? I seem to recall quite a bit of rain there.

Thanks for trying (everyone seems to be busy with other things right now), but no, it isn't Jingo.

Happy Labor Day Weekend to all the US dwellers out there!

Just to keep things kicking, Guards! Guards!, but I have an idea we might be off track with the Guard books.

I think this has to be early, before gargoyles became more developed characters. The Colour of Magic?

(If posh vampires have become vampyres, have fancy gargoyles changed their names to gargoile?)

Getting warm, Jim!

itoldemitoldemitoldemthelightfantasticmilenniumhandandshrimp

AT last we have a winner!!!

Buggrit!

"Not a man to mince words. People, yes. But not words."

Night Watch?

You're thinking of Carcer, or perhaps of Lord Winder? I'm afraid it isn't Night Watch.

Going Postal?

Is it Mr Gryle that you're thinking of? A nasty piece of work, to be sure, but I'm not looking for Going Postal.

The Truth perhaps - it sounds a bit like De Worde senior.

No, he has people to do that for him. Not The Truth.

Feet of Clay I have my reasons, only, I'm so tired, or so aged, that I can't remember what they are.

Well the King Golem did try to do a number on several of the watchmen, but it isn't Feet of Clay.

Do remember that if you hear the dwarf battle-cry "T'dr'duzk b'hazg t't!" (Today Is A Good Day For Someone Else To Die!) it is a good time for you to be somewhere else.

Hint: This quote is said by a character in this book, but it really isn't about a major DW character at all. From what I can find out, he is only referenced in this very small passage in this one book. The character it is said about is from Tsort. The character saying it is a philosopher (but is not naked at the time).

The Fifth Elephant?

I don't recall any Philosophers in The Fifth Elephant. Note the upper-case 'P'. This guy is a pro, got the loofah and everything.

Not: Night Watch, Going Postal, The Truth, Feet of Clay, The Fifth Elephant...

Yeah, but there were lots of dwarves and trolls.

Doesn't Pyramids have Philosophers in Ephebe? Although, now that I think of it, we see rather more of the Philosophers in Small Gods because Omnia is going to war with them. So it is probably the latter rather than the former.

Thank heavens for your hints.

WooHoo! Take a towel out of petty cash.

Didactylos is telling Urn, Simony, Brutha and (unknowingly, the Great God Om) about Prince Lasgere of Tsort's abbreviated foray into higher learning.

Next please.

"It was an interesting ditch. There were jiggling corkscrew things in it which were direct descendants of things which had been in the primordial soup of creation. Anyone who thought that ditchwater was dull could have spent an instructive half-hour in that ditch with a powerful microscope."

I seem to recall that the ditch also contained Granny Weatherwax and Nanny Ogg - but where? Carpe Jugulum?

the ditch does not appear in carpe jugulum, sorry!

Come on, people! Ed was definitely on the right track.

I think the ditch also contained one Magrat. Possibly as she is being semi-courted by Verence in Wyrd Sisters?

Well, actually, only Granny Weatherwax actually ended up in the ditch.

"It also had nettles in it, and now it had Granny Weatherwax.

She struggled up through the weeds, incoherent with rage, and rose from the ditch like Venus Anadyomene, only older and with more duckweed."

Magrat dragged her into the ditch to avoid being run down by a cart, and Nanny Ogg ended up in a bush.

Go for it, Jim!

Mmm, not sure I deserve that one, I was sure Magrat ended up in the ditch by herself while doing here Ophelia impression.

However...

Slab: Jus' say "AarrghaarrghpleeassennononoUGH"

Feet of Clay?

Indeedy doo! Yer up!

I know this one is obvious but I just couldn't resist:

"What does a potato want a disguise for?"

Toy Story 2... No, wait...

LOL!

It may bare some similarities to Toy Story, but sadly that is not it.

I find a vision of badly disguised policemen drifting into view - Guards! Guards! perhaps?

Not Guards! Guards! but you are getting closer.

Men at Arms?

No, but you are closer still.

Thud!?

Think earlier.

The Mr Spuddy Face kit from the joke shop in Phedre Road! Jingo?

Yes!

Woo!

"... the Librarian wanted nothing more in the whole world than soft fruit, a regular supply of index cards and the opportunity, every month or so, to hop over the wall of the Patrician's private menagerie.*"

Extra bonus point for the footnote!

Sourcery I think - and I dare say the footnote will be about what he did there but it feels a bit like cheating to go hunting for the quotes.

Sourcery it is. Well done. Extra bonus point for doing it all from memory! The footnote is to the effect that nobody had the courage to ask the Librarian just what it was that he did in the Patrician's menagerie.

Your turn.

"Because I'm from a wonderfully warm-hearted city corporal... hah, no, I can't say that and keep a straight face."

Sounds like Vimes. Sounds like he's not in A-M. 50/50 chance then, and I'll probably get the wrong one. The Fifth Elephant?

Monstrous Regiment?

Right on all counts justjim - it is Vimes, he's not in AM and you did get the wrong one. The next go therefore goes to pwaites as it was indeed Monsterous Regiment.

On the Discworld - A one in a million chance comes up nine times out of ten.

For me, on the Roundworld - With a fifty/fifty chance, I'll get it wrong nine times out of ten.

Well done pwaites.

"After the stampede the artist Three Solid Frogs got to his feet, retrieved his brush from his nostril, pulled his easel out of a tree, and tried to think placid thoughts."

Interesting Times methinks - Three Solid Frogs sounds very Counterwait Continent.

I can't believe that one went so quickly! Interesting Times it is.

Ah, Three Solid Frogs, inventor of the Willow Pattern. Wikipedia ignores the facts again!

Granny had nothing against fortune-telling provided it was done badly by people with no talent or it.

Witches Abroad?

Over to you MrsLee.

OT: I got and read my copy of I Shall Wear Midnight yesterday! Finally out in the US.

"Detritus's arm whirled around in a 180 degree arc with oblivion on the end of it. The guard was lifted off his feet and smashed through the door, coming to a stop in its wreckage twenty feet away."

Hey! Where is everybody? Is it too hard? Too easy? What?

There's a lot of page flicking involved in this one, MrsLee. Detritus does this, or something very like it, in every story he's in!

I'll have a stab in the dark - Guards! Guards! - I think that marks his first appearance.

And I'll spring for Night Watch--I know he's in that.

How about Men at Arms?

All good and educated guesses. But the word "guard" may be misleading you.

Well, the other one that occurred to me was The Fifth Elephant.

Nope. Looking farther afield...

Thud!?

Farther afield than Uberwald? Detritus is not in Interesting Times so I'll have to guess Jingo?

Not those fields, justjim or Kittybee. Sort of like a field of dreams.

There was once a field of dreams out near the Holy Wood. Could it be Moving Pictures?

:) Yep, the field is now your, justjim!

OK. Time for a cuppa first...

"Did you buy the Red Desert Special or the Curly Mountain Straight?"

Guards, Guards!? It sounds like the time Vimes ended up knurd.

That is the very situation. Mister* Vimes did end up knurd and had to have half a glass of Bearhuggers. It wasn't in GG though.

*Not Mr, never just Mr.

Er, hello?

Okay, wild guess. Feet of Clay?

A little bit too wild, not Feet of Clay.

Night Watch?

Not Night Watch. I think by then Mister Vimes was well and truly off the booze.

Ah yes I forgot that because the whole time travel element.

Jingo?

No, still earlier.

Well, that only leaves Men at Arms, right?

I guess it does. That's the book I was after. Congratulations, take a bow and take it awaaaaayy.

"Currently, it was leading him through a neighborhood that was on the downside of whatever curve you hoped you'd bought your property on the upside of."

The Last Hero?

The Colour of Magic?

Neither of those, sorry!

Going Postal?

You got it, Rachel! Moist is looking for The Golem Trust. Your turn.

Yay!

"No, you can't ride a cat. Whoever heard of the Death of Rats riding a cat?"

And GO!!!

At the end of Reaper Man? I wonder why we never heard about Death of Fleas again.

Yep! Guess I should have looked for a harder one. :)

That one was a bit of a giveaway ;)

'What's your name, friend?'
' 'ornice-oggerooking-Oardway.'

Same book, next page (in my Corgi edition, anyway)...

'Ar. Oo erk or Ister Arrot?'

I know it is a gargoyle! He is also in a watch book... Feet of Clay?

It is a gargoyle, in fact it is the gargoyle who calls himself 'Cornice Overlooking Broadway'. He doesn't introduce himself in Feet of Clay though.

Men at Arms?

Yes it is! I sneakily used the same book as my last turn. Hey, it was still sitting there.

Your turn.

I'M GOING TO GET TO THE BOTTOM OF THIS IF IT KILLS ME, FIGURATIVELY SPEAKING OF COURSE.

That's gotta be DEATH. Is it Reaper Man?

Well, I'm not going to give much away admitting that it's Death (I seem to recall hearing somewhere that there's only one Discworld book where he doesn't put in an appearance. But I didn't find it in Reaper Man.

Soul Music?

Or Soul Music...

???? I posted Hogfather as a guess right after Kittybee yesterday--don't know where that post went, so I'll do it again.

nor Hogfather...

Is this not a book where DEATH is a major character, then?

Despite which, I'll guess Mort.

Nope - but close.

The Color of Magic?

Not that either.

Sourcery?

I'm trying to think of the book that had someone traveling through the cabbage lands and they stopped at a pub and were given the local liquor. I believe DEATH may have stopped in for a drink as well? Possibly I'm way off track. Anyway, can't remember a title to go with the scenario.

Nor that - a couple of pages later we get another Death classic line...

WE'VE GOT TIME FOR ANOTHER FONDLE

which I'd have used in place of the above if I'd found it first - still it serves as a nice further hint.

#181 was in response to #179. I'm pretty sure the cabbage lands didn't appear in the book I'm using so rack your brains no further on tha count MrsLee.

Taking a random shot in the dark, The Light Fantastic?

Phew, at last. This was Death's (as far as we know) one and only attempt at playing bridge. Over to you pwaites.

"One of the universal rules of happiness is: always be wary of any helpful item that weighs less than its operating manual."

Sounds like a dis-organiser(tm)*. Mister Vimes carries one in a few stories, but the 'New Firm' gets one for surveillance purposes in The Truth, so let's start with that.

*A brilliant name. Pratchett's usual multiple-level sense of humour beautifully demonstrated here.

Nope, not The Truth.

What about the one where the dis-organiser recites the deaths of several members of the Watch (down another Leg of the Trousers of Time, of course), Jingo?

Correct! Your turn.

OK, then...

"Sometimes what is legal isn't what is right, and sometimes it needs a witch to tell the difference. And sometimes a copper too, if you have the right kind of copper."

That has to be from I shall wear midnight, when they are in the city

Correct! Apologies to anybody who doesn't have a copy yet!

Your turn.

"He'd kicked the tail of a dinosaur, but it would be some time before the other end realised it was time to say "ouch"."

sorry for the delay, lightening took out the internet connection here, apparently it goes through an island and they took a couple of days to get repair men to it due to bad weather

#193 - "sorry for the delay, lightening took out the internet connection here, apparently it goes through an island"

Somehow that sounds like an excuse drummed up to not turn in homework. ;)

#194 I wish
I thought it was just a local problem (just my island) till it was on the local radio, apparently it also took out the 999 services (ambulance, fire and coastguard) for most of the northern isles of scotland so there is a bit of a noise about it up here. No doubt it has not made even the national news here as we are seen as a bit of a back water. All I can say is that I am glad it was only the internet being out that annoyed me and I had not a reson to figure out what to do when 999 did not work.

Google found the answer because the same quote came up on a Pratchett forum. But Google doesn't get to play and I never would've gotten it.

I had to go look where you lived, Jessica, after that statement! The northern isles of Scotland sound exotic!

I couldn't resist, after Chris' post, so I googled it too. And I don't remember that scene in that book either.

I'm just guessing The Last Continent, but I don't remember dinosaurs in there.

Somebody, probably Rincewind or Vimes (or just possibly de Worde) has annoyed some sort of bureaucracy.

Don't mind me, just thinking out loud here.

I'll try The Fifth Elephant.

I don't actually remember dinosaurs and I suspect this quote is really a metaphor, but nonetheless I am going to have a guess at Eric.

nope, nope and nope. not even any of the suggested characters
but it is a metaphor.

this is fun

Going Postal?

I remember another time somebody set something in motion that would come back and bite him after a while.

"Don't you listen, boy?"
"Mort." said Mort.

you got it justjim

Wooo!

New thread starting shortly... watch this space.

Or watch this space.

This parrot thread is no more! He has ceased to be! 'E's expired and gone to meet 'is maker!

'E's a stiff! Bereft of life, 'e rests in peace! If you hadn't nailed 'im to the perch 'e'd be pushing up the daisies!

'Is metabolic processes are now 'istory! 'E's off the twig!

'E's kicked the bucket, 'e's shuffled off 'is mortal coil, run down the curtain and joined the bleedin' choir invisibile!!