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Quiet: The Power of Introverts in a World That Can't Stop Talking

by Susan Cain

Other authors: See the other authors section.

MembersReviewsPopularityAverage ratingMentions
10,412473596 (4.02)392
This book demonstrates how introverted people are misunderstood and undervalued in modern culture, charting the rise of extrovert ideology while sharing anecdotal examples of how to use introvert talents to adapt to various situations. At least one-third of the people we know are introverts. They are the ones who prefer listening to speaking, reading to partying; who innovate and create but dislike self-promotion; who favor working on their own over brainstorming in teams. Although they are often labeled "quiet," it is to introverts that we owe many of the great contributions to society, from van Gogh's sunflowers to the invention of the personal computer. Filled with indelible stories of real people, this book shows how dramatically we undervalue introverts, and how much we lose in doing so. Taking the reader on a journey from Dale Carnegie's birthplace to Harvard Business School, from a Tony Robbins seminar to an evangelical megachurch, the author charts the rise of the Extrovert Ideal in the twentieth century and explores its far-reaching effects. She talks to Asian-American students who feel alienated from the brash, backslapping atmosphere of American schools. She questions the dominant values of American business culture, where forced collaboration can stand in the way of innovation, and where the leadership potential of introverts is often overlooked. And she draws on cutting-edge research in psychology and neuroscience to reveal the differences between extroverts and introverts. She introduces us to successful introverts, from a witty, high-octane public speaker who recharges in solitude after his talks, to a record-breaking salesman who quietly taps into the power of questions. Finally, she offers advice on everything from how to better negotiate differences in introvert-extrovert relationships to how to empower an introverted child to when it makes sense to be a "pretend extrovert." This book has the ability to permanently change how we see introverts and, equally important, how introverts see themselves.… (more)
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» See also 392 mentions

As an introvert myself, I really enjoyed this read which highlights and extols the virtues of introverts while enumerating the challenges of being an introvert in an extrovert admiring world. Susan explores the world of introverts through statistical research, psychological personality theory, and case study. Her writing is very engaging, and I think this book would be interesting to extroverts too. I definitely learned a lot about how introverts differ from extroverts, but also how introverts can be successful, even in fields that traditionally people associate with extroverts (sales for example). The book has a very favorable view of the role introverts can play in business while also taking us inside the heads of introverts and acknowledging some of the hardships they face when called upon to do things like public speaking.

All in all, I think almost anyone would get something useful from reading this book, but if you happen to be an extroverted parent of an introverted child, then I think this book should go on your "must read" list.

My only quibble with the book is that the end of the book is a little too weighted toward case studies - - which while very illuminating and interesting are not necessarily representative of the introvert population as a whole. ( )
  Anita_Pomerantz | Mar 23, 2023 |
My introverted teen and I listened to this one over a period of months every time we were in the car. I think he appreciated it. ( )
  CarolHicksCase | Mar 12, 2023 |
Such wonderful information! I wish I would have known this when I was young. ( )
  TheHobbyist | Mar 6, 2023 |
This is a very affirming book for introverts and could be helpful to extroverts willing to take the time. ( )
  JRobinW | Jan 20, 2023 |
Finally finished this one, which the library will be pleased about since I renewed my loan umpteen-million times. I have mixed feelings about it. At first, I was reluctant to read it because of all the hype it got when it came out and because, as a massive introvert, I was doubtful that it would really tell me much about myself that I didn't already know. However, I gave in. At the beginning I was extremely enthusiastic about it and even recommended it to several people before I was even done. Much of the information is thoroughly liberating. The book made me realize that I'm not so weird and dysfunctional after all, and it also made me realize that I am not alone in the world. It made me feel much less guilty about the times I feel like withdrawing completely from my wonderful children and husband--it wasn't them, it really was me and it was a perfectly natural reaction to the pressures of the external world that I clearly don't cope well with in abundance. It has a few little coping strategies, but mostly it is largely just validation for those of us who feel like utter weirdos on a daily basis.

On the flip side, I do have a couple criticisms. First, I feel like Cain's sense of audience is muddled. In some places she's talking to me, the introvert dealing with an extroverted American culture. In other places she's talking to those other extroverted Americans who have to deal with me. What's the likelihood of those extroverts picking up this book? Sure, maybe their introverted spouse or friend may put it in their hands, but I think it's a pretty small number who make the thoughtful decision to read about how the rest of the world functions, especially since Cain proves time and time again that the general, uninformed extroverted world thinks that we're just plain weird at best and wrong at worst. It makes me wonder if Cain's time might have been better spent focusing on a little more of the "pep talk" parts for the "wilting violets" of the world, which brings me to my second criticism: One of the final chapters discusses individual cases of an extroverted parent raising an introverted child. I am not denying that this is valuable to those in that kind of situation, but, well, see my previous argument about the number of extroverts who might actually get through the book to that point without being directed to do so by, say, a psychologist who has figured out that the introversion in an extroverted house is the issue. However, where is the help for the introverted parents raising extroverted children? It is just as confusing and painful for an introverted parent who just wants to get through the store to what she needs and then out swiftly and with as little interaction with others as possible to have a bright, outgoing child who wants to talk to everyone they pass and, worse yet, is so ridiculously adorable that people just want to continue to engage the hilarious and utterly tweet-able conversation with this small human. How does the introverted parent balance that utter misery and frustration with the overflowing pride that their kid is so awesome? I think that's a valid question and concern, and considering that Cain's primary (though obviously not only) audience is the introverted individual why on earth was this not explored?

It is unfortunate that this is where I was left with the book since it was the last chapter before the conclusion. Don't let my nit-picking get to you though, especially if you aren't a parent and can mostly just skip over that second-to-last chapter anyway. I think that there is a lot to learn and whole lot to think about with this book. ( )
1 vote BonBonVivant | Jan 18, 2023 |
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» Add other authors (7 possible)

Author nameRoleType of authorWork?Status
Susan Cainprimary authorall editionscalculated
Duffy, LauraCover designersecondary authorsome editionsconfirmed
Fedor, AaronCover artistsecondary authorsome editionsconfirmed
Mazur, KatheNarratorsecondary authorsome editionsconfirmed
Prosperi, CarloTranslatorsecondary authorsome editionsconfirmed
Reitsma, Jan WillemTranslatorsecondary authorsome editionsconfirmed
Wallin, BitteTranslatorsecondary authorsome editionsconfirmed
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Epigraph
A species in which everyone was General Patton would not succeed, any more than would a race in which everyone was Vincent van Gogh. I prefer to think that the planet needs athletes, philosophers, sex symbols, painters, scientists; it needs the warmhearted, the hardhearted, the coldhearted, and the weakhearted. It needs those who can devote their lives to studying how many droplets of water are secreted by the salivary glands of dogs under which circumstances, and it needs those who can capture the passing impression of cherry blossoms in a fourteen-syllable poem or devote twenty-five pages to the dissection of a small boy's feelings as he lies in bed in the dark waiting for his mother to kiss him good night. . . . Indeed the presence of outstanding strengths presupposes that energy needed in other areas has been channeled away from them.

- Allen Shawn
Dedication
To my childhood family
First words
[Introduction]
Montgomery, Alabama. December 1, 1955.
[Author's Note] I have been working on this book officially since 2005, and unofficially for my entire adult life.
The date: 1902. The place: Harmony Church, Missouri, a tiny, dot-on-the-map town located on a floodplain a hundred miles from Kansas City.
[Conclusion] Whether you're an introvert yourself or an extrovert who loves or works with one, I hope you'll benefit personally from the insights in this book.
[A Note on the Dedication] My grandfather was a soft-spoken man with sympathetic blue eyes, and a passion for books and ideas.
Quotations
To ask whether it's nature or nurture ... is like asking whether a blizzard is caused by temperature or humidity.
"It's so easy to confuse schmoozing ability with talent. Someone seems like a good presenter, easy to get along with and those traits are rewarded. Well, why is that? They're valuable traits but we put too much of a premium on presenting and not enough on substance and critical thinking." (one venture capitalist)
We need leaders who build not their own egos but the institutions they run.
So if, deep down, you've been thinking that it's only natural for the bold and sociable to dominate the reserved and sensitive, and that the Extrovert Ideal is innate to humanity, Robert McCrae's personality map suggests a different truth: that each way of being—quiet and talkative, careful and audacious, inhibited and unrestrained—is characteristic of its own mighty civilization.
If there is one insight you take away from this book, though, I hope it's a newfound sense of entitlement to be yourself.
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Wikipedia in English (3)

This book demonstrates how introverted people are misunderstood and undervalued in modern culture, charting the rise of extrovert ideology while sharing anecdotal examples of how to use introvert talents to adapt to various situations. At least one-third of the people we know are introverts. They are the ones who prefer listening to speaking, reading to partying; who innovate and create but dislike self-promotion; who favor working on their own over brainstorming in teams. Although they are often labeled "quiet," it is to introverts that we owe many of the great contributions to society, from van Gogh's sunflowers to the invention of the personal computer. Filled with indelible stories of real people, this book shows how dramatically we undervalue introverts, and how much we lose in doing so. Taking the reader on a journey from Dale Carnegie's birthplace to Harvard Business School, from a Tony Robbins seminar to an evangelical megachurch, the author charts the rise of the Extrovert Ideal in the twentieth century and explores its far-reaching effects. She talks to Asian-American students who feel alienated from the brash, backslapping atmosphere of American schools. She questions the dominant values of American business culture, where forced collaboration can stand in the way of innovation, and where the leadership potential of introverts is often overlooked. And she draws on cutting-edge research in psychology and neuroscience to reveal the differences between extroverts and introverts. She introduces us to successful introverts, from a witty, high-octane public speaker who recharges in solitude after his talks, to a record-breaking salesman who quietly taps into the power of questions. Finally, she offers advice on everything from how to better negotiate differences in introvert-extrovert relationships to how to empower an introverted child to when it makes sense to be a "pretend extrovert." This book has the ability to permanently change how we see introverts and, equally important, how introverts see themselves.

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Haiku summary
Introverts are strong
their brains are just wired different
this can be a strength
(sullijo)

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Penguin Australia

2 editions of this book were published by Penguin Australia.

Editions: 0670916765, 0141029196

 

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