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Boundaries: When to Say Yes, How to Say No…
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Boundaries: When to Say Yes, How to Say No to Take Control of Your Life (original 1992; edition 2002)

by Henry Cloud, John Townsend

Series: Boundaries (0)

MembersReviewsPopularityAverage ratingMentions
3,438342,809 (4.03)5
Are you in control of your life? Do people take advantage of you? Do you have trouble saying no? Christian often focus so much on being loving and given that they forget their own limitations. Have you ever found yourself wondering: Can I set limits and still be a loving person? What are my legitimate boundaries? How do I answer someone who wants my time, love, energy, or money? Why do I feel guilty when I consider setting boundaries? Drs. Henry Cloud and John Townsend give you biblically based answers to these and other tough questions, showing you how to set healthy boundaries with parents, spouses, children, friends, coworkers, and even with yourself. You'll see vital principles of boundaries at work as Drs. Cloud and Townsend take you through a day in the life of "Sherrie"--first as she lives with almost no boundaries, then as she begins to apply proper boundaries with others in her life.… (more)
Member:jchenault
Title:Boundaries: When to Say Yes, How to Say No to Take Control of Your Life
Authors:Henry Cloud
Other authors:John Townsend
Info:Zondervan (2002), Paperback, 304 pages
Collections:Your library
Rating:*****
Tags:None

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Boundaries: When to Say Yes, When to Say No, To Take Control of Your Life by Henry Cloud (1992)

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» See also 5 mentions

English (33)  German (1)  All languages (34)
Showing 1-5 of 33 (next | show all)
In addition to this, I went through Professor Christoph Kreitz notes on this. It's close to 300 page.

Professor Christoph Kreitz's Notes

I think, the notes are thorough, and gives the depth of boundaries.

Key Concepts:

-Own Responsibility for yourself, thoughts, feelings, values
-Take good care of yourself, so that you can take care of others
-Define: Who you are, Who you are not, What you like, dislike
-Out of Pure Heart: Love & Communicate to the other person
-Let people be themselves, we can’t control other’s will

Symptoms of Ignored boundaries:

-Enmeshment (feeling not clear, who you are in the relationship)
-Disassociation (out of touch with feeling, when violated boundaries)
-Detachment
-Victimhood
-Chip on Shoulder (carrying past hurt)
-Invisibility
-Smothering
-Lack of Privacy


My Problem with this:

I am not sure if this is for all cultures. If you are under Evangelical Culture, I respectfully ask you to expand your understanding of other cultures - Why? So, you don't mislead people into abyss.

People from Japan, China, Israel, Europe, Asia, India and South America might not even have these concepts in their culture.

Eg: In India, You will be asked by anyone:

1) How much money you make?
2) What does your family do?
3) People will reveal lot about themselves to you

Mr.Cloud, does that mean they don't have boundaries? I digress, probably, it looks differently.
It's part of the culture.

This is clearly written to Anglo-Saxons.

I would change the title to, "Boundaries for Anglo-Saxons."

Henry Cloud has a doctorate. Unfortunately, he doesn’t show understanding of anthropology (honor-shame, fear/power, guilt/law dynamics)

I implore readers of this work and Dr.Cloud to raise their understanding.

He could write a better book with such a background.

I'd recommend this book regardless to everyone

Deus Vult,
Gottfreid.
( )
  gottfried_leibniz | Jun 25, 2021 |
Religious scripture. Not business or humanities science. ( )
  paven | Jan 26, 2021 |
Yikes this came highly recommended. I was aware it was Christian and bible based but told it was more background.
Sadly it's not and well, I'm an atheist and set my boundary at listening to anymore of this bible thumping nonsense. ( )
  LoisSusan | Dec 10, 2020 |
3.5 stars, I think. Still thinking... ( )
  avanders | Nov 23, 2020 |
I knew that this book was written from a Christian perspective, and although I am not a theist, I can usually look beyond that to the substance. Case in point: I'm a Dave Ramsey fan, which is how I heard about this book.

However, I found that the Bible was the primary authority used for any and all the points in the book. There were an average of 2 Bible quotes per page, often taken out of context and molded in the shakiest of ways to fit the point being made.

Much of the authority I would have allowed the authors on the strength of their experience as counselors was sabotaged by their reliance on quoted scripture for their authority. If they put so much credence into a series of writings with so much internal inconsistency and use it so arbitrarily, how can I trust their professional judgment? ( )
  mike.wallace | Jan 13, 2020 |
Showing 1-5 of 33 (next | show all)
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» Add other authors (51 possible)

Author nameRoleType of authorWork?Status
Henry Cloudprimary authorall editionscalculated
Townsend, John Simsmain authorall editionsconfirmed
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To Henry and Louise Cloud and John and Rebecca Townsend, whose training in boundaries made a difference in our lives
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6:00 A.M.
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(Click to show. Warning: May contain spoilers.)
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Are you in control of your life? Do people take advantage of you? Do you have trouble saying no? Christian often focus so much on being loving and given that they forget their own limitations. Have you ever found yourself wondering: Can I set limits and still be a loving person? What are my legitimate boundaries? How do I answer someone who wants my time, love, energy, or money? Why do I feel guilty when I consider setting boundaries? Drs. Henry Cloud and John Townsend give you biblically based answers to these and other tough questions, showing you how to set healthy boundaries with parents, spouses, children, friends, coworkers, and even with yourself. You'll see vital principles of boundaries at work as Drs. Cloud and Townsend take you through a day in the life of "Sherrie"--first as she lives with almost no boundaries, then as she begins to apply proper boundaries with others in her life.

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Zondervan

2 editions of this book were published by Zondervan.

Editions: 0310247454, 0310585902

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