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You Just Don't Understand: Women and Men in…
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You Just Don't Understand: Women and Men in Conversation (original 1990; edition 1991)

by Deborah Tannen

MembersReviewsPopularityAverage ratingMentions
2,381255,456 (3.74)37
From the author of New York Times bestseller You're Wearing That? this bestselling classic work draws upon groundbreaking research by an acclaimed sociolinguist to show that women and men live in different worlds, made of different words. Women and men live in different worlds...made of different words. Spending nearly four years on the New York Times bestseller list, including eight months at number one, You Just Don't Understand is a true cultural and intellectual phenomenon. This is the book that brought gender differences in ways of speaking to the forefront of public awareness. With a rare combination of scientific insight and delightful, humorous writing, Tannen shows why women and men can walk away from the same conversation with completely different impressions of what was said. Studded with lively and entertaining examples of real conversations, this book gives you the tools to understand what went wrong -- and to find a common language in which to strengthen relationships at work and at home. A classic in the field of interpersonal relations, this book will change forever the way you approach conversations.  … (more)
Member:an_eternalstudent
Title:You Just Don't Understand: Women and Men in Conversation
Authors:Deborah Tannen
Info:Ballantine Books (1991), Paperback, 336 pages
Collections:Your library
Rating:***
Tags:sociology, human relationships, language

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You Just Don't Understand: Women and Men in Conversation by Deborah Tannen (1990)

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» See also 37 mentions

English (23)  Dutch (2)  All languages (25)
Showing 1-5 of 23 (next | show all)
Tannen's work is often cited as foundational to notions of gender and language, but it's hard to see that 27 years after its publication. This book subtly uses language that favors or excuses male behavior and calls on women to be more assertive, even while admitting that women who do are less likely to be respected by men.

Another thing that bothered me was the way Tannen conflated gender with personality. Some people are more taciturn than others, but gender is not the indicator, per se. ( )
  DrFuriosa | Dec 4, 2020 |
It's terribly sad that all these troubles can be caused by little, cumulative, misunderstandings. ( )
  cwcoxjr | Sep 5, 2019 |
Required for class
  katslibrary | Jun 20, 2019 |
This book explains the language and customs of the opposite gender. Anyone who wants to understand what that stranger on the opposite end of the bed is saying certainly should consult this book.
  CenterPointMN | Jun 13, 2018 |
This book explains the language and customs of the opposite gender. Anyone who wants to understand what that stranger on the opposite end of the bed is saying certainly should consult this book.
  CenterPointMN | Jun 13, 2018 |
Showing 1-5 of 23 (next | show all)
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» Add other authors (5 possible)

Author nameRoleType of authorWork?Status
Tannen, Deborahprimary authorall editionsconfirmed
Schermer-Lodema, TrudyTranslatorsecondary authorsome editionsconfirmed
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To my father and mother source and sustenance
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Many years ago I was married to a man who shouted at me, "I do not give you the right to raise your voice to me, because you are a woman and I am a man."
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(Click to show. Warning: May contain spoilers.)
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From the author of New York Times bestseller You're Wearing That? this bestselling classic work draws upon groundbreaking research by an acclaimed sociolinguist to show that women and men live in different worlds, made of different words. Women and men live in different worlds...made of different words. Spending nearly four years on the New York Times bestseller list, including eight months at number one, You Just Don't Understand is a true cultural and intellectual phenomenon. This is the book that brought gender differences in ways of speaking to the forefront of public awareness. With a rare combination of scientific insight and delightful, humorous writing, Tannen shows why women and men can walk away from the same conversation with completely different impressions of what was said. Studded with lively and entertaining examples of real conversations, this book gives you the tools to understand what went wrong -- and to find a common language in which to strengthen relationships at work and at home. A classic in the field of interpersonal relations, this book will change forever the way you approach conversations.  

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