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The Introvert Advantage: How to Thrive in an Extrovert World (2002)

by Marti Olsen Laney

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1,4642712,513 (3.79)26
Some people--a sizeable minority-- prefer to avoid the limelight, tend to listen more than they speak, feel alone in large groups, and require lots of private time to restore their energy. Often they feel different, not right, less than. But as Marti Olsen Laney proves, that is far from the truth. The Introvert Advantage dispels common myths about introverts--they're not necessarily shy, aloof, or antisocial--and explains how they are hardwired from birth to focus inward, so outside stimulation such as chitchat, phone calls, parties, or office meetings can easily become too much. Most importantly, it thoroughly refutes many introverts' belief that something is wrong with them. Instead, it helps them recognize their inner strengths--their analytical skills, ability to think outside the box, and strong powers of concentration. It provides tools to improve relationships with partners, kids, colleagues, and friends, while offering dozens of tips, including 8 ways to showcase their abilities at work and strategies for socializing. In short, The Introvert Advantage shows introverts how to take advantage of their special qualities not only to survive in an extrovert-oriented world, but to thrive.… (more)
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» See also 26 mentions

Showing 1-5 of 27 (next | show all)
I read a little bit of this, and I found a few things that resonated, but mostly what I realized is that I am not a "self-help books" type of person. I've never read one all the way through. Probably that says more about me than the fact that I picked it up in the first place, but I won't speculate about that!
  karenchase | Jun 14, 2023 |
Got some really great information from this book. Lots of insight - except for that recommendation for listening to Bill Cosby audiobooks or routines. Gonna pass on that one.

If you're an introvert, or deal with us regularly, I'm sure you'll get something out of this book. ( )
  amcheri | Jan 5, 2023 |
Wow. Just wow.

I learned a lot about how my brain works, specifically how it works differently from extroverted folks' brains. This book is also full of lots of tips on how to thrive and be yourself in our extrovert-biased society. She describes many of the things that are normal for introverts, based just on how our brains are wired - in these descriptions, I found SO MANY things that I've always thought were really, deeply, wrong with me. And hey, look at that. Not wrong with me at all. Normal for an introvert! Similar experience with a lot of her tips. Many (but not all) of the tips are things I've already figured out and have been doing to various degrees for many years. Some of these things, I've always felt like a freak for doing. I'm working on changing the way I think about all of this. The way I think about me.

I strongly recommend this book to all of my introverted family and friends. The more introverted you are, the more I recommend it. It might not be a bad read for my extrovert friends, either. Have a peek at what we may not be able to tell you about ourselves. :)

Life-changing. If I can retain it. :) ( )
  CiaraCat | Jan 9, 2020 |
I read this to help myself relate to a couple of my kids so I can give them advice. I'm actually an introvert too, but I'm more in the middle between intro and extravert, so I don't have the same issues they do. This book helped me to realize it's ok to be an introvert and gave me some good tips to share with others to help them. I listened to the audiobook version which may not be as good as just reading it because she does recommend being able to use the book and read in any section you want to. Audiobook is pretty much listen from start to finish. And some chapters I didn't care about at all but I still listeneed. If I had the print version I could have skimmed it quicker and ignored those chapters. But you may find those are the best chapters for what you're looking for.

This is a book that will stick with me and that's why I give it 4 stars. I learned something and it will change my life and my childrens life in a positive way I think. Not a huge change but like the butterfly effect small changes can make huge impacts later. ( )
  schlista | Feb 18, 2019 |
removes the "badness" from being an introvert ( )
  margaretfield | May 30, 2018 |
Showing 1-5 of 27 (next | show all)
If you've been called shy, a shrinking violet, or a wallflower; if your friends tease you about still waters that run deep; or if you feel that you're just not a "people" person, you may find this book very revealing. Dr. Laney, an introvert herself, convincingly explains the reasons for your behavior, and the differences between an introvert (you) and an extrovert (most of the rest of the world).
 
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Feeling gratitude and not expressing it is like wrapping a gift and not giving it.
—William A. Ward
 

To my Husband of thirty-eight years, Michael,who dragged me out into extroverting and enlarged my universe. I dedicate this book to you for coaching me to keep breathing through the long labor of the book birthing process. And you are awarded the Highest Medal of Husbandry Honor for devoting so many hours to read page after page about introverts (more than any mortal extrovert should ever have to). Last, but not least, a final thank-you for delivering nourishing meals to me as I sat staring and pecking at my computer.

    To my daughters and their families, who I love very much and who have enriched my live in countless ways:

    Tynna, Brian, Alicia, and Christopher DeMellier

    Kristen, Gary, Kaitlin, and Emily Parks

    I also dedicate this book to all my clients who have courageously let me into their lives.
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Growing up, I was often puzzled about myself.
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Some people--a sizeable minority-- prefer to avoid the limelight, tend to listen more than they speak, feel alone in large groups, and require lots of private time to restore their energy. Often they feel different, not right, less than. But as Marti Olsen Laney proves, that is far from the truth. The Introvert Advantage dispels common myths about introverts--they're not necessarily shy, aloof, or antisocial--and explains how they are hardwired from birth to focus inward, so outside stimulation such as chitchat, phone calls, parties, or office meetings can easily become too much. Most importantly, it thoroughly refutes many introverts' belief that something is wrong with them. Instead, it helps them recognize their inner strengths--their analytical skills, ability to think outside the box, and strong powers of concentration. It provides tools to improve relationships with partners, kids, colleagues, and friends, while offering dozens of tips, including 8 ways to showcase their abilities at work and strategies for socializing. In short, The Introvert Advantage shows introverts how to take advantage of their special qualities not only to survive in an extrovert-oriented world, but to thrive.

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