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The Art of Asking: How I Learned to Stop…
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The Art of Asking: How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Let People Help (original 2014; edition 2015)

by Amanda Palmer (Author)

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8404218,440 (4.15)15
Rock star, crowdfunding pioneer, and TED speaker Amanda Palmer knows all about asking. Performing as a living statue in a wedding dress, she wordlessly asked thousands of passersby for their dollars. When she became a singer, songwriter, and musician, she was not afraid to ask her audience to support her as she surfed the crowd (and slept on their couches while touring). And when she left her record label to strike out on her own, she asked her fans to support her in making an album, leading to the world's most successful music Kickstarter. Even while Amanda is both celebrated and attacked for her fearlessness in asking for help, she finds that there are important things she cannot ask for-as a musician, as a friend, and as a wife. She learns that she isn't alone in this, that so many people are afraid to ask for help, and it paralyzes their lives and relationships. In this groundbreaking book, she explores these barriers in her own life and in the lives of those around her, and discovers the emotional, philosophical, and practical aspects of THE ART OF ASKING. Part manifesto, part revelation, this is the story of an artist struggling with the new rules of exchange in the twenty-first century, both on and off the Internet. THE ART OF ASKING will inspire readers to rethink their own ideas about asking, giving, art, and love.… (more)
Member:Jaymeb
Title:The Art of Asking: How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Let People Help
Authors:Amanda Palmer (Author)
Info:Grand Central Publishing (2015), Edition: Reprint, 352 pages
Collections:Radar
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The Art of Asking: How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Let People Help by Amanda Palmer (2014)

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» See also 15 mentions

English (41)  Dutch (1)  All languages (42)
Showing 1-5 of 41 (next | show all)
You know when people say that a book is so good that they just cannot put it down. THIS book was so unbelievably good that I could not put it down. Amanda has cleverly made a book that is autobiographical as well as something along the self development lines. Most of the ideas that Amanda has addressed in the book are thoughts that had been plaguing my mind for years, after reading this I not only feel better mentally but I think this book has quite possibly changed my perspective on things, this book has the potential to change lives and change them for the better.

I've worked in the book industry for a long time and it's been a while since I've been so moved by a book. I felt as if Amanda was inside of me, she knew all my deepest fears and after reading this I know that everything is strangely going to be okay.

I haven't listened to a lot of Amanda's music and to be honest it is something that isn't my particular cup of tea. I just found her to be a very interesting person, a woman who was married to my hero and I wanted to hear more about her. I think after reading this though I owe it to her to go back and listen to her artform.

I couldn't put it better than Caitlin Moran - "Amanda Palmer joyfully shows a generation how to change their lives."

Amazing. ( )
  MandaTheStrange | Oct 7, 2020 |
I should be too old, too jaded, too well-read, and too involved to get sucked into book that MAKES ME WANT TO BE A BETTER PERSON.

But...
well...
It happened anyway.

So before I get into the review, I just want to thank the writer for her openness and honesty. I want to thank her for revealing such heartbreaking intimacy to us. I was already a fan, but I wasn't part of the fen. That has changed. I saw something that spoke to me and revealed a level of courage that was more compelling than practically anything I've ever seen, heard, or experienced.

The key concept here is being courageous in telling the truth, regardless of the consequences. Secondarily, it's about asking for help and being able to receive it, but just because I've put this as second doesn't necessarily make it less important. It just means that its message might have been lost if it wasn't for that moment where the pages bled and my fingers smeared Amanda's blood all over my furniture and on my shirt and in my eyes as I unsuccessfully tried to wipe away my tears.

On to the review.

The message eventually ramped up to revolve around the revolution of Kickstarter, and I assume it was also the impetus that made the publishers want her story. Little did they know they'd be getting something so very human and encouraging, showing the rest of us introverts and artistic types that we aren't wrong in wishing for a world of connection on our own terms, that being dissatisfied with accepted modes of living isn't a sign that we'll never be able to be true to ourselves.

We are not meant to be lost and unable to cope with our lives. We are meant to find our real kin and be a part of their lives, as they will be a part of ours. The only way that is possible is by opening ourselves up and being truly able to receive the help when it comes. I know it sounds cliche, perhaps vaguely mystical, but in this book, it's absolutely emotional and breathtaking and visceral.

I want to be seen. I want to be in love with every human connection I make. I see you.

So simple, so persuasive.

And ultimately, it is the most personally rewarding book I've read in a long time that doesn't set its feet in the airy world. I feel as if I had a long and wonderful conversation with a true friend.

Fuck the review. I'm just going to say, again, "Thank you, Amanda."

If you ever read this, assume I'm giving you a hug.

Brad K Horner's Blog ( )
1 vote bradleyhorner | Jun 1, 2020 |
Brilliant, touching, endearing, intelligent, sometimes loud, happy, song-filled, incredible, and heartfelt. Good lord, I thought I had a crush on Neil Gaiman...! I think I may have to spread this crush around to them both.
Palmer may not be the best singer, she may have way different ideas than others do, and she may make bad choices in her life; but I still want to be her very best friend, and share every minute of her life. I wish I had known about her blog a long time ago.......I wish I had known about her tweets from the beginning.......I wish SO BADLY to have at least once time experienced the 8 foot bride. I'd also had no knowledge of her before her marrying Gaiman, my very fav. author, so I didn't know what to expect when I saw the video of her TED talk. I was at once entranced, and a little in love. Who on earth can love everyone so very much, and not burn out...? Palmer's unlimited capacity for love, and life, is endless and envying.
Please, if you can, find this novel on the audiobook form at your local library...! It's read by Amanda Palmer herself, with a forward and after by a couple friends, who love her dearly, also. It will change you, I think. It did, me.
This novel/audiobook cannot be more recommended, or more highly. I'd like to give it ten stars. A few books have made me tear p at the end, but this......this was different. It was more like I was the Grinch, and my heart grew a few more sizes that day......and Amanda Palmer did this. Please, read it? Better yet, experience it like I did. Give it a try, you might like it. I did. ( )
  stephanie_M | Apr 30, 2020 |
This is Amanda Palmer's famous book about, not as you may think demanding one's rights, but about being humble enough to ask for what you need. An anecdotal treatise calling for radical compassion as the underpinning of society, and a story about love and trust and being an imperfect human being - and making art. If you read this with an open heart it may transform you. ( )
  Figgles | Mar 19, 2020 |
I don’t remember the first song I heard by Amanda Palmer, as that exact point in time has disappeared into the haze of my memory. [I do know that I had been lamenting for some time not discovering an exciting new artist, and then suddenly Amanda was all over me.] I quickly order her newest CD, which featured full frontal nudity (as a flash to the past, ads had those old thick black strips covering her “nasty bits.”) Then, I discover she had a book … all right, a double discovery. The book expresses her general philosophy of asking for what she wanted, sharing, and her thoughts about love. It’s not your usual musician/singer’s book, as she’s a uniquely talented performer and writer of songs and text. I found the book fresh and honest. Thought provoking is a severely overused term, but one that fits Amanda perfectly.
She tells her history, how she struggled to make a living while performing as part of the Dresden Dolls (a punk cabaret duo) and by herself. She has a very colorful/creative background, helping to support her musical endeavors with performances as a stripper, but much more interestingly, as the eight-foot-tall bride statue that took street donations and gave out flowers.
Yeah, she was one of those street performers that some people do everything they can to evade and avoid, to pretend they don’t even see. Many others were fascinated, some even proposed, and while a very few assaulted her; she keeps putting herself out there. She wore whiteface, a funky old wedding dress (one that got even funkier on hot days), stood on a wooden crate, and got donations. She stood stock-still and silent, until someone gave a donation, and then she would smile and reach out to give them a flower from the bouquet she held.
There a blub on the book’s front cover from Seth Godin that reads: “Will change the way you think about connection, love, and grace.” There’s tenderness to this act that far outstrips how I normally think of street performers. Hearing her inner dialogue was fascinating. The giving and the sharing of the experience, the flowers, and the donations are all about putting herself out there. The themes of The Art of Asking also have much to do with how she financed one of her CD and its tour, to the tune of $1.2 million—being the world’s most successful music Kickstarter yet. She describes how she got grief for asking for this kind of financing, when she’s married to one of the major authors in the world, Neil Gaiman. Amanda is extremely independent and the book illustrates well how this author, singer, director, performance artist, activists sees life as a wealth of opportunities for doing something new. The stories of her musical performances are fabulously wild and entertaining.
Amanda and Neil have performed together on many occasions in song, readings, and interviews. These occasions are always interesting (you can find many online), as these are two very inventive minds. Amanda did a TED talk about the book that’s been viewed more than ten million times. Her website www.amandapalmer.net is a fun place for her blog, tickets, merchandise sales, maybe a new song, and many other things that she tosses up there.
This was a special and very positive book that should give many people a different perspective on how they can choose to view or live their lives. Certainly, she’s not the first person to speak of such things, but this book is probably the best-written one I know of on the topic. The book is very personal, entertaining, humorous, and insightful. It also made me want to have a drink with Amanda and Neil. ( )
  jphamilton | Mar 10, 2020 |
Showing 1-5 of 41 (next | show all)
Review by: Mark Palm
Full reviews at: http://thebookendfamily.weebly.com/bl...

I first became aware of Amanda Palmer as the lead singer/songwriter of The Dresden Dolls, a duo most often called punk cabaret, but really just unclassifiable. Labels and categories drive me crazy, but whatever you called them I recognized that Ms. Palmer was an excellent songwriter with a distinct and unique voice. Writing a song and writing a book are two very different things, and not a whole lot of people have been good at both, but after reading The Art of Asking I can definitely say that Ms. Palmer has got the act down cold.

Like most of her songs, this book doesn’t fall easily into a category, but instead moves effortlessly through a several different genres; autobiography, self-help, and a treatise/meditation on art, artists, and not surprisingly, the Art of Asking, which in the author’s eyes lies at the heart of the most important human endeavors, particularly matters of art, and of the heart. What makes this book so successful is Ms. Palmer’s skill at moving between the different styles of the book, while always writing with talent and deep emotion. As the story unwinds from her early days as a street performer to the creation of the Dresden Dolls, to her current life, it skips back in forth in time and place, a technique that could be confusing in lesser hands, but one that Ms. Palmer pulls off effortlessly. Ms. Palmer does an exceptional job at mixing the particulars of her private life with her musings on the nature of art, and using examples of one to highlight the other. It certainly helps that she has led such an interesting and varied life, and is so able to write about it with such open-ness and sincerity. I could probably hook you in even more by telling you the details, but I really dislike being a spoiler, so I‘ll just let you find out for yourself what an interesting book this really is.

One thing I haven’t done yet, but am going to as soon as I am able, is check out the soundtrack that is available on- line to augment this book. Ms. Palmer is, after all, a musician first and foremost, and I expect that the music she has picked will be a wonderful compliment to this work. Either way it stands just fine as it is, alone. If Ms. Palmer has any doubts left about her ability to write a book, she should jettison them. I was both surprised and moved by The Art of Asking, and I look forward eagerly to see what she will do next.
I see you, Amanda.
 

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Author nameRoleType of authorWork?Status
Palmer, Amandaprimary authorall editionsconfirmed
Brown, BrenéForewordsecondary authorsome editionsconfirmed
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This book is dedicated to my Mutti, who, through her love, first taught me how to ask
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A decade or so ago in Boston, Amanda performed on the street as a human statue--a white faced, eight-foot-tall bride statue to be exact.
Who's got a tampon?;I just got my period, I will announce loudly to nobody in particular in a women's bathroom in a San Francisco restaurant, or to a co-ed dressing room of a music festival in Prague, or to the unsusepcting gatherers in a kitchen at a party in Sydney, Munich, or Cincinnati.
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Wikipedia in English (2)

Rock star, crowdfunding pioneer, and TED speaker Amanda Palmer knows all about asking. Performing as a living statue in a wedding dress, she wordlessly asked thousands of passersby for their dollars. When she became a singer, songwriter, and musician, she was not afraid to ask her audience to support her as she surfed the crowd (and slept on their couches while touring). And when she left her record label to strike out on her own, she asked her fans to support her in making an album, leading to the world's most successful music Kickstarter. Even while Amanda is both celebrated and attacked for her fearlessness in asking for help, she finds that there are important things she cannot ask for-as a musician, as a friend, and as a wife. She learns that she isn't alone in this, that so many people are afraid to ask for help, and it paralyzes their lives and relationships. In this groundbreaking book, she explores these barriers in her own life and in the lives of those around her, and discovers the emotional, philosophical, and practical aspects of THE ART OF ASKING. Part manifesto, part revelation, this is the story of an artist struggling with the new rules of exchange in the twenty-first century, both on and off the Internet. THE ART OF ASKING will inspire readers to rethink their own ideas about asking, giving, art, and love.

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Rock star, crowdfunding pioneer, and TED speaker Amanda Palmer knows all about asking. Performing as a living statue in a wedding dress, she wordlessly asked thousands of passersby for their dollars. When she became a singer, songwriter, and musician, she was not afraid to ask her audience to support her as she surfed the crowd (and slept on their couches while touring). And when she left her record label to strike out on her own, she asked her fans to support her in making an album, leading to the world's most successful music Kickstarter.

Even while Amanda is both celebrated and attacked for her fearlessness in asking for help, she finds that there are important things she cannot ask for-as a musician, as a friend, and as a wife. She learns that she isn't alone in this, that so many people are afraid to ask for help, and it paralyzes their lives and relationships. In this groundbreaking book, she explores these barriers in her own life and in the lives of those around her, and discovers the emotional, philosophical, and practical aspects of THE ART OF ASKING.

Part manifesto, part revelation, this is the story of an artist struggling with the new rules of exchange in the twenty-first century, both on and off the Internet. THE ART OF ASKING will inspire readers to rethink their own ideas about asking, giving, art, and love.
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