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Loading... Why Men Love Bitches: From Doormat to Dreamgirl - A Woman's Guide to Holding Her Own in a Relationship (2000)by Sherry Argov
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Sign up for LibraryThing to find out whether you'll like this book. No current Talk conversations about this book. Though this book had some good advice, such as not giving up the things you enjoy for a man, I'm not sure I'd follow it word for word. Isn't the important thing just to be yourself? If you're not yourself ALL the time, you will just set yourself up for a lifetime of lies. And that is sure to be exhausting. If you're not a bad ass, don't pretend to be one. Just find your own way to ensure you're not used as a doormat. Oh, and if a man ever does call you a bitch, don't consider it a term of endearment as this book would suggest. Yikes! no reviews | add a review
This no-nonsense guide delivers a unique perspective as to why men are attracted to a strong woman who stands up for herself. The author reveals why a strong woman is much more desirable than a "yes woman" who routinely sacrifices herself, providing answers to such questions as: Why are men so romantic in the beginning and why do they change? Why do men take nice girls for granted? Why does a man respect a woman when she stands up for herself? She helps you know who you are, stand your ground, and relate to men on a whole new level. Once you've discovered the feisty attitude men find so magnetic, you'll not only increase the romantic chemistry in the relationship--you'll gain your man's love and respect with far less effort.--From publisher description. No library descriptions found. |
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Google Books — Loading... GenresMelvil Decimal System (DDC)646.77Technology Home and family management Sewing, clothing, management of personal and family life Management of personal and family life DatingLC ClassificationRatingAverage:
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Some of the advice in this book is terrible-- for example, the story of the woman who, in order to avoid doing her boyfriend's laundry, deliberately threw in a red sweater along with his white underwear and dyed them all pink. He got so pissed off at her that he yelled at her that he'll never let her do his laundry again. Seriously? I don't see how this would make a man respect you more. Sure, the woman got out of doing his laundry with her "clever" trick, but if I were the guy, I'd think she was an idiot for not being able to do something really simple, and it would make me lose respect for her. I'm pretty sure there are other ways of letting him know you won't be doing his laundry that don't involve pissing him off on purpose. Actually, the more I think about this, the more that woman comes off as incredibly immature to me. And Sherry Argov thinks we should all be striving for this kind of relationship?? Whatever happened to actual communication and talking things out?
On the other hand, I do agree that women shouldn't be nagging, needy, or mother-like in their treatment of men. Argov is right when she stressed that women should have their own lives outside of their relationship. She emphasizes the need for independence, and her explanation of her use of the word "bitch" really shows that she is talking about strong, independent women who go after the things they want and live life on their own terms. (And I have to say, I do like the story about the woman who leaves for the weekend to spend time with her friends and family whenever her husband is being a little distant. Her husband is back to his usual loving self when he comes back, and proves that a little space and interests outside your relationship can make it stronger.)
I think where she goes wrong is by creating a false dichotomy between the "nice girl" (who does everything for the man) and the "bitch" (who expects the man to cater to her). Very few people are at either extreme, and really, I don't think you should be at either extreme. Argov argues that being the nice girl doesn't benefit you, but neither does being a total bitch. I think the point is to be your own person, but also learn to bend a little to the other person's needs as well-- a balance of sorts.
Anyway, this book is really a mixed bag of advice. I wouldn't recommend it, as I'm sure there are books that say the same thing (be your own person) without promoting manipulative head games. ( )