After I Do

Love is not static. It changes. It is adaptable. It can grow and it can disappear. It is amazingly special but it isn't easy. It has to be worked at. And if you don't pay attention to it, it can be hidden behind the mundanities of everyday life. When this happens, many people give up, finding it too hard to work their way back to the love they once felt. But are there other options? For Lauren and Ryan, in Taylor Jenkins Reid's newest novel, After I Do, the solution is to take a year off of their marriage to determine if what they once had, the love they once cherished, is worth saving.

Lauren and Ryan met in college. Their relationship was charmed, the envy of friends and family. But eleven years in and six years into their marriage, show more all is not well in Camelot. In fact, things are downright unhappy. Lauren and Ryan don't even want to be in the same room together anymore. They snipe at each other, throwing small unkindnesses at each other, freezing each other out, cutting at each other a thousand ways. They are resentful, irritated, and annoyed with the other most of the time. Things finally come to a head when they acknowledge the state of suppressed warfare in their home and they don't know if their marriage can survive the people they've become. The spark is well and truly gone from their relationship and brutally, truthfully, they aren't in love with each other anymore. But they both remember how it used to be and don't want to let that go without at least trying to recover it. So they agree to be apart for a year, not to contact each other, to focus on what they need individually in order to remember why they fell in love in the first place. Their decision isn't an easy or conventional one but they feel as if it is their only chance to save their marriage.

Told mainly through Lauren's experiences, the novel is realistic and honest about the fading of love in the face of small daily resentment after small daily resentment. Reid captures beautifully (and painfully) the building minor aggravations that chip away at the very foundation of happiness, thoughtfulness, and love and how those aggravations ultimately grow so large that they overtake any finer feeling. As their year apart progresses, Lauren reads Ryan's written and saved but unsent emails to her and starts writing her own as well. The sporadic emails allow each of the characters to safely air their grievances, the ways they feel the other has marginalized them, and the things that are so important that they have to change if there will ever be a chance to come back together again. Lauren, with the insights of her mother, her siblings, best friend, and grandmother comes to realize the many shapes that enduring love takes and she must decide if she and Ryan are fighting for happiness and to find a way back to loving each other, as opposed to being "in love" with each other, or if this year apart means that they can and should live without each other.

The emotions are so raw and so completely unadorned and truthful here that some portions of the novel are hard to read. As Lauren works back and forth through her own desires and intentions with regard to Ryan's and her future, the reader swings through foreboding, worry, and happiness all in equal measure. Watching the characters lose themselves almost completely is painful and knowing they will be forever changed at the end of their year apart no matter what their ultimate decision is is nerve-wracking. The narrative tension is consistent and the novel is perfectly paced. This is not really a romance but it is definitely a novel about love, knowing what is worth saving, what real, messy love looks like, and the importance of nurturing it before it is gone. Relatable and instructive, it is a novel worth reading for anyone who has been through the ups and downs of marriage or long term relationship. show less

Taylor Jenkins Reid is an amazing storyteller. I really loved this book. Filled with humor and emotion, this book is about the marriage of Ryan & Lauren. They have been together since Lauren was 19 and married very young. As with most marriages, there is the honeymoon period. Once that period was over for Ryan & Lauren, they began to argue more and not want to be around each other. Ryan proposes that they take a break for a year, and then see if they can fix their marriage. Over that year, Lauren learns a lot about herself, focuses more on her family, and finds she can be alone. The plot and subplots are wonderful. I couldn't put it down.

Another solid Taylor Jenkins Reid, she writes such wonderful and realistic characters. For me the family dynamic was the centre of this story rather than the marriage (which I was a little indifferent to if I’m honest). A sweet story that did pull at the heartstrings just probably not in the way it was intended!

This story has stayed with me beyond the last page. College sweethearts, Lauren & Ryan, started marriage madly in love, but now they actively dislike each other. How did they get there? What will they do about it? The solution is to separate but not divorce. Told mostly from Lauren's point of view, the reader gets a story of self discovery and a new level of honesty - with herself, with her family, and ultimately with Ryan. I liked the characters in this story - all of them. And I appreciated the way supporting characters were well developed.

After I Do is one of Taylor Jenkins Reid’s early novels. That doesn’t make it any less enjoyable, but don’t go expecting a huge number of characters, complex plots across time and Mick Riva.

The story is told from the perspective of Lauren, who is about to turn thirty. She’s been with Ryan for over a decade but their marriage isn’t working out. They argue all the time and it’s an effort to be in the same room together. They decide to separate for a year – no contact, do what you want and see who you want to see. For Lauren, it’s an opportunity to spend more time with her family and do things on her own. But she still misses Ryan, so she starts writing draft emails to him explaining her feelings which is a kind of therapy show more in a way. As the year draws to a close, Lauren needs to ask herself what she wants. Does she want or need in Ryan in her life?

This is a sweet story. It’s not life changing, but it’s honest. It takes the good with the bad of marriage as well as the feelings and logistics of separation. It’s not a romance either. It’s about a range of different loves – for family, for friends and for those who are in your life. It’s about improving the every day from saying you really hate pho to taking a life changing leap into a new career. All these things happen with Lauren and her family and it just seems so real. The characters are endearing, but not over the top perfect. Not everything is explained in minute detail either – Lauren’s parents are separated and she hasn’t seen her dad for decades. It’s just a fact, not something to obsess over. I really liked that. The focus of the book was on current relationships – growth or space. We don’t need to know everything about everything (although there was some repeated discussion about what I’d call ‘rat runs’ – taking the back streets of L.A. to avoid traffic and gain time).

The novel has a lot of feels, which readers of TJR will be familiar with. Happiness, sadness, awwww moments and some angry ones. The minor characters definitely bring those, such as Lauren’s grandmother (what a legend) and Natalie, Lauren’s brother’s fiancé. Overall it is a delightful story about personal growth and family that reads beautifully. The story is tight and it just flows, pulling the reader along with it.

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A married couple separates for a year when they’re struggling.I loved Lauren’s relationships with her family, especially her supportive sister and feisty grandma. Those relationships helped give the book a bit of depth.

“Isn’t it nice … once you’ve outgrown the ideas of what life should be and you just enjoy what it is.”

“The sun will rise no matter what pain we encounter. No matter how much we believe the world to be over, the sun will rise.”

“Why do we do this? Why do we undervalue things when we have them? Why is it only on the verge of losing something that we see how much we need it?”

TJR writes unconventional romances, where not everything is rainbow and sunsine. And that's what I love about her. After One True Loves tear me apart I was scared to read another book from her. This one didn't disappoint!