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BEGINNING FARMING includes steaming mounds of tasteful satire for those tired of city life with its festering traffic, rat race careers, fetid elevators, & fatty fast food with extra mayo. Learn how to flee to the country; purchase some seemingly fertile fields, several ruminant mammals, & several hazardous machines; & then run out of money. You'll also learn: * the history of farming - why Henry VIII resembled a potato, * proven fishing techniques - none of which are technically legal, * government regulations - their equivalence to natural fertilizer, * European farm cooking - making quick French entrees in less than sixteen hours, & * the future of farming - as taught at Disney World. THE AUTHOR: As a young boy, Lowell Christensen learned essential farming skills: how to avoid bailing hay, how to use a BB gun to shoot matches at the barn wall, how to bury a tractor in mud, & how to train a dog to do whatever it feels like doing. Order from: Pinon Press, P.O. Box 4785, Los Alamos, NM 87544; 505-672-1170; FAX 505-672-4098.