Year of Yes: How to Dance It Out, Stand in the Sun, and Be Your Own Person

I found most of her lessons hard to relate to. The majority of the book was a list of her accomplishments and how she chose to attend events celebrating those accomplishments. Though I appreciate the effort she made by sharing her inner life and her efforts to improve it, she has made a dichotomy of introvert and extrovert where introvert is inherently bad and must be subverted. There are unhealthy ways to live for both introverts and extroverts who go too far in one direction. It also feels unfair to say that things turned out well for her saying "yes" to everything when everything she said yes to was inherently positive: talk shows, commencement speeches, weight loss, more family time. Everything seemed to turn out great just by show more saying "yes" but there has to be a lot more to it than that. The book starts with a great premise of making positive change, but the examples she gives are so specific to her life situation that it doesn't feel applicable to someone else. She is at the height of her career with three healthy children, supportive family, and stable finances. This way of life does not in itself take away her ability to be relatable, as can seen by how well another well known female public figure, Melinda Gates, speaks about empowering women in "The Moment of Lift." Gates excellently executes the premise of Year of Yes. Gates gives anecdotes from her life and how choices affected both her and the people around her (for good and for bad) and speaks about the general principles of empowerment. She was both humble and confident in her abilities. I did not get that same impression from Rhimes' "Year of Yes." Her discussion doesn't include how her "yes" affected people outside of herself and her "ride or die" friendships. I would have liked to see more of that and if others in her life had started to say yes too. And if they had, were they successful? Or was this just a lucky fluke? show less

Holy cow, that was good in so many ways. I had initially just picked it up because I heard the audio (read by Rhimes) was great--I'm finding lately that I'm becoming increasingly inclined to check out an audiobook for its reader alone and not necessarily the story...weird. Anyway, it quickly turned into this mega personal moment, being so perfectly timed on the verge of graduating with this second >> Master's degree and maybe finally having all the free time that I never had during my 20s along with desperately not wanting to let myself fall into the hermetic life I got used to by necessity for earning a SECOND GD MASTER'S DEGREE while working full-time. Whew. Yeah so.

It really got under my skin. I could totally relate in just about show more everything she said, and BOY HOWDY! was I so, so, so, so relieved to finally hear a woman talk comfortably and assertively about the choice not to live with/marry her partner. I have never heard that from a woman, and I really, really needed to. I made a list a couple days ago of all the wonderful things I look forward to saying yes to once this last class is over (end of July!), things that will make my life a whole lot more fun and, more importantly, make me a better human being (hopefully). Long and short, it was a great pick-me-up without actually feeling like a self-help book...which it isn't. It's about HER, not you. (Oh yeah! I only ever watched maybe the first season of Grey's Anatomy waaaay back when it first aired...maybe if I ever feel like watching TV again, I'll start with Shondaland.) show less

I am convinced Shonda Rhimes and I are twins separated at birth. No, really. I may be way older than she is and we've got different skin colors, but those are meaningless details compared to the way I heard myself in almost everything she says in this book. We both describe writers as professional liars, for heaven's sake! That has to mean something, right?

My own identification aside, I'm wildly enthusiastic about Year of Yes because it is yet another of those wonderful, hilarious, thoughtful, positive books by women that I've been reading over the last months. And like those books, Year of Yes made me think hard about who I am and how I inhabit space in this world.

Long story short, Rhimes hears a hard truth from her older sister: "You show more never say yes to anything," and has an epiphany. She is going to say yes to everything for a year. Why? Because she recognizes how small her life has become in spite of her fame. She recognizes that she is not happy which means that something about her life is out of whack, and she badly wants to fix it. She wants to be happy again, to enjoy who she is and what she does, to enjoy her children, her work, her friends, her family, herself.

It's not an easy route, though her good humored account of that year and its terrors and accomplishments make it seem so. She's so engaging that it's easy to see why Shonda Rhimes is one of the most influential television writers working today. Listening to the audiobook, narrated by the author, does make me wonder how someone so open, so hilarious, so seemingly confident could think of herself as an introvert.

No, I lie. It's not hard to see at all. I'm an introvert and within my chosen parameters I can be open and confident too. You just have to be comfortable enough to stop hiding. That's what saying yes was about, she forced herself to stop hiding and find a comfort zone in every situation. That's a lesson to this introvert who needs to learn to say yes more often.

Shonda, my fellow Chicagoan and fellow introverted writer, thank you for this book. Thank you for saying yes. Thank you. show less

full disclosure: i adore shonda rhimes. what's maybe weird is that i am not a diehard fan of her shows - i watched several seasons of grey's anatomy, and the first season of how to get away with murder. i liked both a lot -- rhimes is incredible with dialogue and emotion and nuances of character. i have never seen scandal. scandalous? maybe. i know there is a binge-watching festival of all of her shows in my future. but shonda rhimes is someone i admire. from where i sat before reading her book, she was kickass and always had been. now that i have read her book, i amend my opinion from 'kickass' to 'badass'. she would appreciate that, i think.

i really loved this book. it's got humour and quirkiness and a big, fat heart. all of these i show more totally expected. i am thrilled these traits translated to the page as a reading experience. there were a couple of surprises within the pages that almost felt revelatory, as they were so relatable to my own being. i like that reading this book triggered recognition and awareness in me. i feel like i will be thinking on this book for a while, and referencing back to it - which is certainly unexpected, but i am happy about this. rhimes style is not schlocky or sentimental. she's not preaching to sell or convert. she's self-aware and sharing her experiences, while honouring others in their own navigations of the world. and she will make you laugh. at least, she made me laugh - out loud, more than once.

rhimes is a bookish, introverted dork. and, now, i kind of want to be part of her 'ride or die' tribe. they are also badass. i have some work to do! :) show less

I’ve seen every episode of Grey’s Anatomy. I’ve stuck with it through LVAD wire cuts, Dead Denny visions, the Seattle Grace / Mercy Death merger, plane crashes, bombs, active shooters, you name it. I’ve stuck with it (and almost always enjoyed it) even when she takes extreme dramatic license with the details of how catastrophic emergency response in Seattle would work. (Side note: Shonda, feel free to call me if you’d like to talk about how a mass fatality would be handled in this city that I love.)

Between Grey’s Anatomy, Scandal, and How to Get Away With Murder, Shonda Rhimes has created worlds that may not act like ours most of the time (thank goodness), but that actually look like ours. Not everyone is white. Or a dude. show more Or straight. Or cis. Not everyone wants to get married, or have kids. Her worlds are awesome.

It makes sense, then, that she would be able to write a compelling memoir / personal growth book.
The year (actually 18 months) of yes started with a flippant remark her sister made, about how Ms. Rhimes was always turning down invitations and pretty much just staying at home when she wasn’t working. After realizing this was a frighteningly accurate description of her life, she decided she would say yes to all invitations. She’d give a commencement address. She’d agree to be interviewed by Jimmy Kimmel.

That might seem to be a bit hard to relate to if you aren’t currently fending off invites to the Vanity Fair Academy Awards after-party, but I got it. Yes, she’s extraordinarily successful in her career, but that doesn’t guarantee happiness. So she started saying yes in other ways, like yes to ridding herself of toxic relationships. And yes to herself, in the form of taking better care of her health. I found what she had to say interesting and compelling, and pretty darn motivating.

I listened to the audio version, which is read by Ms. Rhimes. With the audio book comes the inclusion of three talks she gave as recorded at the events, which was a really cool idea. Hearing her actual address to Dartmouth grads (instead of reading the words) gave them more life, in my mind. show less

4.5 Stars. This reads much more like an autobiography than a self-help or motivational book. It's full of anecdotes and observations from the colorful life that is Shonda Rhimes. Her writing style is as exciting as her TV dramas, and I really wish I was a character on one of her shows so she could write me into life-changing adventures. The premise of her Year of Yes is simple, but also meaningful and empowering. It has definitely made me question my own life choices and decide the track that I want to lay.

I'm not usually one for "self help" books - especially celebrity ones. Still, one day, when I turned on NPR, Ms. Rhimes was being interviewed about her new book, Year of Yes. I was suddenly in rapt attention. She was witty, smart-mouthed, exceedingly down-to-earth and wow - a woman of color, and a driving force in the male-dominated world of network television.

Later that day, as a treat after teeth cleaning, I ducked into a favorite bookstore in the Marina and picked up Year Of Yes, certain it wouldn't be for me, but 20 pages later, laughing out loud in the aisle, I had to buy it.

Shonda Rhimes is the creator and producer of Thursday night network television - Greys Anatomy, Private Practice, Scandal and How to Get Away with Murder. She show more claims she merely "makes stuff up for living" - which has made her a highly-respected television mogul and a multi-millionaire.

Although I was a fan of Grey's Anatomy (until Sandra Oh left), I've never watched any of her other hit series. But I've always admired that all her shows feature characters whom reflect what she calls normalcy - all races, ages, sizes, sexual orientation and backgrounds. Creating and producing these ground breaking dramas we find out took guts, perseverance and some major rule breaking. No gentle "lean-in" for Ms. Rhimes -- she kicked down doors, stereotypes, racism, sexism, and a few butts along the way -- all in order to get her ground breaking, vibrantly diverse shows on air.

This part self-help - but mostly memoir reveals that as strong as Ms. Rhimes was at work, internally she was a shy introvert, was most comfortable writing alone in mismatched pajamas and wished to remain very far removed from the typical Hollywood hype.

"When I first got a publicist, I told him and his team that my main reason for having a publicist was so that I never ever had to do any publicity. Everyone thought this was a joke, I was not joking."

Ms. Rhimes is a highly-educated, hard- working genius, raising three children as a single mom and a sister in a large competitive family - that seemed enough and protected her from having to say yes to things that made her uncomfortable.

Then, one Thanksgiving morning, her older sister angrily mutters that she never says yes to anything --- not to social events, publicity, family affairs, or to having fun. This proved to be a turning point for Ms. Rhimes as she realized her excuse of being too busy with three prime-time television shows and raising her daughters on her own -- was actually a cop-out. Ms. Rhimes began to discover that her “no’s” were preventing her from fully experiencing her life --- trapping her in negativity and isolation.

So begins her scary year of saying yes. Yes to accepting compliments and the help she needs to balance her career with single motherhood and yes, to taking care of herself -- which results in a 100 lb weight loss.

Ms. Rhimes gives herself permission to answer the question "How do yo do it all?" with the honest answer - she doesn't. She credits and idolizes her live-in nanny, makes no excuses when relying on Costco baked goods for school events (despite the other mothers' home baked offerings) and gives herself permission to unashamedly practice "badassery".

One chapter relates her decision to remain single and the hurt she causes the men she's loved in her life. And to those who ask, she answers that their idea of a happily-ever-after ending is not the same as hers. Again, yes to her life choice(s).

It doesn't mean she doesn't say no...

"No is a powerful word. To me, it's the single most powerful word in the English language. Said clearly, strongly and with enough frequency and force, it can alter the course of history."

Her public calendar becomes full. She revels at sitting next to First Lady Michelle Obama at the Kennedy Center Honors - and realizes that, a year ago, she would have turned down this once-in-a-lifetime opportunity.

If you google Shondra Rhimes you can watch her interviews and public appearances with Oprah, Jimmy Kimmel, even a commencement address to her alumni at Dartmouth.

But, I believe her best speech is a short one, when she was awarded the Sherry Lansing Award for leadership. Here Ms. Rhimes credits the many, many women who came before, those who actually broke the glass ceiling so that women in the last 20 years could be successful. Recommended viewing (just Google Rhimes Sherry Lansing Award).

Trust me, Year of Yes is not a fluffy celebrity memoir with advice thrown in, Ms. Rhimes doesn't preach or condescend. She touts a mean work ethic and her message is; you've just got to do it -- the impossibly difficult, soul-breaking work; you can't (and won't) be able to do everything; you will make sacrifices; you'll make mistakes - but no matter what, you continue to do the hard work.

Year of Yes is a quick read, it's funny and down-to-earth, but don't sell it short - within its short pages are the thought-provoking life lessons learned by a woman overcoming her fears, succeeding on her own terms and being comfortable with all of it. She ends the book with this:

"I am different. I am original. And like everyone else, I am here to take up space in the universe. I do so with pride."

See all my book reviews at Bookbarmy.com show less