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Crucial Conversations: Tools for Talking…
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Crucial Conversations: Tools for Talking When Stakes are High, Third… (original 2002; edition 2021)

by Joseph Grenny (Author), Kerry Patterson (Author), Ron McMillan (Author), Al Switzler (Author), Emily Gregory (Author)

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3,582473,037 (3.9)13
A seven-step approach to handling difficult conversations with confidence and skill. "Crucial" conversations are interpersonal exchanges at work or at home that we dread having but know we cannot avoid. How do you say what needs to be said while avoiding an argument with a boss, child, or relationship partner? This book offers readers a proven seven-point strategy for achieving their goals in all those emotionally, psychologically, or legally charged situations that can arise in their professional and personal lives. Based on the authors' DialogueSmart training seminars, the techniques are geared toward getting people to lower their defenses, creating mutual respect and understanding, increasing emotional safety, and encouraging freedom of expression. Among other things, readers also learn about the four main factors that characterize crucial conversations, and they get a six-minute mastery technique that prepares them to work through any high-impact situation with confidence.--From publisher description.… (more)
Member:ayamartinseaver
Title:Crucial Conversations: Tools for Talking When Stakes are High, Third Edition
Authors:Joseph Grenny (Author)
Other authors:Kerry Patterson (Author), Ron McMillan (Author), Al Switzler (Author), Emily Gregory (Author)
Info:McGraw Hill (2021), Edition: 3, 304 pages
Collections:Your library
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Crucial Conversations Tools for Talking When Stakes Are High, Second Edition by Kerry Patterson (2002)

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» See also 13 mentions

English (45)  Spanish (1)  All languages (46)
Showing 1-5 of 45 (next | show all)
Essential guide to serious talk. ( )
  kslade | Nov 30, 2022 |
This book provides an excellent model for handling "crucial" conversations. A crucial conversation is any conversation where stakes or emotions may be high.

The model presented is easy to understand but is difficult to put into practice. This is actually a strength of the model. Fundamentally, this model is not a quick fix or a prescriptive "follow these steps and get these results" approach. Rather, it's a perspective on communication that will, if properly applied, fundamentally change your mindset in crucial conversations.

The conversation model presented in this book has many parts, but there are two fundamental principles.

"Learn to Look": Observe whether or not the conversation is in dialogue or if it's moving toward argument or avoidance. Getting into the habit of observing the state of the conversation will help keep it in dialogue.

"Make It Safe": When you observe a conversation moving away from dialogue, take action to make it safer. The book discusses specific techniques, but anything to step back from discord will help.

Overall, this is a highly practical book that I expect to revisit many times. ( )
  eri_kars | Jul 10, 2022 |
Simple and practical books that’s gives you strategies for having conversations that are high stakes and emotionally charged. I’ll be working through this book with my staff team. 5/5 ( )
  toby.neal | Dec 15, 2021 |
Mom recommended it. 'Nuff said. ( )
  OutOfTheBestBooks | Sep 24, 2021 |
Actual rating: 2.5. Some good ideas but I don't think I walked away from it with as many usable lessons on communication as I've had with other texts. Also, it lacks an understanding of nuance in relationships and intersectionality that I can't fully express right now. ( )
  sarahlh | Mar 6, 2021 |
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» Add other authors (6 possible)

Author nameRoleType of authorWork?Status
Kerry Pattersonprimary authorall editionscalculated
Grenny, JosephAuthormain authorall editionsconfirmed
McMillan, RonAuthormain authorall editionsconfirmed
Switzler, AlAuthormain authorall editionsconfirmed
Covey, Stephen R.Forewordsecondary authorall editionsconfirmed
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We dedicate this book to Louise, Celia, Bonnie, and Linda—whose support is abundant, whose love is nourishing, and whose patience is just shy of infinite. And to our children Christine, Rebecca, Taylor, Scott, Aislinn, Cara, Seth, Samuel, Hyrum, Amber, Megan, Chase, Hayley, Bryn, Amber, Laura, Becca, Rachael, Benjamin, Meridith, Lindsey, Kelley, Todd who have been a wonderful source of learning.
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In perhaps the most revealing of all the health-related studies, a group of subjects who had contracted malignant melanoma received traditional treatment and then were divided into two groups. One group met weekly for only six weeks; the other did not. Facilitators taught the first group of recovering patients specific communication skills. (When it's your life that's at stake, could anything be more crucial?)

After meeting only six times and then dispersing for five years, the subjects who learned how to express themselves effectively had a higher survival rate--only 9 percent succumbed as opposed to almost 30 percent in the untrained group.
People who are skilled at dialogue do their best to make it safe for everyone to add their meaning to the shared pool—even ideas that at first glance appear controversial, wrong, or at odds with their own beliefs. Now, obviously they don't agree with every idea; they simply do their best to ensure that all ideas find their way into the open.
The Pool of Shared Meaning is the birthplace of synergy
Second, clarify what you really don't want. This is the key to framing the and question. Think of what you are afraid will happen to you if you back away from your current strategy of trying to win or stay safe. What bad thing will happen if you stop pushing so hard? Or if you don't try to escape? What horrible outcome makes game-playing an attractive and sensible option?
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A seven-step approach to handling difficult conversations with confidence and skill. "Crucial" conversations are interpersonal exchanges at work or at home that we dread having but know we cannot avoid. How do you say what needs to be said while avoiding an argument with a boss, child, or relationship partner? This book offers readers a proven seven-point strategy for achieving their goals in all those emotionally, psychologically, or legally charged situations that can arise in their professional and personal lives. Based on the authors' DialogueSmart training seminars, the techniques are geared toward getting people to lower their defenses, creating mutual respect and understanding, increasing emotional safety, and encouraging freedom of expression. Among other things, readers also learn about the four main factors that characterize crucial conversations, and they get a six-minute mastery technique that prepares them to work through any high-impact situation with confidence.--From publisher description.

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