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The Hand That First Held Mine

by Maggie O'Farrell

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1,1377017,437 (3.87)78
A spell-binding novel of two women connected across fifty years by art, love, betrayals, secrets, and motherhood.
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English (64)  Catalan (2)  Dutch (2)  Spanish (1)  All languages (69)
Showing 1-5 of 64 (next | show all)
Two stories decades apart are told, one about Lexie becoming a modern woman in early-to-mid 20th century in London, the other about Elina, struggling with motherhood following a birth that nearly killed her and a less than sensitive husband. How these 2 stories intertwine is imaginative and well-told…except… I did not like how the author changed directions from Elina‘s tragic experience to her husband‘s crisis. I think it diminished the impact of both. It honestly felt like the author changed her mind about the direction of Elina‘s and her husband‘s story and rather than a rewrite, miraculously cured Elina so the focus could be on her husband. Still, it was a good story and a very interesting twist. ( )
1 vote KarenMonsen | Jul 17, 2023 |
A tense and captivating read by a great storyteller . Lexie escapes a dull life in Devon England after a chance encounter with Innes Kent. Lexie becomes the love of his life and works with him in the bohemian Soho area at a magazine he has founded . The story shifts from them to modern day new parents Ted and Elina. They are struggling after Elina went through near death delivering their son. Ted has issues of his own as he starts having glimpses into his childhood that don’t align . Eventually these storylines merge, and mysteries are satisfied and we are hopeful for the future.
There is sadness and death in this novel. There are wonderful characters and tense mysteries.it’s a compelling story that kept me riveted until the last page. ( )
  Smits | Jan 21, 2023 |
I was unsure as I began this Maggie O’Farrell novel if it was going to impress me as her other works have. It seemed to be two stories, being told in short installments, disconnected from one another; and the transitions were sometimes jarring. I would have just developed a real interest in one narrative and, boom, we were off to the other one. I should have had more faith. Maggie O’Farrell is an author who knows exactly what she is doing.

In a way, this is a story about motherhood, about the transformation a baby can make in a life, about the bond that isn’t severed, even by death. And, O’Farrell understands this bond, captures it flawlessly.

She considers what to say. Should she mention the nights spent awake, the number of times she must wash her hands in a day, the endless drying and folding of tiny clothes, the packing and unpacking of bags containing clothes, nappies, wipes, the scar across her abdomen, crooked and leering, the utter loneliness of it all, the hours she spends kneeling on the floor, a rattle or a bell or a fabric block in her hands, that she sometimes gets the urge to stop older women in the street and say, how did you do it, how did you live through it? Or she could mention that she had been unprepared for this fierce spring in her, this feeling that isn’t covered by the word ‘love’, which is far too small for it, that sometimes she thinks she might faint with the urgency of her feeling for him, that sometimes she misses him desperately even when he is right there, that it’s like a form of madness, of possession that often she has to creep into the room when he has fallen asleep just to look at him, to check, to whisper to him.

Of course, that isn’t all this book is about. It is about longing and loving, jealousy, the building of new lives when old ones fall apart, the finding of self; it is a book about living. I suspect Maggie O'Farrell has done some of that as well.


( )
  mattorsara | Aug 11, 2022 |
I had read and really enjoyed Hamnet, so I went in with somewhat high expectations. Many have rated this book high/5 stars, so I always feel a bit self-conscious when my take veers off the majority, but for me, it was just OK. I do love her writing…she draws you in, but there was just too much hand-holding by the omniscient narrator. Maybe that was what got in the way for me and made it a little boring…there is a fine line between telling me about the character’s thoughts, experiences, motivations and TELLING me everything…all of it!lol Which kinda of killed it for me. There were sections, albeit beautifully written, that felt unnecessary to the character development or plot…just tired me out. Having said all this, I did enjoy the story and the connection between the characters across time. ( )
  Eosch1 | Jan 7, 2022 |
(17) I really enjoyed this - easy reading that sucks you right in. Elina has lost her memory surrounding the birth of her baby son. She wakes up and he is in a crib in her room and not in her womb and she subsequently spends the next few weeks in a fog of sleeplessness, crying, wet nappies, and vague fear and confusion. Her boyfriend, Ted, is not much help in that fatherhood has seemed to have awoken some lost memories of his own early years. Then we are juxtapositioned with a seemingly unrelated story of a country girl who moves to London, falls in love, and becomes a reporter - how in the world could these 2 stories relate? But they do. We don't find out how until quite late in an otherwise engrossing narrative.

O'Farrell's writing is effortless. Her characterizations are lovely and the contextual detail she adds is spot on and almost haunting in its poignancy and symbolism. The violets, cigarettes, the veiny leaves of a plane tree, the phonics of baby talk. I was mesmerized at times. The sadness and the absolute erasure of Lexie's life was heartbreaking.

So as the blurb says - its about love, motherhood (OMG, Lexie's thoughts of what she would miss in the water - absolutely soul-destroying) fatherhood. It's about forgetting and remembering. The more I write, the more I feel perhaps I should up my star rating, but in the main - I think the subject matter tilts a bit toward the woman's book club crowd with less thematic relevance and gravity to the larger world - but maybe I am selling it short. I dunno - anyway, I will definitely read this author again. ( )
1 vote jhowell | Apr 2, 2021 |
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Epigraph
And we forget because we must. - Matthew Arnold
Dedication
for IZ
for SS
for WD
First words
Listen. The trees in this story are stirring, trembling, readjusting themselves.
Quotations
She has had a creeping fear of late that what she wanted most -- for her life to begin, to take on some meaning, to turn from blurred monochrome into glorious technicolour -- may pass her by. That she might not recognize it if it comes her way, might fail to grasp for it. (p. 5)
It is a particular brand of fury, peculiar to youth, that stifling, oppressive sensation of your elders outmanoeuvering you. (p. 12)
He will nod but his memory of the incident is no more than images like holiday snaps, supplied by her, shuffled before his eyes by her so often that they have come to resemble or replace the memories themselves. (p. 38)
It must be, he decides, that having a baby leads you to relive your own infancy. Things you might never have thought about before suddenly emerge. (p. 175)
They were like clothes invested with static, adhering to each other but with an uncomfortable, aggrivating friction. (p. 194)
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A spell-binding novel of two women connected across fifty years by art, love, betrayals, secrets, and motherhood.

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