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The Selfishness of Others: An Essay on the…
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The Selfishness of Others: An Essay on the Fear of Narcissism (edition 2016)

by Kristin Dombek (Author)

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1483184,369 (3.03)1
"They're among us, but they are not like us. They manipulate, lie, cheat, and steal. They are irresistibly charming and accomplished, appearing to live in a radiance beyond what we are capable of. But narcissists are empty. No one knows exactly what everyone else is full of--some kind of a soul, or personhood--but whatever it is, experts agree that narcissists do not have it.So goes the popular understanding of narcissism, or NPD (narcissistic personality disorder). And it's more prevalent than ever, according to recent articles in The New York Times, The Atlantic, and Time. In bestsellers like The Narcissism Epidemic, Narcissists Exposed, and The Narcissist Next Door, pop psychologists have armed the normal with tools to identify and combat the vampiric influence of this rising population, while on websites like narcissismsurvivor.com, thousands of people congregate to swap horror stories about relationships with "narcs."In The Selfishness of Others, the essayist Kristin Dombek provides a clear-sighted account of how a rare clinical diagnosis became a fluid cultural phenomenon, a repository for our deepest fears about love, friendship, and family. She cuts through hysteria in search of the razor-thin line between pathology and common selfishness, writing with robust skepticism toward the prophets of NPD and genuine empathy for those who see themselves as its victims. And finally, she shares her own story in a candid effort to find a path away from the cycle of fear and blame and toward a more forgiving and rewarding life"-- "An essay on "narcissism" as it appears in contemporary discourse on pop psychology and romantic relationships"--… (more)
Member:lostinthecosmos
Title:The Selfishness of Others: An Essay on the Fear of Narcissism
Authors:Kristin Dombek (Author)
Info:FSG Originals (2016), 160 pages
Collections:Your library
Rating:
Tags:essays, 16ps

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The Selfishness of Others: An Essay on the Fear of Narcissism by Kristin Dombek

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I have never read a book written by a friend, especially not one this far away from publication (this was released in 2016, I met her in 2020, and I'm reading it now in 2024) and it was so disorienting I am not sure I can do this again. All of my friends are writers, none of them fiction writers, almost all of them magazine writers, and now I'm wondering if I should just buy my friends books and not read them because this really irritated my schizophrenia in a way I don't know if I like. But Kristin is smart and incredible and she made this ending sweetness instead of gore, which would have been the acceptable ending, which is just the kind of person she is. ( )
  adaorhell | Apr 16, 2024 |
it lost me. started off strong but I think it's fair to say I did not get any particular insights out of this book. i like how she starts by reframing the conventional victim-of-narcissist narrative to show how this narrative privileges the storyteller. in other words, by telling a story of someone you think is a narcissist, it's really all about you and your victimhood becomes the story. so it may be narcissistic to believe you're the victim of a narcissist. on the other hand. anyway the book lost me with the interminable studies that seem to show nothing in particular, and the anecdotes which seem not to add up. all of which points to the idea of narcissism itself being a canard. which may be the point. or? ( )
  bostonbibliophile | May 3, 2017 |
It seemed as if the author spent as much time trying to be witty and surprising as presenting her argument clearly. Some possibly interesting ideas were lost in the process. ( )
  3bythesea | Feb 17, 2017 |
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"They're among us, but they are not like us. They manipulate, lie, cheat, and steal. They are irresistibly charming and accomplished, appearing to live in a radiance beyond what we are capable of. But narcissists are empty. No one knows exactly what everyone else is full of--some kind of a soul, or personhood--but whatever it is, experts agree that narcissists do not have it.So goes the popular understanding of narcissism, or NPD (narcissistic personality disorder). And it's more prevalent than ever, according to recent articles in The New York Times, The Atlantic, and Time. In bestsellers like The Narcissism Epidemic, Narcissists Exposed, and The Narcissist Next Door, pop psychologists have armed the normal with tools to identify and combat the vampiric influence of this rising population, while on websites like narcissismsurvivor.com, thousands of people congregate to swap horror stories about relationships with "narcs."In The Selfishness of Others, the essayist Kristin Dombek provides a clear-sighted account of how a rare clinical diagnosis became a fluid cultural phenomenon, a repository for our deepest fears about love, friendship, and family. She cuts through hysteria in search of the razor-thin line between pathology and common selfishness, writing with robust skepticism toward the prophets of NPD and genuine empathy for those who see themselves as its victims. And finally, she shares her own story in a candid effort to find a path away from the cycle of fear and blame and toward a more forgiving and rewarding life"-- "An essay on "narcissism" as it appears in contemporary discourse on pop psychology and romantic relationships"--

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