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Bearing the Unbearable: Love, Loss, and the Heartbreaking Path of Grief

by Joanne Cacciatore

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1024264,642 (3.92)None
When a loved one dies, the pain of loss can feel unbearable, especially in the case of a traumatizing death that leaves us shouting, 'NO!' with every fiber of our body. The process of grieving can feel wild and nonlinear and often lasts for much longer than other people, the nonbereaved, tell us it should. This book is a companion for life and most difficult times, revealing how grief can open our hearts to connection, compassion, and the very essence of our shared humanity. The author, who is also a bereavement educator, researcher, Zen priest, and leading counselor in the field accompanies the reader along the heartbreaking path of love, loss, and grief. Through moving stories of her encounters with grief over decades of supporting individuals, families, and communities, as well as her own experience with loss, the author opens a space to process, integrate, and deeply honor our grief.… (more)
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Showing 4 of 4
Awesome quotes used at the beginning of each story. This book was exactly what I needed at the exactly right time. Truths were revealed through tears. It’s a big deep heart book. ( )
  Andy5185 | Jul 9, 2023 |
I read this on the heels of losing my grandmother. I found it almost unbearably tedious. There were some morsels of insight, some moments of catharsis, but I found a lot of it repetitive: We should lean into our grief, truly experience it, rather than stifle it. ( )
  Gadi_Cohen | Sep 22, 2021 |
The Author inundates with lot of stories, lot of chapters.

An introductory read to be familiar with stories.

Stories of pain, suffering, uncomfortable, aspects of human life.

Many of us lack emotional vocabulary.

When we ask questions of feelings, we begin to dig deeper to be aware of emotional aspect of our life.

For Men, this would help us to grow bit by bit on emotional intelligence.

Many of the stories are heart-breaking, wrenching, painful.

My Favorite Part from the Book:

After Death of his Son, the Father used this.


January: Once a day, I vow to learn something new.

February: Once a day, I vow to do something I enjoy.

March: Once a day, I vow to spend more time outdoors.

April: Once a day, I vow to express my love more openly.

May: Once a day, I vow to call a friend.

June: Once a day, I vow to cry. And smile.

July: Once a day, I vow to go to bed by 9 P.M.

August: Once a day, I vow to read.

September: Once a day, I vow to drink more water.

October: Once a day, I vow to eat more salad.

November: Once a day, I vow to be thankful for the food I have to eat.

December: Once a day, I vow to do something kind for someone.


Self-expression is about the ways in which we show our feelings.

Kindness is about bringing love to others.

We cannot bring love to others without bringing it back around to ourselves — a wonderful way to
care for our own hearts.


Deus Vult,
Gottfried ( )
  gottfried_leibniz | Jun 25, 2021 |
A must read if you are trying to help someone who has lost a loved one, especially if that someone is yourself. You never “get over” the loss, and you are forever changed. But your life does go on.
A truly beautiful book.
Thank you, Dr. Jo, for writing it. ( )
  bodhisattva | Oct 14, 2017 |
Showing 4 of 4
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When a loved one dies, the pain of loss can feel unbearable, especially in the case of a traumatizing death that leaves us shouting, 'NO!' with every fiber of our body. The process of grieving can feel wild and nonlinear and often lasts for much longer than other people, the nonbereaved, tell us it should. This book is a companion for life and most difficult times, revealing how grief can open our hearts to connection, compassion, and the very essence of our shared humanity. The author, who is also a bereavement educator, researcher, Zen priest, and leading counselor in the field accompanies the reader along the heartbreaking path of love, loss, and grief. Through moving stories of her encounters with grief over decades of supporting individuals, families, and communities, as well as her own experience with loss, the author opens a space to process, integrate, and deeply honor our grief.

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