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On the Brink of Everything: Grace, Gravity,…
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On the Brink of Everything: Grace, Gravity, and Getting Old (edition 2018)

by Parker J. Palmer (Author)

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1896121,913 (3.5)None
Drawing on eight decades of life -- and his career as a writer, teacher, and activist -- Palmer explores the questions age raises and the promises it holds. "Old," he writes, "is just another word for nothing left to lose, a time to dive deep into life, not withdraw to the shallows." But this book is not for elders only. It was written to encourage adults of all ages to explore the way their lives are unfolding. It's not a how-to-do-it book on aging, but a set of meditations in prose and poetry that turn the prism on the meaning(s) of one's life, refracting new light at every turn. From beginning to end, the book is laced with humor as well as gravitas -- beautifully enhanced by three free downloadable songs from the gifted singer-songwriter Carrie Newcomer, written in response to themes in the book. Table of Contents Prelude I. The View from the Brink- What I Can See from Here II. Young & Old- The Dance of the Generations III. Getting Real- From Illusion to Reality IV. Work & Vocation- A Life in Writing V. Keep Reaching Out- Staying Engaged with the World VI. Keep Reaching In- Staying Engaged with Your Soul VII. Over the Edge- Where We Go When We Die Postlude… (more)
Member:DavidRBoone
Title:On the Brink of Everything: Grace, Gravity, and Getting Old
Authors:Parker J. Palmer (Author)
Info:Berrett-Koehler Publishers (2018), 216 pages
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On the Brink of Everything: Grace, Gravity, and Getting Old by Parker J. Palmer

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From Amazon: Reframing aging as "a passage of discovery and engagement", Palmer says, "Old is just another word for nothing left to lose, a time to take bigger risks on behalf of the common good." On the Brink of Everything is not a "guide to" or "handbook for" getting old. Instead, it's Palmer turning the prism of insight on his experience as a way of encouraging listeners to do the same with theirs. In elegant prose and lyrical poetry, he offers a set of meditations on the meanings of one's life - past, present, and future. “The laws of nature that dictate the sunset dictate our demise," Palmer writes. "But how we travel the arc between our own sunrise and sundown is ours to choose: will it be denial, defiance, or collaboration?" With gravity and levity, compassion and chutzpah, Palmer writes about cultivating a robust inner and outer life, a sense of meaning and purpose amid pain as well as joy, and the intergenerational relations that enhance the lives of young and old alike. Here's a book not only for elders but also for those younger folks we call "old souls". And this book sings! It includes three songs by Palmer's longtime friend and colleague, singer-songwriter Carrie Newcomer, written in response to themes in the book. Palmer and Newcomer hope to engage listeners in an ongoing conversation about what Howard Thurman called "the growing edge" of our personal and public lives. Ultimately, Palmer sees age as a precious gift: "The fact that I've come this far makes me one of the lucky ones." Surprised by the fact that he likes being old, he writes, "Welcome to the brink of everything. It takes a lifetime to get here, but the stunning view and the wake-up breeze in your face make it worth the trip."
  St-Johns-Episcopal | Mar 24, 2022 |
As he grows older (I should talk, I'm only ten years behind him), Palmer strikes me as becoming more self-referential, maybe more smug in his reflections. These essays are full of truth but something in his tone set my teeth on edge. His insights are worth the cost of the self-satisfied tone. ( )
  nmele | Jul 17, 2020 |
The tenth book by this much-loved Quaker author, reflecting on 80 years of a very full life. ( )
  FriendshipFLibrary | Oct 7, 2019 |
Could not finish this book. Seemed to be going in circles about Parker's life and development rather than the subject of the book ( )
  eembooks | May 31, 2019 |
Summary: A series of reflections on aging, living with grace and vitality as we age, and facing our deaths.

Perhaps one of the greatest unknowns that shape our lives either by denial, or conscious reflection is our own deaths. Like so much else, we have no clue what to expect until we get there. For some of us, our religious beliefs offer the hope of life beyond taking our last breath, or perhaps a return in another incarnation, or a oneness with the universe. We believe, perhaps with good reasons, but none of us knows. We wonder if death is going over the brink of nothingness. For Parker J. Palmer, at the end of his eighth decade, death is the "brink of everything." This work consists of collected reflections around the question both of "how shall we die?" and how consequently we live, particularly in the autumn years of our lives, a season he believes has its own beauty.

Palmer had me from the "Prelude" where he writes: "Age brings diminishments, but more than a few come with benefits. I've lost the capacity for multitasking, but I've discovered the joy of doing one thing at a time." In seven chapters, Palmer organizes his reflections and poetry around several topics. In "The View from the Brink: What I Can See From Here" he proposes that instead of asking "What do I want to let go of, and what do I want to hang on to?" that we ask "What do I want to let go of, and what do I want to give myself to?" Like Erikson, he sees that living generatively and giving ourselves to rising generations is essential to our vitality. That leads into a chapter on "Young and Old" A highlight in this chapter was a letter to a collaborator in the "On Being" program, Courtney Martin, and his observations about gender relationships. The chapter also includes one of the pithier and substantive commencement addresses I've heard or read.

"Getting Real" recounts the influence of Thomas Merton on his life and the journey from illusion to reality in his own life, from false self to true self. He describes an epiphany when a therapist observed about his perception of his struggle with depression (qualifying this as applying only to his own experience):

"You seem to image what's happening to you as the hand of an enemy trying to crush you. Would it be possible to image it instead as a hand of a friend pressing you down to ground on which it is safe to stand?"

The chapter concludes with journal reflections from a winter retreat week, which includes more Merton.

His chapter on "Work and Vocation" centers on his life as a writer. He confesses, "I became a writer because I was born baffled." It was helpful to find someone else who thinks this. I often find myself writing to find words to express an "inchoate something" that is rumbling around inside. "Keep Reaching Out" speaks to the necessity of remaining engaged with our world, which he models in how he wrestles what that means in a country led by a president whose character and values are at utter odds with his. As a Quaker, he wrestles through the question of how to be angry and yet live one's commitments to non-violence. A short essay in this section on "The Soul of a Patriot" included a succinct statement from William Sloan Coffin that expressed with precision something I've been groping for:

"There are three kinds of patriots, two bad and one good. The bad ones are the uncritical lovers, and the loveless critics. Good patriots carry on a lover's quarrel with their country, a reflection of God's lover's quarrel with the world."

We also need to "Keep Reaching In," His insights on the connection between pain and violence were thought-provoking to me, reminding me of Henri Nouwen and how wounds can become toxic or sacred to us, depending on the inner work we do:

"What can we do with our pain? How might we hold it and work with it? How do we turn the power of suffering toward new life? The way we answer those questions is critical because violence is what happens when we don't know what else to do with our suffering."

This relates to his final chapter "Over the Edge," in which he calls out the great challenge of wholeness, which is to live with and embrace all the contradictions of our lives--our noble and petty qualities--saying "I am all of the above." He reminds us that we are never other than beautiful and broken persons and to face the truth about ourselves allows us both to live and die well. As for what is "beyond," the most he will cautiously advance is that he believes that somehow body and spirit are intertwined and indivisible, whether in simply making new life possible or something more.

In this last, it is clear that this is not a book that presents an orthodox Christian view of death and future hope (although the resurrection is a marvelous expression, I think, of his intuitions of the indivisibility of body and spirit). Rather his reflections, the questions he explores in his writing, as well as the bonus downloadable music by retreat collaborator and musician Carrie Newcomer, explore how we might grow old with grace and generativity, rather than crankiness and frustration and sadness. His insights about anger and pain, and the temptations to violence seem very relevant whether we are old or young in this angry and violent culture.

I live in a place of seasons and I love the approach of each one and think each has its own beauty. Palmer helps me to see this in life, that the approach of autumn, and the winter to follow have their own beauty. Contrary to Dylan Thomas, Palmer suggests that we can go gently into the good night. He proposes that this is a season that has its own richness, that he invites us to join with him in exploring as we all approach the brink of everything. ( )
  BobonBooks | Oct 3, 2018 |
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Drawing on eight decades of life -- and his career as a writer, teacher, and activist -- Palmer explores the questions age raises and the promises it holds. "Old," he writes, "is just another word for nothing left to lose, a time to dive deep into life, not withdraw to the shallows." But this book is not for elders only. It was written to encourage adults of all ages to explore the way their lives are unfolding. It's not a how-to-do-it book on aging, but a set of meditations in prose and poetry that turn the prism on the meaning(s) of one's life, refracting new light at every turn. From beginning to end, the book is laced with humor as well as gravitas -- beautifully enhanced by three free downloadable songs from the gifted singer-songwriter Carrie Newcomer, written in response to themes in the book. Table of Contents Prelude I. The View from the Brink- What I Can See from Here II. Young & Old- The Dance of the Generations III. Getting Real- From Illusion to Reality IV. Work & Vocation- A Life in Writing V. Keep Reaching Out- Staying Engaged with the World VI. Keep Reaching In- Staying Engaged with Your Soul VII. Over the Edge- Where We Go When We Die Postlude

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