Challenging and inspiring

This book is likely to be a tough read, both for parents and for ADHD adults who rely on the neurological explanation to understand their disorder. Maté is aware of and supportive of the role of neurological factors in ADHD and the use of drugs in treatment, but in this book he uses current research, his clinical practice and episodes in his own life to indicate how much else is going on.

The book is tough for parents because it traces so much of the disorder to the relationship between the mothering figure and the infant in the first two years of life. Maté also indicates strategies for repair - both for children and for adults - is those first two years weren’t as attuned as May have been ideal for the child.

I have a little frustration that the repair strategies for adults are fairly commonplace - I was hoping for something more unexpected, but that’s probably just magical thinking on my part. If I simply did all the things to help myself that I know I ought to do, he may we’ll be right that life would be very different.

Strongly recommended to those dealing with ADHD in themselves and especially parents with ADHD kids. If you’re considering having kids, read this book!

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I know, I know. You're reconsidering your opinion of my mental abilities and private beliefs. Before you make a final decision, let me share a few experiences.

1. Two parents that I know of, one extremely abusive, but neither with any sign of ADHD, who have 3 children with horrible ADHD and the other with major depression issues.

2. A brother of mine who had terrible ADHD who is much much better after marrying a wonderful woman. He graduated with a 4-year college degree, holds down a solid job, has a career path planned, and manages several hefty side-responsibilities. And, yes, that is the only thing that changed.

3. A friend who has rampant ADHD texted me once while she was crying, saying that all she wanted was a hug. I wasn't able to do anything, but suggested she ask her parents. "That's not something they do. I'd be embarrassed." she replied. Her parents weren't abusive. They just didn't speak her love language.

4. A comment from my husband after we got married saying that, having grown up at the beginning of the YouTube age, he had "given himself mild ADHD."

So Maté's book interested me. His thesis: genetics and childhood attachment both play a part in ADHD.

Now, what you're all wondering, do I agree with him? I think that he needs more studies, more stats, etc. I also think, based on my experiences above, that his observations are intriguing. Also, it is good to remember that he never claims that healing attachment issues will completely heal ADHD. It won't, he says. But proper treatment and, sometimes therapy, will help heal the poor relational pathways that will make living with it much more joyful.

Regardless of his thesis, this has fantastic sections on child development. He also does an amazing job of helping the average reader understand what living with ADHD is like(at least, from a long-term observer of people with ADHD, I think so. But I could be wrong). I also really liked his tips for teaching those with ADHD. His observations on guilt and anxiety were also really helpful. Even if you don't agree with his thesis, I think you'll find a lot here to help you understand what living with it is like. ( )

I had some trouble with this because I felt like his fundemental reasoning (add being a byproduct of the mother/child attachment issues) was faulty but there were some good points along the way.

Kids with ADHD need to be loved and shown the way to become successful adults. In this book the author tells regarding clear and valuable book dispels a spread of myths regarding attention deficit disorder (ADD). ( )

A great resource for anyone hoping to understand the dynamics of ADD/ADHD. Compassionate, science based, rooted in naratives.