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Hunt, Gather, Parent
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Hunt, Gather, Parent

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2546106,466 (4.24)2
Family & Relationships. Sociology. Nonfiction. HTML:NEW YORK TIMES BESTSELLER

The oldest cultures in the world have mastered the art of raising happy, well-adjusted children. What can we learn from them?

"Hunt, Gather, Parent is full of smart ideas that I immediately wanted to force on my own kids." ‚??Pamela Druckerman, The New York Times Book Review
When Dr. Michaeleen Doucleff becomes a mother, she examines the studies behind modern parenting guidance and finds the evidence frustratingly limited and often ineffective. Curious to learn about more effective parenting approaches, she visits a Maya village in the Yucat√°n Peninsula. There she encounters moms and dads who parent in a totally different way than we do‚??and raise extraordinarily kind, generous, and helpful children without yelling, nagging, or issuing timeouts. What else, Doucleff wonders, are Western parents missing out on?

In Hunt, Gather, Parent, Doucleff sets out with her three-year-old daughter in tow to learn and practice parenting strategies from families in three of the world's most venerable communities: Maya families in Mexico, Inuit families above the Arctic Circle, and Hadzabe families in Tanzania. She sees that these cultures don't have the same problems with children that Western parents do. Most strikingly, parents build a relationship with young children that is vastly different from the one many Western parents develop‚??it's built on cooperation instead of control, trust instead of fear, and personalized needs instead of standardized development milestones.

Maya parents are masters at raising cooperative children. Without resorting to bribes, threats, or chore charts, Maya parents rear loyal helpers by including kids in household tasks from the time they can walk. Inuit parents have developed a remarkably effective approach for teaching children emotional intelligence. When kids cry, hit, or act out, Inuit parents respond with a calm, gentle demeanor that teaches children how to settle themselves down and think before acting. Hadzabe parents are experts on raising confident, self-driven kids with a simple tool that protects children from stress and anxiety, so common now among American kids.

Not only does Doucleff live with families and observe their methods firsthand, she also applies them with her own daughter, with striking results. She learns to discipline without yelling. She talks to psychologists, neuroscientists, anthropologists, and sociologists and explains how these strategies can impact children's mental health and development. Filled with practical takeaways that parents can implement immediately, Hunt, Gather, Parent helps us rethink the ways we relate to our children, and reveals a universal parenting paradigm adapted for America
… (more)
Member:phoenixcomet
Title:Hunt, Gather, Parent
Authors: (Author)
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Collections:Your library
Rating:*****
Tags:Parenting, nonfiction, 21st-century

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Hunt, Gather, Parent: What Ancient Cultures Can Teach Us About the Lost Art of Raising Happy, Helpful Little Humans by Michaeleen Doucleff

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» See also 2 mentions

English (4)  Catalan (1)  Spanish (1)  All languages (6)
Showing 4 of 4
It would be who every young parent to read Hunt, Gather, Parent to see how the rest of the world parents children because the weatern way is WEIRD (western, educated, industrialized, rich and democratic) and has led a lot of kids filled with anxiety and depression. Essentially, it takes a village. ( )
  phoenixcomet | Jun 11, 2024 |
I'm not the intended audience for this book, but I was interested in the anthropological and memoir aspects of it. Doucleff makes a lot of good points about our culture and provides alternatives perspectives on how children can be raised. I appreciated the historical context that showed how western cultures got their ideas about child raising. There was a lot of how-to aspects that got a bit tedious but, like I said, I'm not the intended audience so I'm sure parents will find the information and tips for application helpful. There are definitely ideas in the book that my western mind immediately distrusted, but that's not surprising. Ultimately there were a lot of interesting things to consider about how we interact with and view children in our culture. ( )
  caaleros | May 17, 2024 |
how to raise children; ( )
  pollycallahan | Jul 1, 2023 |
I really can't say why I wanted to read this book nor why I loved it, considering I am not a parent, have never been a parent, have never in my adult life wanted to be a parent, am definitely not a regular reader of parenting books, and skip just about anything related to parenting in all other media as well.

But this was a book about culture. The insane author takes her three-year-old to three different destinations around the world, each wilder than the last, to learn what the cultures there can teach her about parenting and her troubles with Rosy.

From the Maya of Yucatan, she learned about 'acomodido' - how children learn to be accommodating, to help without being asked, to know what help is needed without being told. From the Inuit of Baffin Island, she learned how to be calm, and raise a calmer child. From the Hadzabe of Tanzania, she learned about autonomy, how children can be independent yet still taught that they must be a help to their family and tribe.

Some might say she idealizes these other cultures. Sometimes yes, it is hard to believe everything is always as smooth and beautiful as she describes. But it's meant to be a kind of self-help book. There's lots of repetition of the lessons of each section, literal repetition - I always hate summary pages that tell me what I just read; I read for a story, and they interrupt the flow.

Nevertheless, none of this detracted for me from the fun of visiting with these families around the world, and seeing how different family life can be from what we are used to here. As for the author and her trouble child, I really enjoyed spending time with them, too. Rosy's tantrums can be hysterical, when enjoyed from my safe distance. Hearing how well new methods worked to calm her down was rewarding. In the end, I'm sad tonight that I'm done with the book and won't have any time with Rosy and Michaeleen anymore. That's at least a four star book right there. ( )
  Tytania | May 4, 2021 |
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» Add other authors (4 possible)

Author nameRoleType of authorWork?Status
Doucleff, Michaeleenprimary authorall editionsconfirmed
Anne, SimonAuthor photographersecondary authorsome editionsconfirmed
Bertoldo, Giuliasecondary authorsome editionsconfirmed
Bruschi, Elisabettasecondary authorsome editionsconfirmed
Bush, JonathanCover artistsecondary authorsome editionsconfirmed
De Angelis, Julianasecondary authorsome editionsconfirmed
Filliozat, IsabelleContributorsecondary authorsome editionsconfirmed
Forner, AlisonCover designersecondary authorsome editionsconfirmed
Kretschmer, UlrikeTranslatorsecondary authorsome editionsconfirmed
O'Meara, JoyDesignersecondary authorsome editionsconfirmed
Peylet, EliseTranslatorsecondary authorsome editionsconfirmed
Roig Giménez, EstherTranslatorsecondary authorsome editionsconfirmed
West, NinaNarratorsecondary authorsome editionsconfirmed
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Epigraph
Dedication
In memory of Mango, the best book shepherd a writer could have
To Rosy
First words
I remember the moment I hit rock bottom as a mom. (Prologue)
Back in the spring of 2018, I sat at the Canc√ļn airport, almost in a state of paralysis.
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(Click to show. Warning: May contain spoilers.)
(Click to show. Warning: May contain spoilers.)
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Family & Relationships. Sociology. Nonfiction. HTML:NEW YORK TIMES BESTSELLER

The oldest cultures in the world have mastered the art of raising happy, well-adjusted children. What can we learn from them?

"Hunt, Gather, Parent is full of smart ideas that I immediately wanted to force on my own kids." ‚??Pamela Druckerman, The New York Times Book Review
When Dr. Michaeleen Doucleff becomes a mother, she examines the studies behind modern parenting guidance and finds the evidence frustratingly limited and often ineffective. Curious to learn about more effective parenting approaches, she visits a Maya village in the Yucat√°n Peninsula. There she encounters moms and dads who parent in a totally different way than we do‚??and raise extraordinarily kind, generous, and helpful children without yelling, nagging, or issuing timeouts. What else, Doucleff wonders, are Western parents missing out on?

In Hunt, Gather, Parent, Doucleff sets out with her three-year-old daughter in tow to learn and practice parenting strategies from families in three of the world's most venerable communities: Maya families in Mexico, Inuit families above the Arctic Circle, and Hadzabe families in Tanzania. She sees that these cultures don't have the same problems with children that Western parents do. Most strikingly, parents build a relationship with young children that is vastly different from the one many Western parents develop‚??it's built on cooperation instead of control, trust instead of fear, and personalized needs instead of standardized development milestones.

Maya parents are masters at raising cooperative children. Without resorting to bribes, threats, or chore charts, Maya parents rear loyal helpers by including kids in household tasks from the time they can walk. Inuit parents have developed a remarkably effective approach for teaching children emotional intelligence. When kids cry, hit, or act out, Inuit parents respond with a calm, gentle demeanor that teaches children how to settle themselves down and think before acting. Hadzabe parents are experts on raising confident, self-driven kids with a simple tool that protects children from stress and anxiety, so common now among American kids.

Not only does Doucleff live with families and observe their methods firsthand, she also applies them with her own daughter, with striking results. She learns to discipline without yelling. She talks to psychologists, neuroscientists, anthropologists, and sociologists and explains how these strategies can impact children's mental health and development. Filled with practical takeaways that parents can implement immediately, Hunt, Gather, Parent helps us rethink the ways we relate to our children, and reveals a universal parenting paradigm adapted for America

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Book description
TABLE OF CONTENTS:

Dedication . . . 5
Prologue . . . 1

Section 1 Weird, wild West:
1. The WEIRDest parents in the world . . . 15
2. Why do we parent the way we do? . . . 31

Section 2 Maya method.
3 The most helpful kids in the world . . . 49
4 How to teach kids to do chores, voluntarily . . . 55
5 How to raise flexible, cooperative kids . . . 76

TEAM 1: Introduction to TEAM parenting: a better way to be together . . . 97
6 Master motivators: what's better than praise? . . . 108

Section 3 Inuit emotional intelligence.
7 Never in anger . . . 129
8 How to teach children to control their anger . . . 142
9 How to stop being angry at your child . . . 148

TEAM 2: Encourage, never force . . . 159
10 Introduction to parenting tools . . . 164
I Tools for tantrums . . . 167
II Tools for everyday misbehavior . . . 180
11 Tools for sculpting behavior: stories . . . 201
12 Tools for sculpting behavior: drama . . . 214

Section 4 Hadzabe health
13 How did our ancient ancestors parent? . . . 231
14 The most confident kids in the world . . . 241

TEAM 3: Ancient antidote for anxiety and stress . . . 250
15 Ancient antidote for depression . . . 274

Section 5 Western parenting 2.0

TEAM 4: A new paradigm for Western parents . . . 293
Sleep . . . 299

Epilogue . . . 307

Practical sections.
Try IT 1 Train helpfulness . . . 63
Try It 2 Train cooperation . . . 89
Try It 3 Learn to motivate children . . . 116
Try It 4 Learn to have less anger toward children . . . 161
Try It 5 Discipline without words . . . 195
Try It 6 Discipline with stories . . . p.207
Try It 7 Discipline through dramas . . . 222
Try It 8 Boost confidence and self-reliance . . . 265
Try It 9 Build emotional support for the family (and give yourself a break). . . 285

Acknowledgements . . . 311
Notes . . . 313
Index . . . 329
Haiku summary

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