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How to Know a Person: The Art of Seeing…
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How to Know a Person: The Art of Seeing Others Deeply and Being Deeply Seen (Random House Large Print) (edition 2023)

by David Brooks (Author)

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275596,214 (4.08)2
Philosophy. Self-Improvement. Sociology. Nonfiction. HTML:A practical, heartfelt guide to the art of truly knowing another person in order to foster deeper connections at home, at work, and throughout our lives—from the #1 New York Times bestselling author of The Road to Character and The Second Mountain
As David Brooks observes, “There is one skill that lies at the heart of any healthy person, family, school, community organization, or society: the ability to see someone else deeply and make them feel seen—to accurately know another person, to let them feel valued, heard, and understood.”
And yet we humans don’t do this well. All around us are people who feel invisible, unseen, misunderstood. In How to Know a Person, Brooks sets out to help us do better, posing questions that are essential for all of us: If you want to know a person, what kind of attention should you cast on them? What kind of conversations should you have? What parts of a person’s story should you pay attention to?
Driven by his trademark sense of curiosity and his determination to grow as a person, Brooks draws from the fields of psychology and neuroscience and from the worlds of theater, philosophy, history, and education to present a welcoming, hopeful, integrated approach to human connection. How to Know a Person helps readers become more understanding and considerate toward others, and to find the joy that comes from being seen. Along the way it offers a possible remedy for a society that is riven by fragmentation, hostility, and misperception.
The act of seeing another person, Brooks argues, is profoundly creative: How can we look somebody in the eye and see something large in them, and in turn, see something larger in ourselves? How to Know a Person is for anyone searching for connection, and yearning to be understood.
… (more)
Member:lizcovart
Title:How to Know a Person: The Art of Seeing Others Deeply and Being Deeply Seen (Random House Large Print)
Authors:David Brooks (Author)
Info:Random House Large Print (2023), Edition: Large type / Large print, 432 pages
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How to Know a Person: The Art of Seeing Others Deeply and Being Deeply Seen by David Brooks

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Brooks is an excellent popularizer of social psych and social wisdom. Not a lit review, but a survey of the ways we can know others and the ways we avoid knowing and being known. Richly elaborated with examples from friends, from his reading, and from his own life. A very thoughtful book that is offered as an antidote for our alienated and polarized age. ( )
  brianstagner | Feb 28, 2024 |
The first two-thirds were a bit dull. Read like a smart person's "How to Win Friends" book, but with updated data, anecdotes, and references. However, I found the last third incredibly valuable and useful in his discussion of personality types. After dismissing Meyers-Briggs as fun but frivolous, he launches into a powerful explanation of how important it is that the world is made up of various personality types. But he also makes a beautiful and empathetic case for valuing each type of personality fully--with all its strengths and flaws. It's a clear and attainable approach to practicing real empathy. It's an idea that I'll be chewing on for quite some time. I highly recommend this book! ( )
  trauman | Feb 6, 2024 |
I chose this book because I admire David Brooks more than just about any other political writer/commentator of our time. And that might be a bit unusual since he is considered a “conservative pundit.” At least he used to be considered that. I am probably on the opposite side of that political continuum. These days most people see Brooks as a middle of the road commentator more than a partisan one. That’s because he is so wise. This book ostensibly attempts to teach its reader to learn to be better at getting to know our fellow man and woman in ways most of us never really thought about. It is very prescriptive with a plethora of anecdotes and references. The notes section is excellent with easy hyper links back to the text they refer to in the book. All of that said, as a 73-year-old retiree, I almost wish Brooks had made this a 20-minute TED talk rather than a full blown book. Perhaps if I were still working and were 30 years younger, I would feel differently. I guess maybe I see myself as being beyond hope of long term improvement of my people skills. I could see Brooks’ book being used in social science class at the college level, and maybe it is. I think in that context it would be valuable. Anytime I see David Brooks’ name as a guest anywhere, I sit up and pay attention. That is just how important what he has to say is. David Brooks is something of a national treasure. ( )
  FormerEnglishTeacher | Jan 8, 2024 |
Mr. Brooks has written a discussion of his approach to knowing about listening and talking to people. He has interest in the topic for many years both because of his own introversion and because of his career in journalism. The book is organized into general principles, communicating with people in various difficult and crisis situations, and a third part of assorted other ways to know people. The book is largely a self-help guide and contains a lot of advice that mostly seems good. At times I would agree with the author that it is wise.

What struck me negatively is what is negative in many self-help books; it is heavily referenced with ideas and quotes from famous psychologists and psychological studies. These ideas are often interesting, but many are non-scientific in that they cannot be tested, or, at least, have not been tested. So they amount to a number of ideas that Brooks has collected over the years because they please him or support his approach to things, but they often seem superficial or a small part of a much larger field of study. The studies I’m familiar with are not well-served this way, and their use reminded me of the Monty Python routine about the BBC show on how to play the flute. Blow in this end and move your fingers up and down on the stops.

There is discussion of personality types, but Freud is ignored (he is briefly mentioned as having been neurotic), perhaps because he dealt with psychopathology. Yet others with profoundly kooky ideas (e.g., Carl Jung) are quoted when needed. They are in the style of ... As a famous person once said, “Buy low and sell high”.

The author repeats the popular criticism of the Myers-Briggs personality classification as being scientifically unsound, but the alternative Five Factor Model is presented as a sound tested classification. These two systems have been shown to be highly correlated.

Finally, the author ends his book with a few pages of self-criticism, but he must realize that should he manage to become the Buddha, others would find him insufferable. ( )
  markm2315 | Nov 20, 2023 |
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Philosophy. Self-Improvement. Sociology. Nonfiction. HTML:A practical, heartfelt guide to the art of truly knowing another person in order to foster deeper connections at home, at work, and throughout our lives—from the #1 New York Times bestselling author of The Road to Character and The Second Mountain
As David Brooks observes, “There is one skill that lies at the heart of any healthy person, family, school, community organization, or society: the ability to see someone else deeply and make them feel seen—to accurately know another person, to let them feel valued, heard, and understood.”
And yet we humans don’t do this well. All around us are people who feel invisible, unseen, misunderstood. In How to Know a Person, Brooks sets out to help us do better, posing questions that are essential for all of us: If you want to know a person, what kind of attention should you cast on them? What kind of conversations should you have? What parts of a person’s story should you pay attention to?
Driven by his trademark sense of curiosity and his determination to grow as a person, Brooks draws from the fields of psychology and neuroscience and from the worlds of theater, philosophy, history, and education to present a welcoming, hopeful, integrated approach to human connection. How to Know a Person helps readers become more understanding and considerate toward others, and to find the joy that comes from being seen. Along the way it offers a possible remedy for a society that is riven by fragmentation, hostility, and misperception.
The act of seeing another person, Brooks argues, is profoundly creative: How can we look somebody in the eye and see something large in them, and in turn, see something larger in ourselves? How to Know a Person is for anyone searching for connection, and yearning to be understood.

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amazon ca :As David Brooks observes, “There is one skill that lies at the heart of any healthy person, family, school, community organization, or society: the ability to see someone else deeply and make them feel seen—to accurately know another person, to let them feel valued, heard, and understood.”

And yet we humans don't do this well. All around us are people who feel invisible, unseen, misunderstood. In How to Know a Person, Brooks sets out to help us do better, posing questions that are essential for all of us: If you want to know a person, what kind of attention should you cast on them? What kind of conversations should you have? What parts of a person's story should you pay attention to?
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