I'm not really sure how I feel about this one, and I might not ever be. Though interesting, the premise was strange and I'm unsure what I gained from reading this.

The concept of this book was lovely and I enjoyed the plot of the story the entire way through.

Jenna--Jennifer--was an intriguing character, who had changed drastically from elementary school to become a seemingly self-assured and confident teenager. She was perpetually worried about people finding out how she'd been in elementary school, which I didn't really understand, but the barrier this created between her and other people was interesting.

I loved her relationship with Ethan and with each of her friends, who definitely felt like they were each people instead of wooden characters meant to fill the cafeteria tables. Her mother and step-father also were fascinating.

Cameron felt a little ethereal. I enjoyed his backstory and how he had come to be in the town, but I spent half of the book wondering when this was going to turn into a vampire book so I think I might have missed the point.

My biggest issue with this book was the whole incident with Cameron's father that took place. I can't really give any spoilers here, because it was left too ambiguous and I'm not quite sure why it was such a big deal and what exactly happened. Am I just insensitive? I'm not sure. I feel like if I'd grasped that more, I'd add a star to this review, but not knowing this really made me struggle to understand the intensity of Cameron and Jenna's relationship.

But overall, there were some really strong moments in this book, such as Jenna emphasising how hard it is to remember things and how important it is to her that she not lose her memories of that what once was important. Zarr's characters were extremely strong for this type of book.

I recommend this for someone looking to read about friendship and perseverance in growing as a person. ( )

http://teensniper.tumblr.com/post/48381214637/150-books-in-2013-35 ( )

This book was very well written, but it was depressing. I wouldn't recommend it for younger teens, as it's really quite dark and doesn't have what I would call a happy ending.

I also found the protagonist unsympathetic as a character. While accepting that she had been damaged by her past, her present persona just didn't appeal to me.

Jennifer Harris now Jenna Vaughn and Cameron Quick used to be best friends as children. They were the outcasts. Jenna used to be bullied for her lisp and because he was chubby. She would cry a lot which inevitably gave the bullies more fuel to their fire calling her Cry Baby. She like Cameron had a tough home life. Well maybe not as much as Cameron... Jenna's mom is never home. She spent hours without her and when she really needed her she couldn't go to her. She has no father and no one else. She is alone.

Cameron has a similar situation in which he is also alone. His home life is tougher. You get a piece of it when Jenna slowly starts to tell you the story of her ninth birthday at his house with his father. And then soon afterwards he disappeared. Just. Like. That. But now he has suddenly reappeared. That boy who loved her. That boy who cared for her. That boy who made her feel safe. But now Jennifer is Jenna. She has a stepdad and she lives in a nice house, has friends, and even has a boyfriend. She's also skinny and will always watch her weight, what she wants to say (mainly that she's not always happy like her boyfriend wants her to be), and that she'll always smile even when she wants to cry. She is shocked when discovering that Cameron's back. He's supposed to be dead. And with him comes a whole set of feelings that she thought was left behind with her nine year old self. And now he wants to relive it.

This was a great book. When you finish it you start to contemplate life. But there is also this wanting more at the end. It had some "unfinished business" that needed to be addressed. First Jenna herself. She completely changed her name and at the end it was like she was okay with it. Maybe now that I think about it it did address it a little. It did say that maybe this was her now. But it was very vague. Also the food. She did start to eat more when Cameron came and let herself indulge in some things but it also was not really addressed. Those things could have added more to this otherwise great book. But I have to complain about the end before I continue. Well.. I have to be more specific now. The relationship at the end. It was so ridiculous how it ended. Can't say more without giving anything away.

So other than that it was quite good. There was the mystery of what happened on her birthday, her mother frustrating the hell out of me, and Cameron himself. Cameron was so weird. But I think he was always quiet like that. It was just weird seeing him in Jenna's world. The ring was odd too. It sent mix signals for the obvious reasons as well as it was kind of stalkerish creepy... Now Jenna and her boyfriend.... she spoke her mind once. Everything she said I was totally agreeing with her on. It was a pretty memorable moment that would make all women out there go "yeah!" So even though I've complained a bunch about the book know that all around it was really great.

http://shesgotbooksonhermind.blogspot.com/ ( )

I'm just going to go ahead and get my complaint out there so I can move on to what is great about this book. The book takes place in Salt Lake City, Utah. I would be lying if I said that there isn't this weird perception about Salt Lake. I, myself, had it. Because the Mormon pioneers settled in this region there is this perception that it is full of Mormons and they are complete jerks to anyone who isn't a Mormon. That may have been the case at one point and I certainly felt that way in the 90s when I first lived here. However, I really do think things have changed in a big way since then. Sure, the local government is swayed by the Mormon culture, but in what area is it not true that religion sways things? Throughout this book there were little, random jabs towards the Mormon population of Salt Lake that really had no place in the story except to demonstrate that the author was or had at one point struggled with that aspect of the culture.

Moving on. As a child I moved a lot and had people constantly coming in and out of my life. Sometimes I can't help but wonder what some of those people are doing now and if they ever think about me. I liked that Cameron and Jenna were childhood friends and even though he moved far away he always wondered about Jenna and wanted her in his life again. What I hated was the fact that Jenna's mother couldn't be honest with her about Cameron. How is it easier to let your child think that their best friend died a tragic death? Worst mother of the year award right there.

I'm beginning to realize that I seem to have mostly complaints pertaining to this novel. Instead of going on and on about those, I just want to mention that I did read this book in one sitting. I think that says something. The author is talented and her writing does keep you engaged. However, these characters and this story just didn't quite do it for me. I do plan on checking out something else written by Sara Zarr. ( )