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Are You There, Vodka? It's Me, Chelsea by…
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Are You There, Vodka? It's Me, Chelsea (edition 2009)

by Chelsea Handler

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2,431983,829 (3.57)47
Member:BibliophileG
Title:Are You There, Vodka? It's Me, Chelsea
Authors:Chelsea Handler
Info:Gallery (2009), Edition: 1 Reprint, Paperback, 272 pages
Collections:Your library
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Are You There, Vodka? It's Me, Chelsea by Chelsea Handler

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Showing 1-5 of 98 (next | show all)
Absolutely hilarious! ( )
  bookishblond | Oct 24, 2018 |
Are You There, Vodka? It's Me, Chelsea
By Chelsea Handler
2008
Simon Spotlight

Any Chelsea fans out there? Whether you love her or loath her, you will definitely react to her humor. And this collection of essays is typical Chelsea. She is mean.....nasty.....insincere.....a shit storm on the horizon. Her cold and unfeeling slant really brings home the humor and .....you will love her or hate her......it's hard not to laugh. We have all been there! The humor will offend some......
I liked this, overall but the best essays were the first 3. And chapter 10, in my humble opinion.
Interesting quotes:
Chapter 2: Chelsea In Charge
P.20
" I have always been suspicious, but from that moment on, I knew without a doubt that my parents and I were not on the same page. We weren't even in the same book."
P.27
"There was more adult supervision at the Neverland Ranch than there was in my house growing up. When a week before my fourth birthday, my parents told me to plan my own birthday party -I knew I was pretty much on my own."
Chapter 3:Prison Break
P..57
"It was quickly becoming apparent to me that this situation was much more serious than I realized. This was turning into a full blown episode of 'SuvivorWoman:Women of The Outback'. Not only were some of these women behaving like wild indians, but looking around the room, I knew that if I had any hopes of blending in, I would have no choice but to get a tattoo. " ( )
  over.the.edge | Sep 16, 2018 |
This girl is really funny on TV: raunchy, but not gross, it just is better on TV. Reading it requires me to imagine her delivery, and that is a strain. It is astill funny, but not as funny as watching her tell these stories live! ( )
  Rdra1962 | Aug 1, 2018 |
The chapter on dog sitting alone was worth reading this book. ( )
  CSDaley | Mar 28, 2018 |
I think I am not her target audience... ( )
  Kim_Sasso | Mar 14, 2018 |
Showing 1-5 of 98 (next | show all)
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To my mother.

I love you, chunky monkey.
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Amazon.com Product Description (ISBN 0743573641, Audio CD)

In My Horizontal Life, actress and stand-up comedian Chelsea Handler boldly recounted her one-night stands-the good, the bad, and the disastrous. In this wickedly honest new work, she casts the net wider with even funnier results, recalling the most noteworthy highs and lows of her life to date--including her efforts to diversify by dating red-haired men, her obsession with midgets, and the dog-sitting interlude in which her boyfriend became overly familiar with a Peekapoo.

Whether it's a vacation with her dad during which he tells airline staff they're a honeymoon couple in order to get an upgrade, or her elaborate attempts to convince her third-grade classmates that she's starring in a Private Benjamin sequel, Chelsea lets it rip in these relentlessly entertaining essays. Displaying the candor and irresistible turn of phrase that have earned her a recurring stint as a correspondent on The Tonight Show as well as her own E! series, Chelsea Lately, this deliciously skewed collection is a guilty pleasure.

(retrieved from Amazon Thu, 12 Mar 2015 18:17:59 -0400)

(see all 3 descriptions)

When Chelsea Handler needs to get a few things off her chest, she appeals to a higher power--vodka. Welcome to Chelsea's world--a place where absurdity reigns supreme and a quick wit is the best line of defense. In this collection, Chelsea mines her past for stories about her family, relationships, and career that are at once singular and ridiculous. Whether she's convincing her third-grade class that she has been tapped to play Goldie Hawn's daughter in the sequel to Private Benjamin, deciding to be more egalitarian by dating a redhead, or looking out for a foulmouthed, rum-swilling little person who looks just like her, only smaller, Chelsea has a knack for getting herself into the most outrageous situations. --From publisher description.… (more)

(summary from another edition)

» see all 3 descriptions

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