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Love the One You're With

by Emily Giffin

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2,219764,876 (3.4)36
Ellen and Andy's marriage doesn't just seem perfect, it is perfect. There is no question how deep their devotion is, and how naturally they bring out the best in each other. But one fateful afternoon, Ellen runs into Leo for the first time in eight years. Leo, the one who brought out the worst in her. Leo, the one who left her heartbroken with no explanation. Leo, the one she could never quite forget. When his reappearance ignites long-dormant emotions, Ellen begins to question whether the life she's living is the one she's meant to live.… (more)
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» See also 36 mentions

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Showing 1-5 of 75 (next | show all)
Emily Giffin has certainly matured as an author. A novel with clever interpersonal dynamics, simmering passions, and spot-on cultural references, "Love the One You're With" is a bit more than a beach read, though it's certainly that. The conflict was well-fleshed-out and believable; it shows the "problem with no name" is not confined to yesteryear; the discussions of Ellen's sexual desires were frank without being Harlequiny/squeamish. The last 5% of the book was disappointing, but I'd recommend it overall. ( )
  charlyk | Nov 15, 2019 |
While there were several laughs, it was painful to read this - to have this woman in such inner turmoil. I loved her first 2 books best (Something Borrowed and Something Blue). ( )
  rmarcin | Jan 22, 2019 |
On the one hand, I was upset at the end of this book, on the other side the ending made perfect sense.

Am I making any sense my self?

As someone who loves novels, I wouldn't want it to end the way it did, But isn't that what real life is all about?

All in all, I would describe this book in three words: cute, sad, and realistic. ( )
  Denizhorowits | Jan 14, 2019 |
While I was listening I kept thinking, ugh I hate this book! What is wrong with this woman?! Then I got to the end and listened to the interview Giffen gave and I finally understood. She mentioned that no one wants to read about a boring character with the perfect life or a stepford wife. It's far more interesting to examine different aspects of the relationships around you. At that moment everything clicked for me and I realized that she is absolutely correct!

This book does a really great job at examining the dilemma what if the one who got away somehow came back? You know, the person with whom you never quite got closure. What would you do? How would you handle the situation?

While I'm not particularly fond of the path Ellen chose along the way, I kind of get it. This is a book that will keep you reading and will have you looking at your own life and the relationships you have or have had along the way.

Excellent read. ( )
  Emma_Manolis | Jun 27, 2017 |
I surprisingly like this book. I found out about the author's research for the plot and it surprised me, too. I know some readers hate this for the theme of plot but I think it becomes good when it is written nicely. Griffin did. Let's face it, it happens in real life. No relationship is perfect. No one can make decisions in clean cut. What a boring life you have if you do not make mistakes.

It was fine for Ellen to be confused. Her feelings are valid. Society is partial when men have affairs because they're men; when women stumble with this situation, they always perceive her as a bad person. For me, however, Ellen did not really cross the line. She needed to take the job with her ex because it was an opportunity for her career to grow (although she harbored other feelings) and kissed him. But she redeemed herself in the end. And that's what matters. ( )
  phoibee | Apr 23, 2017 |
Showing 1-5 of 75 (next | show all)
Giffin strings the story along, making the reader hold on just a few more pages for the scandal to finally unfold. Unfortunately, she never really delivers. The drama in the story doesn’t come from anything actually happening. It really only comes from the main character blowing events out of proportion. As in an episode of Full House, nothing bad ever would have happened if Ellen had been honest from the beginning.
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For my sweet Harriet
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It happened exactly one hundred days after I married Andy, almost to the minute of our half-past-three-o'clock ceremony.
Looks like you found yourself a solid, Checkers-playing, Cheerios-eating, God-fearing, glass-half-full kinda guy.
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A chance encounter with an old flame in Giffin's bittersweet, sometimes mawkish fourth novel causes Ellen Dempsey to consider anew what could have been. Shortly after marrying Andy, Ellen runs into Leo, her intense first love. Leo, a moody writer, has secretly preoccupied Ellen ever since he broke her heart, so after seeing him again, Ellen wonders if her perfect life is truly what she wants or simply what she was expected to want. This scenario is complicated by Ellen's past: the early death of her mother and subsequent disintegration of her family have left Ellen insecure and saddled with unresolved feelings of guilt. These feelings intensify when Andy's career takes the newlyweds from Ellen's beloved New York City to suburban Atlanta. As Ellen's feelings of inadequacy and resentment grow, her marriage begins to crumble.
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