The Abbess of Crewe (1974)

by Muriel Spark

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The short dirk in the hands of Muriel Spark has always been a deadly weapon," said The New York Times, and "never more so than in The Abbess of Crewe." An elegant little fable about intrigue, corruption, and electronic surveillance, The Abbess of Crewe is set in an English Benedictine convent. Steely and silky Abbess Alexandra (whose aristocratic tastes run to pate, fine wine, English poetry, and carpets of "amorous green") has bugged the convent, and rigged her election. But the cat gets out of the bag, and - plunged into scandal - the serene Abbess faces a Vatican inquiry. "… (more)

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Scandal rocks the abbey. But is the infelicitous affair of Felicity and her Jesuit Thomas the source or the object of the scandal? And why have all the bugs in the abbey garden turned out to be electronic? And what of the new Lady Abbess, Alexandra, and her love of Popish English poetry? It all sounds perfectly preposterous. And yet…

Muriel Spark is clearly having a fine time setting her epoch (and that of the Watergate scandal) alight. As ever, it is another sparkling tour de force. But it may not have much lasting significance beyond it’s narrow temporal target, because after Watergate who could imagine that level of buffoonery seeping into the upper echelons of power? … Well, maybe it does have a more lasting irony after all.

In any case, it is a bit of fun and can easily be gently recommended. (

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RandyMetcalfe | Apr 18, 2022 |

I didn’t know anything about this small book when I grabbed it at the used bookstore, other than it was by Muriel Spark, which was enough. I started to figure out what it was when I found myself making the following marginal notes:

Sister Winifrede=Haldeman

Sr Walburga=Erlichman

And then later:

Sr Gertrude=Kissinger?

Jesuit students=Cubans, Liddy, et al.

Yes, it is in fact a satire of Watergate, the action transposed into the election for a new abbess. From a contemporaneous review: “Muriel Spark is the first writer to demonstrate that Watergate and its attendant immoralities are materials not of tragedy, but of farce.”

Very funny. Recommended. (

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k6gst | Sep 13, 2019 |

http://tamaranth.blogspot.com/2018/06/201832-abbess-of-crewe-muriel-spark.html (

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tamaranth | Jul 20, 2018 |

The Abbess of Crewe is a Firbankian romp set in a Benedictine religious community in England, which rather bizarrely turns out to be a satire of Nixon and the Watergate scandal. The nuns have to elect a successor to the late Abbess Hildegard, and the two main candidates are Sister Felicity, who stands for love, peace and needlework, and doesn't take the vow of chastity quite literally, and Sister Alexandra, who runs the sisters' electronics laboratory and has an unrivalled collection of incriminating tape recordings. When a couple of Jesuit novices are commissioned to break into the sewing-room in search of documents and they overreach themselves by stealing Sister Felicity's silver thimble, it becomes hard to keep the resulting scandal out of the papers.

There's also a Kissinger-like nun, Sister Gertrude, who trots the globe propagating the faith through the little tribal wars she organises in remote countries, and Sister Alexandra turns out to have a fatal weakness for English poetry - in the end it's a provocative citation from Milton that is responsible for losing her the support of the Roman Curia. So a lot of fun, some clever wordplay, but not a huge amount of substance. (

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thorold | Jan 10, 2018 |

I'm not sure why Spark thought it was a good idea to replay Watergate in a convent. Not recommended. (

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amanda4242 | Dec 3, 2015 |

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Author name	Role	Type of author	Work?	Status
Spark, Muriel	—	primary author	all editions	confirmed
Pariser, Van	Cover photograph	secondary author	some editions	confirmed
Smith, Ali	Introduction	secondary author	some editions	confirmed
Taylor, Alan	Foreword	secondary author	some editions	confirmed

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Polygon Muriel Spark Centenary Edition (13)

Volk und Welt Spektrum (109)

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Muriel Spark Omnibus 2 by Muriel Spark

Muriel Spark Omnibus 1 & 2 by Muriel Spark (indirect)

Spark's Satire by Muriel Spark

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Canonical title

The Abbess of Crewe

Original title

The abbess of Crewe

Alternative titles

Original publication date

1974

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Important events

Related movies

Nasty Habits (1977 | IMDb)

Epigraph

Come let us mock at the great
That had such burdens on the mind
And toiled so hard and late
To leave some monument behind,
Nor thought of the levelling wind...

Mock mockers after that
That would not lift a hand maybe
To help good, wise or great
To bar that foul storm out, for we
Traffic in mockery.

From W B Yeats, 'Nineteen Hundred and Nineteen'

Dedication

First words

'What is wrong, Sister Winifrede,' says the Abbess, clear and loud to the receptive air, 'with the traditional keyhole method?'

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▾Book descriptions

The short dirk in the hands of Muriel Spark has always been a deadly weapon," said The New York Times, and "never more so than in The Abbess of Crewe." An elegant little fable about intrigue, corruption, and electronic surveillance, The Abbess of Crewe is set in an English Benedictine convent. Steely and silky Abbess Alexandra (whose aristocratic tastes run to pate, fine wine, English poetry, and carpets of "amorous green") has bugged the convent, and rigged her election. But the cat gets out of the bag, and - plunged into scandal - the serene Abbess faces a Vatican inquiry. "

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An election has been held at the Abbey of Crewe. The new Lady Abbess takes up her high office with implacable serenity. She expected to win one way or the other.

But her defeated rival has not lost gracefully. She alleges electoral chicanery, and the scandal-scenting media swing into righteous action. Meanwhile in every corner of the beseiged convent (not forgetting the poplars which line the Avenue of Meditation) hidden microphones silently record successful layers of cover-ups, put-ons and pay-offs. It is a situation not without its echoes....

With cold efficiency Sister Walburga, the prioress, and Sister Mildred, the novice mistress, ('Two of the finest nuns I have ever had the privilege to know') have made the Abbey hum like a kind of Gregorian dynamo; Sister Winifrede, possessor of 'a mind where no dawn breaks', runs the errands ('The scandal stops at Sister Winifrede,' says the Abbess); Sister Gertrude is forever abroad, processing miracles of ecumenical reconciliation and reporting to the Abbess via the green telephone.

Parallel after parallel slides wickedly into place as Muriel Spark's hilarious new novel transfigures a marvellously telling satire into a luminous and universal parable.

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