Riveting and sooooo applicable. ( )

Not as concise as the first book, and since much of it was similar (especially reading them back to back) it was clear they were trying to flesh it out and make it feel worthwhile. It does address a different situation than crucial conversations, so it has its value. It could have been better written, however. The flow and headers were not as clear, for example it was hard to separate main points from subpoints because the hierarchy in the headers was non-existent or too obscure. ( )

This book takes the principles from Crucial Conversations and applies them specifically to confrontational situations. The words ‘conversation’ and ‘confrontation’ are rather easy to get confused. At least for me.
‘Confrontation,’ per CConf’s use, denotes a simple (i.e., value neutral) assessment of one’s expectation of what another is supposed to do versus one’s observation of that other has actually done.

In other words, the skill of confrontation is useful in all walks of life, at all times, for all people, when any person x has an expectation that any person y should do something. That’s it.

In practice, however, the matter of dealing with one’s expectations of others and one’s observations of how others perform or make good on these expectations takes place in a complete welter of confused and confusing emotions. This is why it’s so hard to deal with confrontation in a straight-forward manner.

Take, for instance, the word ‘observation.’ Nothing could be more simple, right? I observe x. That’s all. I see, I observe, x does or exists or whatever. Very straightforward, right?

Except, of course, ‘observation’ doesn’t take place in some empirical, sterile lab of perfect objectivity; ‘observation’ takes place within my own heated, humid skull. For instance, what if I didn’t get a good night’s sleep the two nights prior to my observation of x? Thus I’m not only in a bad mood, but I’m confused about the genesis of my bad mood. Moreover, what if x, through no fault of her own, bears a distinct physical resemblance to some childhood enemy of mine? What if I’m not even aware of this because my childhood enemy was a male and x is a female. I.e., my conflation of x with ‘hated childhood enemy’ is entirely subtle; so subtle, in fact, that all I’m aware of when observing x is that I feel like she’s in some fundamental but inexplicable way violating me? &c, &c.

What a mess, right?

But there’s hope: read Crucial Confrontations and learn how to transcend your own heated, perfervidly biased point of view! Yay!

But good luck remembering what you’ve read -- especially so when the monkey brain of deep-seated emotion starts up with the screeching for emotional-comfort bananas (which bananas in my case most often present as persistent grudges that I find both delicious and necessary to my psychic survival).

My good friend Sue Chappell (and her son, Brent) arranged for me to take the two-day Crucial Confrontations seminar at their Provo, UT offices. That seminar in conjunction with the audiobook (which was this review's subject) were absolutely transformative for me in this one specific regard (because I’ve pretty much forgotten everything else): I learned to ask myself a question when confronted by someone’s inexplicably bad or crazy or inappropriate or horrific behavior. I learned to ask myself this one question: “Why would a perfectly rational person behave like x?”

This is a brilliant question because in attempting to answer it, I’m forced to view the situation from the other person’s point of view. And of course once I’ve seen or comprehended the other person’s point of view, I feel differently about what they’re doing.

It’s the ‘feeling differently’ about x’s behavior that’s made all the difference, too.

So thanks Sue and Brent, if you happen to read this. ( )

Crucial Confrontations is one of those resources that does a superb job of preparing the reader to apply what they have learned. I used this model effectively in an on-the-job situation, and I have recommended it to fellow employees who have used this approach successfully after reading and applying the techniques that are well-presented. As an Employee Development Coordinator, I highly recommend this resource, as its proven effectiveness makes it a top-rate application for those touchy situations where you must confront the issues in a positive and powerful manner. ( )

Book delivers on the art of how to engage in crucial confrontations. If done correctly it is a win-win for everyone. The alternative is never pretty. There are plenty examples from business to family that everyone can relate to. ( )