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Refuse to Choose!: Use All of Your…
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Refuse to Choose!: Use All of Your Interests, Passions, and Hobbies to Create the Life and Career of Your Dreams (original 2006; edition 2007)

by Barbara Sher

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5671842,093 (4.04)6
Lifestyle coach Sher discusses the "Scanner"--someone who frequently has a multiplicity of interests, but finds it hard to create a successful life, because their passions and abilities are taking them in so many different directions. Sher identifies seven types of Scanners--ranging from the Serial Specialist (someone who learns all about one subject, only to get bored and need to move on to the next) to Sybil (a person with so many areas of interest, she can't finish a thing). Sher counsels Scanners that theirs is a unique ability, not a liability, and contends that Scanners must do everything they love, not zero in on one pursuit at the expense of all others. She offers techniques to free people from "goal paralysis," and shows how people can stop thinking of themselves as dabblers or dilettantes and find innovative ways to live lives of variety, challenge and joy.--From publisher description.… (more)
Member:citygirlbooks
Title:Refuse to Choose!: Use All of Your Interests, Passions, and Hobbies to Create the Life and Career of Your Dreams
Authors:Barbara Sher
Info:Rodale Books (2007), Paperback, 288 pages
Collections:Your library
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Refuse to Choose!: Use All of Your Interests, Passions, and Hobbies to Create the Life and Career of Your Dreams by Barbara Sher (2006)

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» See also 6 mentions

Showing 1-5 of 17 (next | show all)
Finally! A book about people like me. I’ve spent my entire adult life thinking there was something wrong with me. If I could just find my main passion, the one thing I was going to be amazing at and be able to stick with, then I could be successful. Only it never happened. Occasionally I thought I found it, and my engagement would last a while - sometimes years - making me think this was it. But inevitably the excitement would fizzle, and I’d find myself completely engaged in something else. I’d start to think that maybe that was what I was meant to do… until I woke up one morning and found all my enthusiasm for that new sure thing completely gone. So what on earth was wrong with me?

According to Barbara Sher, absolutely nothing! (Imagine my relief!) I am apparently a “Scanner”, someone who loves “to read and write, to fix and invent things, to design projects and businesses, to cook and sing, and to create the perfect dinner party… To Scanners the world is like a big candy store full of fascinating opportunities, and all they want is to reach out and stuff their pockets.” Yes, that definitely sounds like me.

Barbara Sher then goes on to describe the various kinds of Scanners (apparently we’re not all the same), what makes them tick, how they get themselves into trouble, and what tools they can use to make the most of their abilities. She also talks at length about career choices for the various types of scanners, something that’s extremely important for those of us who feel like we can’t stick to anything long-term.

All in all, this is a fascinating book that opened my eyes to many things I didn’t realize about myself. ( )
  Elizabeth_Cooper | Oct 27, 2023 |
Read this based on a recommendation from metafilter when I needed to stop feeling guilt and shame about my useless hobbies and diverse interests. Turns out, they are not useless; in fact, they enrich your life and energize you, instead of wasting "your time". Managed to pick my random interests back up again, and the daybook idea definitely helped start that process (though I didn't stick to it, I still find the practice of writing out any fleeting idea as if I'm going to execute it on a down day to be super helpful, and do it to this day. Turns out, sometimes exploring an idea is all you need to do now). ( )
  womanwoanswers | Dec 23, 2022 |
I’ve had this book forever, but I’m glad to finally read it through a recent audiobook recording. I loved it as the author (RIP) really gets it, and even though the term “Scanner” isn’t a fave, I definitely am one in all its glory. This really got me thinking more about options and what I can do with my endless desire to learn more; it’s a bit outdated (sad considering it’s only sixteen years old) but still full of wonderful information and anecdotes for those of us who need it. ( )
  spinsterrevival | Nov 11, 2022 |
Notes I took while reading:

Scanner Daybook
- left page, write today's date & title of idea
- jot down ideas, can do stream of consciousness, journal-style
- when you have tangent ideas, right page, draw a line from left and write down any tangents
- then return to original idea
- can add in printouts, drawings, etc
- write in it every day for a couple weeks
- make a "what have i done so far" list (in scanner daybook)

Wall Calendar
- large sheet of paper, draw 6 boxes = 6 years
- list all the things you wanna do
- assign each thing a different colour
- draw bands of colour in 6 boxes to assign when you hope to do them
(helps you plan & be assured you'll get to everything)

LTTL Strategy - learn, try, teach, leave

Big List
- list everything you want to do (don't list things like "african history, asian history, etc") - only list actual things you would enjoy spending time with
- everything you've done already
- everything you wish you could do for the first time
- everything you wish you'd be doing in years to come
- everything you'd like to do once or twice only
- you have to sit with eyes closed for a minute or so and imagine yourself doing the activity in real time (you can also write this down "I am opening my history book...")
- if the fantasy feels good, put it on the list
- you'll probably have at the most 100 activities
- alternatively, keep a list in your scanner daybook of things you don't want to do

- imagine yourself doing it, picture the environment, picure what you do (eg. are you learning in a university lecture hall? are you doing it in a social group or on your own? are you just talking to a historian at a museum?) - figure out what it is you want, you don't necessarily need tospend a lot of time to be satisfied
- what do you really want to know about the topic?
- what would you most enjoy doing with the information?
- who would you love to talk to about this subject if it could be anyone?
- make a note of actual time required (eg. a talk = 20min, university lecture = 1 semester, etc)

Interest Index Binder
- binder for each interest, put relevant print outs, magazine pages, notes, etc. in it

Backward Planning Flowchart
- start with what you want with a deadline
- ask yourself, can i achieve that goal right now? what do I need to do it?
- draw lines from your goal with circles of the things you need (mindmap)
- look at each thing you need, is it possible right now? what do you need for those things?
- keep going until you reach something you can do now (first step towards goal)
- add a date to do the first step & do it!
- if you don't want to do it = reveals where your fears are
- get some help with first step if necessary (friends, etc)

Reality Research
- for facing fears
- if your fear is "What if no one wants to read the novel I want to write?"
- that's not a helpful question
- instead, ask "what's the best way to get an answer to the above question?"
- eg. see if people would like it by showing them a sample
- you'd need to write a chapter (sample) and table of contents and description
- then you can show people (and now you've written a book proposal!) ( )
  serru | Oct 6, 2022 |
Fantastic!! ( )
  mizbooks | May 19, 2022 |
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I wish someone would just shake me and tell me exactly what to do with my life. I hate getting excited over something and being reminded by a well-meaning friend of all other things I've tried and failed. Will I ever actually get to use what's inside me? Will anyone know I was here? Charlotte, a Scanner.

Through all the world there goes one long cry from the heart of the artist: Only give me the chance to do my very best! Isak Dinesen
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To my grandson Leo
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I should have realized I wasn't a normal student my first week of college, when I looked at the catalog of classes and started to cry.
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Lifestyle coach Sher discusses the "Scanner"--someone who frequently has a multiplicity of interests, but finds it hard to create a successful life, because their passions and abilities are taking them in so many different directions. Sher identifies seven types of Scanners--ranging from the Serial Specialist (someone who learns all about one subject, only to get bored and need to move on to the next) to Sybil (a person with so many areas of interest, she can't finish a thing). Sher counsels Scanners that theirs is a unique ability, not a liability, and contends that Scanners must do everything they love, not zero in on one pursuit at the expense of all others. She offers techniques to free people from "goal paralysis," and shows how people can stop thinking of themselves as dabblers or dilettantes and find innovative ways to live lives of variety, challenge and joy.--From publisher description.

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