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The marrying kind by Ken O'Neill
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The marrying kind (edition 2012)

by Ken O'Neill (Author)

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585446,451 (3.61)None
Wedding planner Adam More has an epiphany: He has devoted all his life's energy to creating events that he and his partner Steven are forbidden by federal law for having for themselves. So Adam decides to make a change. Organizing a boycott of the wedding industry, Steven and Adam call on gay organists, hairdressers, cater-waiters, priests, and hairdressers everywhere to get out of the business and to stop going to weddings, too. In this screwball, romantic comedy both the movement they've begun and their relationship are put in jeopardy when Steven's brother proposes to Adam's sister and they must decide whether they're attending or sending regrets.… (more)
Member:MDTLibrarian
Title:The marrying kind
Authors:Ken O'Neill (Author)
Info:Valley Falls, N.Y. : Bold Strokes Books, 2012. 1 Kindle file (731 KB, [264] pages).
Collections:Your library, Gay
Rating:****
Tags:Gay men, Same-sex marriage, Wedding planner, Family, Wedding, Manhattan, New York, Journalist, Boycott, Gay activist, read, LCSH in comments

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The Marrying Kind by Ken O'Neill

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People use the acronym “LOL” all the time, but they usually don’t mean it. I laughed out loud twice while reading this book. (Once on the subway, which was mildly embarrassing.) It is THAT funny. Once was a sex joke, and once was a Rosa Parks joke, which gives you the idea of the breadth of the humor in this book. Some of the funny bits are silly and cute. For example, the main characters in this novel are called Adam and Steve (ok, it’s actually “Steven,” but still) and no one in the book ever refers to that fact. It’s a complete throwaway joke. Other funny bits are quite dark, poignant, and Woody Allenish, especially the descriptions of the protagonist’s kooky Romanian mother. I also particularly liked all the classic movie references.

The Marrying Kind is light and fluffy, like a beach read (think Marian Keyes) and yet at the same time is a searing look at inequality and bigotry in our modern life. I was fascinated at the way the story deftly walks the delicate tightrope between flippant and serious. In a nutshell, the book is about a Manhattan wedding planner and his boyfriend who decide that they’re going to boycott all weddings until marriage equality is enacted in the USA—-but then some family members get engaged. The characters are very real and sympathetic, especially the witty but neurotic protagonist Steven. The pacing is nice, and there are a lot of reversals, so that I was kept guessing until the end whether Steven and Adam would attend the family wedding. This is an incredibly accessible and non-threatening way to present a “social issue.” I think even casual straight readers who have never given a thought to gay people will a) be entertained and b) be provoked into thinking about marriage equality (aka “gay marriage.”) ( )
  jollyavis | Dec 14, 2021 |
4.5 stars. A serious topic delivered with plenty of humor, Ken O’Neill’s debut novel The Marrying Kind is a thought-provoking novel that is poignant, funny and quite touching. To read my review in its entirety, please visit http://www.bookreviewsandmorebykathy.com/2012/07/05/the-marrying-kind/ ( )
  kbranfield | Feb 3, 2020 |
This book was so funny, but also very touching. I didn't read it. I devoured it. ( )
  JDRuskin1184 | Jun 9, 2013 |
This novel is able to tell a serious story with a light mood. Adam and Steven are an happy, and privileged, couple: using Steven’s narrative voice, so it’s not that he is telling everything, the reader can, nevertheless, understand that probably Adam is the one with the money, old Mayflower pioneers’s money, and Steven is more or less a kept man. But there is no troubles between them, both Adam and Steven are young and handsome, in a nerdy, next door boy type maybe, but above all they are in love; they are not the party-boys, they have their nice Manhattan’s apartment, 2 kids (spoiled cats…) and good friends. Adam works as wedding planner, using all his wasp background to make every event a memorable one, and Steven is a columnist for a free Gay mag, that accidentally is managed by his former college boyfriend and currently best-friend. So, you see? No troubles.

Not until the day Adam starts to realize that he is planning fabulous wedding parties when he is not allowed, by the law, to marry. It’s not a sudden realization, it’s more like something intruding in his mind, and making him day-by-day uncomfortable and sad. Steven sees the change in Adam, and it worries him. This is what I liked of this couple, and why I consider this novel a very nice romance, the main characters are in tune with each other, they work like a perfect symphony.

I believe this novel is a perfect mix of romance, comedy and even activism. Through Steven’s voice, we listen to the ordinary troubles an apparently happy gay couple have to deal with. There is really nothing against them, they have money, parents and relatives’s support, a satisfying career, if they want they can even adopt or having a child through a surrogate mother, but in any case they feel they are not allowed the same rights as anyone else who is not gay. They feel discrimination, and for them, for Adam in particular, is even worse, since they are indeed part of the “good” society, the privileged society, let’s be sincere, of the society that is supposed to lead, not to follow head-down, someone else command.

I recommend this novel to practically everyone, since it’s romantic but also clever, so it will appeal to the reader searching for entertainment, but also to the one who wants something mind-engaging.

http://www.amazon.com/dp/1602826706/?tag=elimyrevandra-20
  elisa.rolle | Nov 2, 2012 |
Posted on Romancing the Book's blog
Reviewed by Marissa
Review Copy Provided by Netgalley

What an amazing and endearing book! I picked up this book because I thought it sounded like a light-hearted and amusing read. I had no idea…

The narrator, Steven, is not just humorous but laugh-out-loud funny. One of the best running gags is his Romanian heritage. (“Societatea Farsarotul. Say it with me. ‘Sue-she-ta-ta Far-sha-row-tal.’”) When his father walked out on them, his mother declared him dead. Neighbors brought casseroles and the traditional mourning for the Orthodox Church was observed. And she insists (to everyone) that Steven writes for the New York Times (the New York Times) when in fact he writes for a free newspaper called the Gay New York Times. When he shows up, that is.

When Adam realizes that he puts all his energies into planning events that he, himself, is not legally allowed to take part in, he dives head-first into an obsession of boycotting weddings, pulling a slightly unwilling Steven with him. But when his anti-marriage sister finally says yes to Steven’s brother, Adam and Steven end up warring not only between themselves but with almost everyone they know.

I read this book in one sitting because I couldn’t put it down. I had to see what was going to happen to Steven and Adam next. I really hate to use terms like “fun-filled romp” and “a rollicking good time”, but this is exactly what the book is. The writing is heartfelt and sincere, as if the author were telling his own story, while keeping it light and witty. With Orangesicle bridesmaid’s dresses, flying bouquets, and a Marie Antoinette wedding in Jersey, this is one book I recommend you pick up and hold onto.

Favorite Quote: “When I’d told him I’d never had occasion to wear a tux, he studied me like he was Margaret Mead stumbling upon the Polynesians for the first time.”

“I planned to start eating a lot of very fattening food and stop doing any form of exercise. If we ended up in jail, best not to be so cute.” ( )
  RtB | Jul 9, 2012 |
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Wedding planner Adam More has an epiphany: He has devoted all his life's energy to creating events that he and his partner Steven are forbidden by federal law for having for themselves. So Adam decides to make a change. Organizing a boycott of the wedding industry, Steven and Adam call on gay organists, hairdressers, cater-waiters, priests, and hairdressers everywhere to get out of the business and to stop going to weddings, too. In this screwball, romantic comedy both the movement they've begun and their relationship are put in jeopardy when Steven's brother proposes to Adam's sister and they must decide whether they're attending or sending regrets.

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