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Siblings Without Rivalry: How to Help Your Children Live Together So You Can Live Too (1987)

by Adele Faber, Elaine Mazlish

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1,3061714,925 (4.13)16
When parenting authorities Adele Faber and Elaine Mazlish sat down to write the national bestseller How to Talk so Kids Will Listen & Listen So Kids Will Talk, they found that the could not contain their chapter on sibling rivalry. No matter how much they tried to pare down their advice, they found the subject inexhaustible-and parents agreed! Siblings Without Rivalry guides the way to family peace and tranquility with humor and compassion for both parents and children. Action-oriented and easy to understand, it's packed with sensitive yet sensible ways to turn quarreling siblings and frustrated parents into an open, communicative family.… (more)
  1. 00
    How to Talk So Kids Will Listen & Listen So Kids Will Talk by Adele Faber (dchaikin)
    dchaikin: Same authors and structure. Actually, read How to Talk before you read this one.
  2. 00
    "Mom, Jason's Breathing on Me!": The Solution to Sibling Bickering by Anthony Wolf (ann.elizabeth)
    ann.elizabeth: Similar philosophy, written in a similarly easy-to-digest style.
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» See also 16 mentions

English (16)  Czech (1)  All languages (17)
Showing 1-5 of 16 (next | show all)
Siblings Without Rivalry guides the way to family peace and tranquillity with humor and compassion for both parents and children. Illustrated, action-oriented, and easy to understand, it's packed with sensitive yet sensible ways to turn quarreling siblings and frustrated parents into an open, communicative family.
  StFrancisofAssisi | Nov 13, 2023 |
This a great reference book for helping your kids develop healthy relationships with their siblings. Stand-out points to me are:
Encouraging your kids to work out the problem together instead of involving you.
Talk to your kids about specific things you love about them instead of saying to love everyone equally. I love you uniquely, not equally.
Never pigeonhole your kids by saying they are specifically good or bad at something in front of other people. Or pitting your kids against one another by saying the other one is better at something (cleaning up, being on time, doing homework, etc.)
Spend one-on-one time with each kid and don't talk about the other kids during that time. ( )
  bookworm12 | Feb 16, 2023 |
This wise, groundbreaking book gives parents the practical tools they need to cope with conflict, encourage cooperation, reduce competition, and make it possible for children to experience the joys of their special relationship. With humor and understanding―much gained from raising their own children―Faber and Mazlish explain how and when to intervene in fights, provide suggestions on how to help children channel their hostility into creative outlets, and demonstrate how to treat children unequally and still be fair. Selected Reading Questionnaire.
  ACRF | Jul 29, 2021 |
Great book! It reminded me of "The Happiest Kid on the Block". ( )
  Bertha_ | Jun 5, 2020 |
This is a very readable book, with the approach of finding good solutions to sibling problems, and helping children learn to get along without parental interference, wherever possible.

The first chapter is introductory, giving examples of the kinds of problems many parents experience: children fighting, putting each other down, and so on. The rest of the book helps parents to see when it’s appropriate to get involved, and how to see issues from a child's point of view.

While none of the material was new to me (I first read this over twenty years ago), it was a useful reminder about parents’ and other adults' roles in helping children learn to deal with problems that arise. The book is so readable, and so interesting that I read the whole thing, including the supplementary chapters to the 10th anniversary edition, in just a few hours.

The ideas won't necessarily work first time, but are well worth considering if one's current approach is not having any success. I recommend this book highly to any adult dealing with children who can’t get along at all, or who are worn down with children fighting. ( )
  SueinCyprus | May 16, 2016 |
Showing 1-5 of 16 (next | show all)
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Author nameRoleType of authorWork?Status
Adele Faberprimary authorall editionscalculated
Mazlish, Elainemain authorall editionsconfirmed
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Epigraph
"Behold how good and how pleasant it is for brothers and sisters to dwell together in unity."
The Book of Psalms
Dedication
To all the grown-up siblings
who still have a
hurt child inside them.
First words
I secretly believed that sibling rivalry was something that happened to other people's children.
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Disambiguation notice
Publisher's editors
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Information from the Portuguese (Brazil) Common Knowledge. Edit to localize it to your language.
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When parenting authorities Adele Faber and Elaine Mazlish sat down to write the national bestseller How to Talk so Kids Will Listen & Listen So Kids Will Talk, they found that the could not contain their chapter on sibling rivalry. No matter how much they tried to pare down their advice, they found the subject inexhaustible-and parents agreed! Siblings Without Rivalry guides the way to family peace and tranquility with humor and compassion for both parents and children. Action-oriented and easy to understand, it's packed with sensitive yet sensible ways to turn quarreling siblings and frustrated parents into an open, communicative family.

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