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Shit My Dad Says by Justin Halpern
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Shit My Dad Says (edition 2010)

by Justin Halpern

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2,3251724,664 (3.87)71
Tuesdays with Morrie meets F My Life in this hilarious coming-of-age book about a son's relationship with his foul-mouthed father by the 29-year-old comedy writer who created the massively popular Twitter feed of the same name.
Member:AskAn_Atheist
Title:Shit My Dad Says
Authors:Justin Halpern
Info:Boxtree Ltd (2010), Paperback
Collections:Your library
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Sh*t My Dad Says by Justin Halpern

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English (171)  Dutch (1)  All languages (172)
Showing 1-5 of 171 (next | show all)
The lines are good most of the time, but the caustic, mean-spirited sarcasm does wear thin after a while. This guy's father is definitely not the kind of parent I would have wanted to grow up with,not to mention that I am feel extra fortunate my father was nothing like that asshole. Yes, you do have to label Halpern senior for the asshole that he is. Does he have some good folk wisdom? Sure, he does have his moments, but the overall meanness did have some very unsettling moments and at least one or two examples of him breaking promises to the kid, which I found upsetting. It was upsetting because I grew up on the notion that you do not give your word lightly, but if you do, you do not break it. I thought the book would be funny, and it has its funny moments, mostly in the quotes. The memoir segments vary, but pretty much bring down the funny one-liners. I am hoping they mellowed it out somehow for the upcoming sitcom, which I noticed that William Shatner is playing the elder Halpern role. If they go for the cranky old guy portrayal, it may work. But if they go for the caustic, spiteful, mean old guy in the book, it won't work. To be honest, I don't quite get what the hype is around the book. Stick with reading the one-liners on Twitter. ( )
  bloodravenlib | Aug 17, 2020 |
Sh*t My Dad Says is a hilarious look at the father and son relationship between author and his father. Full of moments that makes the reader smile and laugh as well as quotes from “Dad” this book is a great quick and easy read. ( )
  Preston.Kringle | Jul 4, 2020 |
In a world where no one really says what they mean, and everyone is left to read between the lines, Sam Halpern leaves no room for ambiguity. He shoots from the hip and tells it like it is. He verbalizes many of the things we all think but never say. He’s crass, vulgar, totally UnPC and laugh-out-loud funny!

Justin Halpern writes about growing up with a dad who never minces words no matter how serious the situation. Through it all though Sam still comes out looking like a man who loves his family and tries to do the right thing.

Many of the antidotes and “Sam Halpernisms” will linger much longer than the few hours it takes to read this hilarious and highly entertaining little book.
( )
  tshrope | Jan 13, 2020 |
Not well-written, but kinda sweet. Moderately amusing in places. Unless you think parents using profanity is somehow inherently funny. In that case, it's fucking hysterical. ( )
  ralphpalm | Nov 11, 2019 |
[Vacío/Empty] ( )
  andycyca | Aug 6, 2019 |
Showing 1-5 of 171 (next | show all)
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Author nameRoleType of authorWork?Status
Justin Halpernprimary authorall editionscalculated
Schemmel, SeanReadersecondary authorsome editionsconfirmed
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Epigraph
Dedication
For my dad, mom, Dan, Evan, Jose, and Amanda
Thank you for all your love and support
First words
"All I ask is that you pick up your shit so you don't leave your bedroom looking like it was used for a gang bang. Also, sorry that your girlfriend dumped you."

When I was twenty-eight years old, I lived in Los Angeles and was in the third year of a long-distance relationship with my girlfriend, who lived in San Diego. Most Fridays I'd sit in traffic for three and a half hours as my 1999 Ford Ranger crawled 126 miles down the I-5 to San Diego. Every once in a while my car would decide to shut off its engine. Meanwhile, its radio was busted, so I only got one station, whose playlist seemed limited to songs from the burgeoning rapper Flo Rida. There's nothing like merging onto a freeway only to have your engine stop, steering wheel lock, and a deejay scream, "And here's MY MAN, Flo Rida, with his new hit 'Right Round'! Let's get this party started!"
Quotations
"That woman was sexy. . . . Out of your league? Son, let women figure out why they won't screw you. Don't do it for them."
"Do people your age know how to comb their hair? It looks like two squirrels crawled on their heads and started fucking."

"The worst thing you can be is a liar. . . . Okay, fine, yes, the worst thing you can be is a Nazi, but then number two is liar. Nazi one, liar two."

On My First Day of Kindergarten
"You thought it was hard? If kindergarten is busting your ass, I got some bad news for you about the rest of life."
On Leaving My Toys Around the House
"Goddamn it, I just sat on your goddamned truck guy...Optimus Prime? I don't give a shit what it's called, keep it away from where I like to put my ass."
Last words
(Click to show. Warning: May contain spoilers.)
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Tuesdays with Morrie meets F My Life in this hilarious coming-of-age book about a son's relationship with his foul-mouthed father by the 29-year-old comedy writer who created the massively popular Twitter feed of the same name.

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