The author does a lovely job sharing her experiences with death and the dying along with beneficial information for the reader; it can be a difficult read at times but is sorely needed as you just never know, and being prepared can help so many. ( )

This was just the book for me, 80-plus and never having thought much about death, its prequels and sequels. Each page is worth reading, and rereading. ( )

This book had many good elements, both philosophical or practical. I liked that Tisdale did not take a particularly religious (or irreligious) view of the process of dying. Rather, she approached it as something that happens to each of each of us. Dying is very much a bodily process, and this is something she emphasizes even as she discusses the psychological process that the dying and those with them also explore.

Sadly, I cannot speak to the practical applicability of the advice. Because of my father's terminal cancer, I was about to read this book, but he died more quickly than we anticipated and I had barely started it when he died. Although this book is about dying, not grieving the dead, even reading it just after a death still helped. It emphasized that there is always another thing to wish for. Not having read this book in time, not having more time to say goodbye, would have just been something else a few weeks or months later. ( )

"Births and deaths bring the crowds, and the crowds seem to say, This is what counts." (p. 126)

This book is full of good, useful information, and often staggering insight. I fear, though, that it contains far too much of both to be useful to most people who already know that they, or someone they love, is actively dying. It was difficult to take it all in, and I had to go slowly, even with neither threat (as far as I know) currently at my doorstep. I'm glad to have read it, though, and it bears re-reading, too. Tisdale's experience as a palliative care nurse coupled with her Buddhist practice, thorough research, and skillful writing make for a winning combination. She is also direct (sometimes intimidatingly so, especially in Chapter 4, Communication), matter of fact, and unfussy, and we could all benefit from listening to what she has to say. ( )

This book operated on two different levels for this reader, as a person who’s been fascinated by death since childhood, and as a man who lost his wife of decades in July of 2018. It does an excellent job of covering the scientific, cultural, emotional, and some of the religious details of the last stages of life, the moment of death, and the process of decay under many different situations. The cruel facts of life and death were always interesting to me, it’s just now those same facts are much more relevant, painful, and personal to me.
The author covers so many topics: from what to expect from hospice care (the great help and some of the shortcomings), how important it is for each person to figure out what they view as a good death, what is reasonable to expect from families and caregivers at different stages, and how to talk to the dying and the grieving.
Speaking for myself, I know well just how uncomfortable people are when talking to the grieving. Tisdale mentions many of the stupid, insensitive, and cruel things that people say to those suffering a devastating loss. These people mostly mean well, but many times they don’t think before they speak, believing they’re giving sound and comforting advice. They are also wondering how long will this person be so upset before they return to normal and are fun to be around again. Our society doesn’t handle the uncomfortable well, in the back of many minds are three seemingly simple words, get over it. Having read a fair number of grieving books, I found that most mention many of the same insensitive words and phrases. I remember wanting to rip the head off a young supermarket bagger who told me, “It’s God’s plan.” She still has her head, as this young girl had such a sweet smile, and I realized she was trying to be helpful in the best way she knew … she just didn’t know I was an atheist on edge. I just left quietly.
This book does such a good job of explaining what the dying person may be going through at each stage. Being restless, not eating or drinking, losing control of their body, being talkative, or silent, so many things … all of it’s hard for the caregiver if they don’t have a clue to what is going on. Every death has some things in common, and all may be as different as the dying person was during their entire life.
Another thing that the book covers is some of the legal details of death plans, advance directives, organ and tissue donations, and assisted death.
Advice for Future Corpses* is such a clear, straightforward, and kind book that I would recommend it to everyone, as all of us will be near to someone who dies, and knowledge is power, and many times comforting. ( )