CW: Suicidal thoughts and attempts. Anxiety. ( )

CW: A lot of reference to suicide, drug use, anxiety, panic attacks.

2.5 Stars ( )

This book is about a girl who suffers anxiety disorder, from the ups and downs of life as a little girl to being in college and out of her parents house. At first she loved the idea of independence until the pressure increased, leaving her mentally shaken and physically incapacitated. ( )

When Samantha leaves for college, she expects to find independence from the strict rules of her parents house, not to face increasingly debilitating panic attacks. This memoir is a good look at the challenges of living with panic disorder. Told in free verse, Samantha describes all aspects of her experience, from how a panic attack feels to the types of medications that she tries to dealing with the other challenges of college life on top of a mental illness. The verse splits the narrative up into shorter lines, which may make it a good choice for reluctant readers, but otherwise does not add much to the work. Characters also remain underdeveloped, and readers looking for a detailed account of life in college will be disappointed, as Samantha compresses all four years of college and her first year post-college into a 280 page volume. A list of resources for those dealing with anxiety and panic disorder is provided at the end of the volume. Recommended for high schoolers and older, especially those who know someone with mental illness. ( )

Samantha Schutz shares her thoughts, phobias, and day to day struggles in this poetic memoir of her painful realization that she has anxiety disorder. She has been given everything she needs to become successful in life from her parents, but, something they cannot give her is peace of mind when she begins having panic attacks at the age of 17. She lets the reader into her most secret and personal thoughts and feelings while she tries to cope with the internal conflict between her mind and body. With more and more pressure being placed on teens today regarding grades, schools, and acceptance, I Don’t Want to be Crazy is a must read for all high school and college students.

Like it has been ripped out of her personal journal, I Don’t Want to be Crazy will keep readers interested through the daily account of Samantha’s life while she tries to come to terms with a hidden disease. This memoir deals with a teen’s life from high school through college graduation and beyond. Many YA’s think they are the only ones living with anxiety disorder, when actually an estimated 13% of the U.S. adult population suffers for this disease. While living through this with my husband shortly after he graduated from college, Schut’z memoirs are very similar to what we were fighting several years ago. This book can certainly help anyone going through this. ( )